torahboy

It's Friday night. I am absolutely fucking well skint and I'm watching a show that is constantly asking me for money. I'm looking at Fearne Cotton as she reads out phone numbers that I can use to make a donation and I feel both saddened and mean spirited because I cannot use those numbers. I even feel guilty about the wank I'm having at the time.

Hate to come across as callous but I laughed my fucking head off at the first couple of attempts to hang this guy. Even he looks a bit embarrassed by it all. He must have thought he'd touched for a life sentence of being made to look stupid. If it wasn't so serious this would be absolutely hilarious.

Yes he did. And Mike fucking Riley was the ref'.

The fact that Riley is the referee, and taking into account his position, and accepting that his judgement is final, the fact that he didn't blow for a penalty suggests that he doesn't trust the evidence of his own eyes and therefore should not be allowed to officiate in a sport where his decisions are crucial. He didn't look to his linesman for guidance, he just waved play on. So he made the call on what HE saw and if what he saw from his position wasn't a penalty then he is a cheating cunt! I know the decision had nothing to do with the outcome, but may well have done had he given the fucking thing. Fuck it. Bolton next. Wonder who the ref is for that one? Hands up all those who'd like it to be Mike fucking Riley!

I know the failure to award us a penalty probably wouldn't have altered the outcome but this Riley freak has history with decisions like this. He is perfectly placed to see Degen being brought down, the ball not changing direction and even the Spurs players expecting a penalty to be given. He was perfectly placed at Anfield a couple of seasons back when he watched Tiago punch the ball away from a Liverpool corner. He admitted to Carragher on that occasion that he was "anticipating a push'. Un-fucking-believable! What on earth was this boy fondling cunt anticipating tonight? A fucking backhander off Danny Levy? There is absolutely no reason why abysmal refereeing such as this should go uncriticized. Ok, Liverpool were fucking awful and they will get rightly slammed for being so, but Riley fucking stunk as well. So while we're picking the bad stuff out of this game don't forget that baldy, fucking, corrupt, perverted freak of a referee. I was livid over Babel's booking for complaining about another fucking shite decision so the non-penalty incident fucked me right off. I really would like to strangle Mike Riley............................and Dossena, and Plessis, and Hyppia, and Cavaleiri, and that jism dribble of droopy eyed humanity that is Harry fucking Redknapp. I hate the fucking, cunting, twatting, bastard, fuckpig, shit sucking, arse produce that are Spurs fans...........and the Carling fucking Cup.

Harris may not be stupid but he is certainly malicious. The comments about the demographic of Liverpool not being appealing could equally be applied to Newcastle. Demography is the study of statistics regarding births and deaths, the movement of, and the growth and decrease in, the population of defined areas. An observation on the financial state of Liverpool cannot accurately be drawn merely from study of its demographic. If he means the financial deomgraphic, the growth of businesses and the flow of money in a local economy, then he should be precise and say as much. Even then he would be wrong. Jack Stopforth, from the Liverpool Chamber of Commerce, would be the first to disagree with Harris's conclusion about Liverpool being financially unappealing. Harris seems to be unclear in his use of language and also in his understanding of Liverpool's current economic status. Maybe the cunt is fucking stupid after all.

Man Utd supporting bagman for international crooks (Shinawatra and Abramovich) makes disparaging comments about Liverpool. What a surprise! Harris will be comparing dickhead sizes with Tom Cannon next. After what has gone on 'in the city' these past few months should the word of anybody involved in finance ever be trusted again? Well, alright, the Provi' have offered me a £500 loan and I am tempted, but I'd never do a deal with the likes of Harris. He'd just screw you for interest and.......... Fucking hell! Have you seen what those robbing cunts at the Provident want back? Trust no one!

Vaz is actually a Roman Catholic, though still very much a wanker.

The codefied language that we employ when discussing girls and women of certain ages always makes me smile. "She's going to be a doll when she grows up" actually means "I wouldn't mind giving her one now!". While "She's been a cracker in her day" actually means "She might be over sixty but I'd still give her a bang!". The latter might gain you the ridicule of your peers but you could live with that. The former would almost certainly gain you a prison sentence, which may prove difficult to live with. Mind you, Digger's daughter's going to be nice when she grows............... Nah! That's just wrong!. I'm off to look at picture's of Catherine Deneuve.

I'm really happy that pricks like Bush, Cheney and Rice are losing control, and we won't have to put up with smug New American Century twats like Perle and Edelman advancing the Zionist case through the Republican party. Happy as I am to see Obama being elected I can't see him making any great changes; the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan will continue (the arms industry is far too powerful to allow peace to break out) while the economy is as controlled and as pleasant to deal with as wild man's shite. I don't see Obama being able to do a great deal about health and welfare, at least not in the short term, and the downturn in employment will be impossible to redress until the economy revives. He has a bastard of a job facing him and he needs to be adventurous in his choices to fix things up. The problem is that he is no socialist and his natural political inclinations will mean that he will operate within the economic and social parameters of past administrations. So it will be 'different arsehole, same old shit' for the American people. The fact that he is black suggests that there is some advance in people's thinking. That's welcome......but the nature of capitalism is what really needs to change. I don't think Obama has the will to make that particular change. Good luck to the guy, though, I hope he does well.

Gullitt coined the phrase "schexchy football" when he took over at Newcastle. Liverpool helped him realise how apt the term was as his team got a good fucking by the Reds in his first game in charge. It wasch very schechxy!

The turning point was Jamie's own goal. Keane isn't a solo front player and doesn't possess the physical attributes for the job. Alongside Torres he may well become the striker that we hoped he'd be when he was signed. The lad works his bollocks off even if he isn't scoring and, although I know it isn't enough, he puts everything into his game. Stick with him and he'll come good. Tottenham are the luckiest sacks of shit on the planet. Don't know about anybody else but I can't stand that creepy, droopy eyed, job grabbing, back stabbing (ask Billy Bonds) Harry the fucking Fox Redknapp. This fucking untrustworthy, crafty cockney cunt is getting every bit of luck going. I reckon, though, that Spurs, despite the luck they have, will still finish in the bottom half dozen at the end of the season.......and Harry will probably finish up back at West Ham.

I've just watched Everton play Fulham...........the whole sorry, bitty, agricultural, mind melting, wishing for death, ninety, artless, fucking minutes! The only highlight was the realisation that Moyes cuts his own hair, probably with one of those Ronco trimmers. Its either that or Dave Blunkett's took up hairdressing. What a depressing waste of an hour and a half. Blue cunts.

I fucking well sulk when United or Arsenal score. Puts me in a right mood.

Dido's got a new album coming out. Swarm over death!!

Fuck 'plane crashes. Get your head down again and dream of horse races, lottery numbers and football results. If we luck out then we can always donate to the Arsenal air tragedy appeal. Prioritise.

I fucked Jonathan Ross's grandmother. It was years ago - I was drunk, she was drunk, it was during a blackout and Vera Lynn was on the windy-up gramaphone. The Luftwaffe were giving it to the East End and I was giving it to Doris the Lambeth Legover. Rape, the judge called it but I was acquitted because I was in a reserved occupation. I suppose I might be called 'lucky' but you wouldn't have thought so if you'd seen Missus Ross the Elder - one right ugly fucker with this wart on the side of her nose, and a lisp you wouldn't believe! War is hell!

Mark Bright? Not really. As intelligent and as meaningful as tomorrow morning's squirty gravy. I'm drinking some bottled beer I got from Suffolk, it's only about 5% but it's called 'Storm Watch'. I think I will be having some terrible Mark Brights tomorrow. Just a pity that we have to put up with one tonight.

I heard that he once had testicular cancer. Pity it didn't affect the bollocks that comes out of his mouth. Tyre burning, peg selling, pig odoured twat.

Pinochet lives!!

A real football man: delights in his team's successes and gets frustrated and downhearted with their failures. I wouldn't have expected him to denigrate the opposition in response to a defeat, like today, and he didn't. A nice change from the weasling excuses of Mourinho or the booze fuelled rantings of the milltown's Captain Scarlet Nose.

For fuck's sake, Ronnie! Just finish your pies, drink your pints and shut the fuck up!!!!!

I watched Joey Barton a while back on that BBC Inside Sport(?) with Gabby Yorath Logan thingy and he was quite strange on that programme. It was prior to his incarceration and he was saying things like "I'll be judged by a higher power than courts and judges": well, something like that. I find this recourse of submitting to a theistic judgement at a later date actually suggests that he couldn't give a fuck what people think of him anyway. What he was saying today was just more platitudes, thanking people for "sticking their necks on the line" (a mangled car crash of phrases) and his actions living with him till the day he dies. There was no expression of real regret for what he did, no public apology to the people that he publicly assaulted. He insists that prison changed him. Apart from the possibility that he now likes the taste of cock and has found other ways to use a fist, I don't think Barton has altered in any way. He's a cunt! Always was, always will be.

I am in complete accord with these sentiments and observations. If Zaki is still teararsing around the playing fields of the Premier League come February, and still scoring goals, I will be surprised. I know that he is the Egyptian player of the year but so was Mido - and he scored a cracker against us too - yet I can't help feeling that Zaki will prove to a be similarly fitful presence in the not too distant future. I might be wrong. If I am please let me know.

Absolutely correct. Zaki had a really hyperactive zip to his play on Saturday - after his second goal he ran the length of the stadium in celebration. Looked like a bit of a 'sted' head to me. Before we made a move for him we'd have to have his piss checked a dozen times, because I suspect we'd find more than just traces of meat and potato pie.