I started off the United report last week apologising to the players for doubting them. Ha! They should be apologising to us this week, the knobheads, because it turns out those fears I had about how the wheels were on the verge of falling off weren’t unfounded after all. It just happened a week later than some of us feared it would.
Is it too late for me to retract that apology? I should probably say sorry to all of you about to read this instead, because I’ve not taken this well, to put it mildly. I may well be over-reacting and in a few weeks I might look like a right twat (hopefully I do, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time), but that’s ok, I’m not telling you I’m right and that the sky is definitely falling in, I’m just telling you how I feel right now, and right now I feel absolutely fucking despondent. I mean come on…. Swansea? Fuck off Liverpool, just fuck off.
We should have seen it coming I suppose. It’s rarely the big games that prove our undoing, because the players are up for those games and stay focused. The lacklustre displays and lapses in concentration almost always happen against shite. I can’t even put into words just how angry and disappointed I am after this game, although obviously I'm going to give it a go!
I gave it two days to let the dust settle in the hope I’d come at it with a clearer, more rational perspective having had time to reflect, but I may as well have just written this as soon as I got home from Anfield as nothing has changed, I’m still completely disgusted. I just feel like washing my hands of the whole lot of them right now, the hope shattering bastards.
First things first, the title isn’t happening. It was a nice dream while it lasted but it’s over now. We might go on a mini run when Mané gets back and get back onto the fringes of it, but even then there’s no point getting our hopes up as it will only end in bitter disappointment, as it always fucking does. This was the weekend where the dream died. Or specifically, it was the weekend where the dream choked to death on its own vomit.
We’re ten points behind now but it might as well be a hundred and ten if we aren’t capable of beating the dregs of the league, which we STILL clearly aren’t. For a while it looked like we’d cracked that particular nut because in fairness we have battered some of the shite. But Swansea? FUCKING SWANSEA??? Even if we beat Chelsea next week - which we probably will as it’s what we do - it doesn’t even matter anymore, as you know we’re just as likely to go to Hull a few days later and piss down our own leg, because that’s also what we do.
And if it’s not Hull, it’ll be some other fucking hopeless shower. We’ve taken two points from three games, two of which were against the worst teams in the league. That’s modern day Liverpool right there in a turd shaped nutshell. Same old same old.
This was just an unspeakably bad, unforgivable result. You can’t lose at home to the bottom team in the league if you have any kind of aspirations of being successful. You just can’t. If you pull shit like that it just undermines every good thing you’ve done before. It’s soul destroying, you get your hopes up and think maybe this team has what it takes and that this year will be different, and then just like that it all comes crashing down around you and you realise it’s just the same old fucking shit we’ve had for 27 years.
I fully expect some sort of Klopp rallying cry in the next few days, and he has to do that because unlike me, he can’t just give up, curl up into a ball in the corner, call everyone a useless bottling twat and sulk. He has to stay positive and ensure his players do as well. No doubt we’ll get more talk of how we all need to believe, if we stick together great things can happen, YNWA etc etc etc
If you can still get on board with that, more power to you as you’re stronger than I am. Klopp probably hates shithouses like me, but that’s fine, I’m not arsed. I hate what I've become too, but 27 years of this fucking shit is enough to wear even the biggest optimist down, and if you’ve been around here for any length of time you’ll know I was usually one of those. This weekend though, Gylfi Sigurdsson delivered a knockout punch that I’m not getting up from. I mean what’s the point? I’d only be staggering to my feet to get floored by another left hook. No, I’m done kidding myself now.
You know what the absolute worst part about this was? It wasn’t going 2-0 down completely against the run of play. That was bad, but it can happen and all the top sides will occasionally find themselves in similar situations. No, the thing that I can’t get past is that we actually got back to 2-2 with loads of time left to play and all the momentum with us, and we still lost the game from that position. Sorry, that’s just unforgivable.
Swansea were shitting themselves and no doubt expecting the worst, but instead of stepping on their throat we threw them a fucking lifebelt. Good old Liverpool, handing out to points like confetti to relegated teams since 1990.
Contenders just don’t lose that game having got back to 2-2. They go on and win it, sometimes with the last kick of the game if necessary, and have the rest of the country calling them all the spawny bastards under the sun. A bit like Arsenal have been doing recently for example. You remember Arsenal don't you? That team we all love to laugh at due to the way they always bottle it when they’re in a title race and who we were looking down on a couple of weeks ago? Yeah, they’re above us now, as are Spurs. Does anyone think that’s going to change between now and May?
I’m more fearful about whether we’ll stay ahead of the two Manc clubs now than I am hopeful as to whether we can overhaul those above us. How can you not be, given the way we’ve been spluttering along for the last couple of months? You know what really fucking stinks? Everyone has been ripping on City and justifiably so as it feels like they lose every couple of weeks - sometimes heavily - yet here they are just two points behind us. Then there’s United… Honestly, if we finish sixth this year I might just give up completely.
Those who didn’t allow themselves to be taken in by title talk are no doubt handling this better than I am right now. If you were only ever expecting a challenge for a top four spot then this isn’t bad and it’s easy to look at the positives of the situation. Me? My toys are flying out of the pram, the dummy is out too and I'm wailing like I need feeding and have shit myself. I'm under no illusions how this all looks, believe me, and if you think I'm a big hysterical baby that's fine, I won't hold that against you at all.
I could lie I suppose, put on a brave face and say it’s not over and there’s a lot of points to play for and a lot can happen. I’m not feeling it though, all I’m feeling is disgust and contempt for a team that lost at home to fucking Swansea. If you can’t count on them picking up three points at home to Swansea, how can you believe in them to do anything, especially with their track record?
The big picture still gives cause for optimism, but I’m firmly in small picture mode as the only thing that matters to me is the title. It’s an obsession now, it’s reached the point where I just don’t give a shit about anything else. We’re still on course to finish in the top four and we’re one good result away from another cup final, so that’s undoubted progress and some might feel ok about that, pleased even. Not me. Sorry.
Given the way we started the season and the football we were playing, the title WAS a realistic goal, but I don’t think Klopp or the board ever saw it that way, because if they did they’d have pulled out all the stops to get what we needed this month to give us that extra push you need in the second half of the season. Instead they’re sitting back and doing fuck all, trotting out the usual tired excuses and waiting until the summer to get the players they know we need. It’s almost as though they see this year as part of the rebuild and it’s next year when we’ll really go for it, but that’s bullshit as it’s there to be won this year. At least, it was.
If we finish second, third or fourth, I’ll take absolutely nothing from that because it’s not the title. I’m not saying that’s right or fair, I accept I’m in the minority and also that beggars shouldn’t be choosers, but the truth is, being in the Champions League means nothing to me. In fact, full disclosure, I’d rather not be in it. That doesn't mean I'd rather finish 8th than second, it's just in an ideal world I'd rather not play in Europe until we've won the title.
Why? Because being in the CL makes it even more difficult for us to achieve the Holy Grail. Look at how badly we’ve coped these last few weeks when we had to play more than once a week with a few players unavailable. Put us in that situation next season and we’ll probably finish 8th again, like we did last year.
At the risk of sounding like a spoilt, ungrateful, self entitled little brat, fuck the cups too. For one thing, I don’t expect us to get past Southampton anyway, and even if we did I don’t think I could sit through the misery of being beaten by Mourinho and United at Wembley. All my eggs were in the league title basket, and the dozy, complacent fucks dropped it and smashed those eggs all over L4 on Saturday. Maybe winning a cup would help to compensate that, especially against the Mancs, but right now it doesn’t feel like it would be much consolation and besides, would you trust this group to win a final?
I just want the league. I want it so bad it’s stopping me from thinking rationally and it’s making me just want to lash out in all directions. I’m fucking fuming about what happened on Saturday, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to feel that way, and here’s why.
If we’d lost to Chelsea, City, Arsenal, Spurs and United, but beaten Burnley, Bournemouth, Swansea, West Ham and Southampton, we’d still be on the same points that we are and we’d be even further behind Chelsea, but I’d be feeling totally different about the situation. I’d see hope and reason for optimism, because it would just be a case of getting a little better so we could go toe to toe with the best teams. It would be completely excusable, as there’s no shame in losing to better teams.
None of those fuckers beat us though, because on our day we’re better than all of them, including Chelsea. But ultimately what does that matter if you lose to Burnley, Bournemouth and Swansea? When it comes to playing against teams we should beat easily, too often we just don’t get it done. I think we’ve got every right to be furious after what they served up on Saturday, because it was complacent, irresponsible and totally inexcusable, and it wasn’t a one off.
Klopp doesn’t get a free pass either. Not playing Matip even though he knew Swansea would go long to Llorente was a mistake. I understand his reason for it, but it was still a mistake. Picking Emre fucking Can was a mistake too. Again, I get it, Origi and Sturridge were so fucking bad at Plymouth they played themselves out of the team, but we didn’t need a crab like Can in a game like this. His inclusion added nothing but it took plenty away because it meant Lallana on the right wing, hence once again weakening two positions.
And why exactly was Klopp sat down for the entire first half? That’s just not him. It was weird, I don’t know what was going on but there was something not right about that. He stood up in the second half but even then he wasn’t exactly getting into it, in fact he hardly said a word.
I’ve seen it suggested by some that the crowd were part of the problem but I reject that completely. Yes, the atmosphere was terrible in the first half (mostly because everyone was fucking freezing, that might be the coldest I’ve ever been at the match) but title chasing teams don’t need 'atmosphere' to beat the bottom team in the league, they could play them on the fucking moon and still win.
I definitely think Klopp’s lack of involvement played a part in how quiet the crowd were too, as everyone was just sat there huddling together trying to keep warm, hoping to be entertained with a few goals and three points. Did the crowd just turn up expecting an easy win? Hell yeah, but so fucking what, we’re not the ones out there on the pitch. We'll be there against the likes of Dortmund when we're needed, but sorry, you should be able to get it done without us when you're playing the worst team in the league.
When we went 2-0 down the crowd responded and helped get the team back into it, and even when Swansea scored again the fans didn’t give up until it became clear the players had. It’s not down to the fans that the performance was shit, and although we shouldn’t need Klopp to get us going, him just sitting there looking frozen didn’t help. His afternoon was summed up when he put Matip on up front with about 30 seconds left. The only purpose that served was to amuse all the Mancs watching on TV. Don't get high and mighty about Fellaini if you're going to do the same thing a week later.
I’ve written barely anything at all about the game itself yet, but what is there to even say? Firmino was the only one who played well and even before his two brilliant goals I thought he was looking sharper than he had for weeks. Lallana is the only other one who could even say he was ok though as everyone else was shit, some more than others.
I’m more angry at them as a collective than anything though. It’s not about singling out individuals, it’s the collective that’s the problem and Klopp is included in that. After a defeat like this it’s only natural to try and figure out what went wrong, and there are plenty of talking points and possible explanations. Was it due to Mané not being there? Maybe the problem was that the midfield too static and lacking creativity? Maybe the defence just isn’t good enough? Maybe it would have been different if Matip had played?
All of these things have some merit but you can analyse this to death and it’s all pointless at the end of the day. It’s not down to any one of those things because even allowing for ALL of that, we still should have won as it’s fucking SWANSEA and they’ve been horrendous all season. It’s something more than all of that because this has been happening for decades. The managers change, the players change, but we still keep losing to shit teams. It’s become embedded in the DNA of modern Liverpool and it’s why we never win the league anymore.
Chelsea will win it because there’s no way in a fucking million years they would lose at home like this to the bottom team, or ship three goals in 15 minutes to blow a 3-1 lead and lose at Bournemouth. Champions don’t do shit like that. Losers do. Is it too harsh calling them losers? Well they’ve lost two cup finals and then shit themselves when they went top of the league, so the weight of evidence isn’t exactly in their favour.
And oh yeah, Kevin Friend is a massive cunt and if he never referees us again it will be too soon. That’s all I got, now I’m off to grab some razor blades and run a bath. And if I've dragged you into my pit of despair, I can only apologise.
Team: Mignolet; Clyne, Lovren, Klavan, Milner; Henderson, Can (Origi), Wijnaldum (Matip); Lallana, Firmino, Coutinho (Sturridge):
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