madstock

I voted based on the picture that scared me most. Simon is surely a shoe-in?

Litigious bastard. These were indeed the days.

If I could rep, I would. Furthermore, "what Lurtz said"; I would imagine that the 15 & 16 year old entrants spend half their lives on facebook/twitter and have ample opportunity to ask for a vote, as could their parents. Ta very muchly once again...

Thanks all, if of course you do decide to vote for one of the others, do bear in mind the age differential (primary school v GCSE students); I can confirm that I had no hand in the story (loo's? here/hear etc.), and that I have spent 10 years hating the fact that she was being raised near Walsall... Thanks again, though!

A splendid plan sir; it gives me opportunity to pick up on all the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. I will beat her later. Thanks to everyone who has helped out with this.

Arabic name on account of the mother, means "thankful" - twas before the behipped Columbian figured on the radar. Thanks for the votes, people!

Thanks people!

Right, last time I asked you lot to help me out with a vote it cost me my dream job and £20K... However, I am a sucker for punishment, and would very much appreciate it if you could take 10 seconds to vote for Shakira Mason here: ARRIVA - Short story entries for Midlands - Get on board - Arriva buses There are no photos, she is 10 in any case and it is a writing competition. Ta very muchly people!

It's like having to choose a child. In a non-Gary Glitter fashion. Mostly. Due to Cherry Garcia, Ben & Jerry's wins. Phish Food, too. God, I'm a fat bastard. Feeling depressed now. Must go and eat something. So yes, Ben & Jerry's.

What he said.

"Rebel Scum Mo."

The day we went to the Supreme Cat Show. Many, many cats. Plus an ewok and some Stormtroopers.

I will carry him a la St Christopher if he ever wants to come back.

This made both myself and Mrs Madstock laugh uncontrollably when it was first written; it was then reproduced on her facebook page and has had the same effect on several of her associates. Splendid work, sir.

Once again it is doing the Musaceae Two-Step.

What he said.

Pfft. Shagging supermodels is *so* 1990's.

and This would be about as dark as it could get... Failing that, Bane.

1. House; nothing too big, only 4/5 beds but without any neighbours. Possibly surrounded by an electric fence and with gun turrets in place. There would be a polytunnel, geothermal heat extractor, wind turbine, a whole roof made of solar panels, a library and a large cinema. 2. Rabbit Sanctuary; they are the most abused animal in the UK and as such there will always be need - I would have their hutches made to look like great monuments of the world so that the pen could double as a crazy golf course during the slower months. 3. Sort out my family. This would for the mostpart involve assassination, although I would probably put a few quid in trust for my daughter, too. 4. Attend as many galleries, festivals, exhibitions, jamborees, fetes & gigs as it is possible for one person to do and document the entire time via the medium of video. 5. Get some stormpegs for the tent, I've been meaning to do that for a while.

'Tis a quality video, too.

At my mate's wedding; we talked about porn, tits, suspenders, lead in Somerset cider, rats in Somerset cider & getting stoned. He is a lovely chap who said very nice things about Mrs Madstock's norks before stealing my bread roll. "The Watch" series are still my favourites, "Men at Arms" in particular.

All you need is a really big Pringles tube and some duct tape; that'll extend your range to cover the whole of the UK for approximately twelftyhundred pounds. Glad to offer my professional help.

Until recently my Arch-Nemesis (which beats a nemsis by a factor of at least 42) was Tony Curtis. Looks like I've had the last laugh.

I look the fucking bollocks in my shiny new specs, so I won't be having this done. Or at least I think I do, "physical features" are quite hard to make out...

Just popped back and forth a couple of times... Pegg for me as Hot Fuzz was filmed in Wells and I used to work there. Plus we really do all speak like that in the country and I like swans. Furthermore SOTD is ace, Spaced was fantastic, Big Train was "alright I suppose", and his one appearance in Black Books (as the manager of the store next door) was utter comedy genius.