Enrique Ponce

Staying positive. That was an immense performance, even down to 9 men, Spurs never looked like they’d win and it took an own goal in the 150th minute of added time, sparking celebrations like they’d just wrapped up the treble rather than yet another season of fuck all. Befiore today, they haven’t beaten one decent fucking side this season. They are shit. Everton, Man Utd, Abu Dhabi, Brighton all got beat too, so it’s glass half full for me.

Spurs players bringing their kids on now. Fucking hell, open top bus parade tomorrow.

I’m just relieved that point they got off us in September didn’t keep them up.

“It’s up for grabs now.” That, plus Piers Morgan and Alan Davies. Rather have another meaningless City title than see those classless nutsacks win anything.

Malcolm McLaren - Madam Butterfly https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wuOaqT6aMuM

I used to chuckle at Villa buying loads of old shite off us. Then we gave them 60 million quid for Downing and Benteke.

I remember when Southampton played in the CWC. Most of the sides in the UEFA Cup would be in the Champions League these days. Much the harder competition. As already pointed out, Ferguson enjoyed a level of financial and political advantage with the Mancs, particularly in the 90s, that he wouldn’t have had elsewhere. It gets on my tits hearing he knocked us off our “perch”. We knocked ourselves off it and had been shite for years before Ferguson won the league.

His transfer policy was a joke - enough budget to scattergun money at the market will sometimes get you a decent player. But nobody mentions the expensive flops (Veron, Djemba-Djemba, Kleberson etc) and the whole string of shit keepers he signed after the Nazi left. His Abderdeen? Annhilated in Europe by the Reds of course but all this crap about Ferguson breaking the Old Firm - I would argue Dundee United got there first (and were better in Europe). And the Cup Winners Cup was always the easiest European trophy to win - how many times were Liverpool even in it? Always interesting how Ferguson never left Old Trafford, he knew he had such a cushy number. Perez once said he’d never be offered the Real Madrid job because his European record (given qualifying every year) wasn’t good enough.

That first leg at a shite Real Madrid, with Keita being subbed off about 40mins too late.

Massive Attack, Unfinished Sympathy: I’ve always been convinced she sings “Like a soul without a mind, in a body without a heart, I’m missing Arrowe Park”.

Another vote for “Brass” - Bradley Hardacre was a work of genius. And The Brothers McGregor nailed the whole social club comedy thing waaay before Phoenix Nights…

Keita's best season for us was 2017-18, when he stayed in fucking Germany.

OK, that was a bit over the top - but something changed then for sure...

We haven’t been the same since that Winter break this time last year. Before, completely unstoppable. Afterwards, losing to teams from Atletico Madrid to Watford. Should have broke all records but ended up limping to the title really. WTF went on?

That fucking fraud Rodgers, “resting” first team players in a Champions League tie against Real Madrid so that we were starting with Borini and Markovic up front at the Bernabeu. All to prioritise a league game against Chelsea which we lost anyway. For all his cod Shankly impersonations, that veneered prick NEVER understood this club. I’ve blanked out the Hodgson years altogether. Refuse to believe he was ever at Anfield.

And he does look like Dean Gaffney.

Tyldsley's giving me torsion of the testes as usual. Can someone tell him it's European football? We don't have to charge about trying to win it, there's a second leg.

Pay £100m a season for the Champions League rights and then get CRAIG FUCKING DOYLE to present it. Jesus. Or rather Bejaysus as the faux Oirish kids TV presenter would no doubt say. Have you ever met anyone actually from Ireland who talks like that tit? I never thought I'd say this, but bring back Jim Rosenthal.

Cobblers. Leaving aside the fact that they were General Franco's club and went more than 30 years without a European Cup once the rest of Europe joined in, plus their epitomising just about all that is wrong with modern corporate football, in just the last few years they've been publicly knocked back by Michael Ballack, Kaka, Cesc Fabregas, Frank Ribery, Ashley Twatting Cole...and Djibril Cisse. Even Gary Mabbutt once famously turned them down, presumably because they didn't have Audi/Siemens/Gregg's Pasties or whoever else's money at the time.

I seem to remember we had a choice between signing Kewell or paying Blackburn about £15m for Duff. At the time, I thought we did a fantastic deal. Then I saw the supposedly-injured, bone-idle get on an episode of MTV Cribs, tooling around some mock-Georgian monstrosity with his bellisha-beacon missus and almost put me foot through the telly. Cheerio, Harry.

Good point, they've got Platini on now. The plug's coming out the wall.

Dimwit Sky reporter: "So David, with Manchester United reaching the final again, could this be the start of a period of European dominance, like Real Madrid in the 1950's or, er, Ajax in the 1970's...?" Gill: "Er..." NO IT FUCKING WON'T BE. And at roughly 1 European Cup every 30 years, it'll be 2118 before they have more than us. Everyone at Sky is a twat. Apart from Vicky Gomersall, obviously.

"Too bad they can't both lose" as Kissinger said about the Iran-Iraq war.

Typical Skysports Twattery at the end tonight - cameras whirling around the stand trying to catch someone crying on the telly (we're not Newcastle, fuck off), while playing REM's "Everybody Hurts". GET BENT. Fortunately, faded into the adverts before finding anyone. Richard Keys blows goats.

I can't believe some of you lot. Having a death in the family doesn't absolve him from being an over-rated, useless, ring-kissing cheating cockney shithouse. Get a grip.