Loads to get through and I’ve got very little time to do it, so I’m not going to necessarily stick to the order of games and might end up going off on several tangents.
The main theme this week is it’s been a mad week of penalties. So many games were decided by pens and a lot of them were fairly contentious to say the least.
I’ll start at Stamford Bridge last weekend where Chelsea were awarded two pens, including one in stoppage time that gave them the points against Leeds, who were later charged with failing to control their players after they protested the decision. I can’t get on board with that, it feels like rubbing salt in the open wounds. Those players had given everything in a fixture where they were given no chance, only to lose it at the death to a soft pen. What are they meant to do, just shrug their shoulders and say “ah well, win some, lose some”?
Leeds SHOULD be charged, however, for the pitiful showing they put up at the Etihad a few nights after. That was much more unacceptable than anything they did at Stamford Bridge. They’ve now conceded six to United and seven to City. And this is a team/city that sees Manchester as their mortal enemy. They’ve shown zero pride or fight and just allowed themselves to be humiliated. It’s pathetic. Arsenal like even. Just fucking relegate them. Send them back to the Championship where they belong.
In fairness they are literally hamstrung by injuries currently. Phillips is out for a couple of months with a torn hammy and my boy Bamford is out again after doing his while celebrating a goal last week. That’s hard for a thin squad like Leeds to deal with.
They were surprisingly good at Chelsea though. Raphinha put them ahead from the spot after Alonso was adjudged to have fouled James. I didn’t think that was a pen initially and it was only the replay behind the goal that convinced me. I thought Alonso made a block tackle and got the ball because of the weird angle it squirmed out, but he didn’t actually get anywhere near it. Good decision.
Raphinha’s pen wasn’t convincing. He stuttered, waiting for Mendy to dive, but Mendy didn’t dive. He did really well to stay rooted to the spot, but unfortunately he stayed rooted to the spot after the kick was taken and by the time he moved it was too late. Really weird one that.
Raphinha’s good but he’s got a face I want to slap. I can’t really put my finger on why, but I think it’s the Poundland Richarlison look he has about his grid that I don’t like. Don’t get me wrong, I’d get over it in a hurry if we signed him and I’m not saying his face is anywhere near as bad as Richarlison’s, but there is a similarity there with the permanent look of a smacked arse he has.
Reece James should have been sent off for a high, late challenge on his namesake Dan. He got a yellow, but that looks a stonewall red to me and I can’t believe he got away with it and I can’t believe how little was made of it on MOTD. Chelsea equalised soon after too, just to make it worse.
Not a great goal to give away that one. Mount finished at the near post but it’s such a strange looking goal because when it goes in you’re thinking “where’s the fucking keeper??”. He’s actually stood in the middle of the goal just watching it, doing nothing. His positioning there was schoolboy stuff. He’s shite him though. He makes some amazing saves at times but overall he’s fucking terrible as some of the goals he lets in I genuinely think I’d save, and you won’t find a worse keeper than me.
He let in seven at City and although I’ve only seen one of them (which he was partly culpable for) I’d bet there’s at least three that you can look at and say he should be doing better. He probably made three amazing saves too though.
He was beaten by a Jorginho penalty after Raphinha was adjudged to have fouled Rudiger. It could have gone either way but it looked like a clumsy ‘forward’s tackle’ and I don’t think Leeds can complain that was given, even if on another day it might not have been.
Joe Gelhardt came off the bench and equalised with his first touch. I’m surprised he didn’t put something on his instagram trolling the Reds for letting him go after that one. Maybe he would have if Chelsea hadn’t gone and won it deep into stoppage time with a somewhat questionable pen. On Rudiger again. There wasn’t much in it and Rudiger milked it for all its worth, but Klich did kick him on the foot and VAR definitely can’t overturn that one as there is clear contact.
Jorginho scored again and the closing seconds of the game seemed to be Chelsea players doing all they could to incite a reaction from Leeds. Havertz was doing all he could to provoke trouble and Rudiger was unsurprisingly the first to go steaming in at the first sign of aggro.
He reminds me of Martin Keown. Proper horrible fucker but you want someone like that on your side. Keown was, without a hint of irony, moralising about Rudiger’s antics and saying he’s too aggressive and needs to be calmer. This is like when Souness is frowning on bad tackles. It’s like they’ve forgotten how they played the game.
Rudiger’s contract is up this summer and there’s talk that Chelsea are going to give him… wait for it…. 400k a week!!! Fuck me, he’s good but he’s not exactly Joel Matip is he? (Yeah that’s right, for get Virg, I’m setting the high bar with my guy Big Bird now). If he’s getting 400k a week then we can forget about getting Mo signed to a new deal. Oil clubs fucking up the market, as per.
Speaking of which, City beat Wolves with a highly dubious penalty. The ref adjudged that the ball struck Moutinho’s arm but the video was inconclusive. You can’t see if it hit his arm or if it was his armpit, and because it isn’t a “clear and obvious error” the decision stood. I don’t think it’s a penalty because if you have to examine it that forensically to see if it hits an arm then it’s not handball is it?
However, why the fuck is Moutinho jumping with his arm raised like that? He was asking for trouble and he got trouble, so while I don’t think it was a pen I still think Moutinho only has himself to blame, because even if that ball didn’t touch his arm that would be through luck rather than anything else. Shit refereeing but if you jump like that then you’re giving these clowns the opportunity to fuck you over.
Wolves had actually dealt with City pretty comfortably, especially in the first half where they hadn’t given up a shot on target. They were up against it after the break though because Jiminez got himself sent off just before the break with the kind of stupidity that I couldn’t cope with if I was a manager.
Honestly, if I’m the Wolves manager then that cunt is on the transfer list now. I don’t care how good he’s been for the club and how popular he is. I’d fuck him off in a heartbeat after that. You can’t condone that shit. It’s one of the worst sending offs I’ve ever seen in terms of selfishness and stupidity. The first booking is for pulling Rodri back by the shirt. I’ve seen plenty saying that’s harsh, but shirt pulling like that is an automatic booking.
Besides, even if it was harsh you can’t then do what Jimenez did. Standing over the free-kick to delay it was bad enough but he might have gotten away with that. Sticking his leg out and blocking the free-kick though. I mean come on, there’s not a referee in the world who isn’t going to produce a second yellow for that because he’s basically just thumbed his nose at the ref and said “what are you going to do about this? Send me off, I dare you”.
Fat Jon Moss did send him off and so he fucking should have. Jimenez applauded the Wolves fans as he left the field and they applauded him back. Why? Why the fuck are you clapping the irresponsible thick cunt? His selfish act has just fucked you over and robbed you of the chance of getting something from the game. As I say, I couldn’t handle being a manager because that kind of thing would cause me to over-react and cut off my nose to spite my face. He’s their best player but if I was his manager he’d be toast. What a fucking knobhead.
So City got the points without looking convincing, but they made up for that in midweek with a result that almost wiped out our nine goal advantage over them in one fell swoop. I switched it on out of curiosity and no word of a lie, within 10 seconds City scored to make it 1-0. I turned it off immediately and haven’t seen anything else from the game. I don’t even know who scored. Should have seen this coming when Guardiola was praising Bielsa in the build up. When he talks about how much he admires a team’s style, that translates to “these are tailor made for us if they play like that”. And so it proved. And of course he then praised them afterwards, with a pat on the head and encouragement to play like that next time too. Such a twat. I hate him.
That first goal was shambolic though. Terrible defending, pathetic goalkeeping and then just what the fuck was Ayling doing trying to clear it on the line? That’s a routine clearance but he looked like he’d never even seen a football before. It looked like when you’re playing in school and the ball goes over to the odd ball kid who never played footy, and he tries to kick it back to you and he’s completely uncoordinated and the ball just slices off him. Complete shite. Fuck Leeds, I hope they go down with Newcastle now the useless pricks.
Speaking of useless pricks, Arsenal bounced back from their embarrassing defeat at Goodison with a predictable 3-0 win at home to Southampton. This is what they do. Lose pitifully away and then beat some shite at home to make their fans think they’re actually not that bad after all. It’s a circle of shit.
They didn’t do anything prior to kick off to mark the passing of Ray Kennedy. Bit weird that, the fella scored a goal that won them the league AT WHITE HART LANE. Not sure what the fuck that’s all about but a lot of old time Arsenal fans weren’t pleased. Most of these new age fans were too busy looking for cameras outside so they could talk about “Laca” and “Auba”. Wankers.
Speaking of “Auba” though, he was absent from both Arsenal games this week and has had the captaincy taken off him. The fact he was captain to begin with tells you everything you need to know about modern Arsenal. They’re a fucking joke. An embarrassment. And somehow, they’re currently fourth. They won’t stay there but that’s not the point. The rest of the league should be ashamed about that. Not just Spurs and United either. Other teams like West Ham, Leicester, Wolves… they’re all definitely better than Arsenal.
Southampton were all over them early on but they didn’t score and they paid the price. I always rip Arsenal for that playing out from the back shit because they’re not good at it and it never leads to anything. Well this time it did. A move started with the keeper and ended with Lacazette finishing at the other end. It was a great goal and that will ensure Arteta keeps them doing this ad nauseam no matter how many times it costs them.
Odegaard added a second and then Gabriel headed in a third. Shame on Southampton. Conceding a goal to a “playing out from the back” move and also allowing Arsenal to score from a corner. They deserve to go down just for that. They’re in another relegation battle this year and eventually it’s probably going to catch up with them. Probably not this year but you never know.
Norwich are gonna go. They had a little mini-bounce after Dean Smith came in but they lost at home to United and then Villa and they’re bottom again after briefly leapfrogging Newcastle. They should have beaten the mancs though who were fucking crap.
Ronaldo got the only goal of the game with a penalty he won with a dive. Never a foul that, you see those in every game and they’re never given. When you have a ref who is star struck though this is what happens. Probably asked for his shirt afterwards too. Norwich had chances but De Gea kept them at bay.
Brentford beat Watford in a lively Friday night game. Friday night games at Brentford seem like a lot of fun. Sky should do a deal to have Brentford play all their home games on a Friday. Carragher and Neville wouldn’t object as they seem to have a great time whenever they go there. I’m not entirely convinced Brentford are going to have enough to stay up as they’ve been largely unconvincing after a bright start, but they’ve been refreshing and I hope they do survive.
Watford are a strange team though. I think they’ve got enough goals in them to stay up but they aren’t really getting results and this one will sting. They went ahead with a towing header by my boy Dennis. Look how high off the ground he was when he met that ball. Air Dennis.
Norgaard equalised and then Goddos won a penalty in the 96th minute when Okong dived in needlessly and caught him. Mbuemo was as cool as you like with the pen. Between him and my boy Toney (out with Covid currently) they’ve got two lads you’d have no qualms about stepping up if you need someone to keep their cool and convert a spot kick.
Onto Sunday and Newcastle got twatted at Leicester. The 4-0 scoreline doesn’t tell the full story though. The goal that set Leicester on their way was a disgrace really. I honestly don’t know how VAR isn’t telling the ref to overturn that as it’s not a pen in a million years. It’s just a blatant dive by Maddison.
I fucking hate Newcastle and want them relegated, but that decision still angered me. Tielemans converted the spot kick and Daka made it 2-0 when he finished off a lovely move involving Maddison and Barnes.
Maddison created the third for Tielemans and he grabbed the fourth himself. He’s in a great spell of form currently but he’s such a cunt I don’t like giving him any credit.
The Blues were embarrassed at Selhurst Park as the dissent against Rafa reached epic proportions. The away end were chanting Fat Spanish Waiter and red and white shite at him after he subbed Richarlison for Rondon. It did seem like the standard “Rafa’s gone crazy” sub that we saw plenty of times, but not for the first time the player he brought on scored. They still lost 3-1 so it doesn’t matter, but the key thing really was that Richarlison was injured and knew before the game he’d be brought off early to protect that.
The fans didn’t know that though and understandably they took their lead from the response of Richarlison to being subbed. He did not give off the vibe of a player that was ok with being brought off and had even more of a slapped arse face than usual. He’s out injured now for weeks so Rafa is completely vindicated there, not that the fans will see it like that. That train left the station a while ago. In fact, it was never in the station to begin with.
That whole situation is the fault of Richarlison though. He’s injured. He knows he’s injured. Now he can’t play for weeks, but he did all he could to convey a message to the fans that he was fine and didn’t want to come off. He’s done Rafa like a kipper there. He’s the biggest cunt in the league. I hate his fucking face more than I can even describe.
I’m not one to make excuses for Rafa and I don’t feel sorry for him as he knew what he was getting into, but Everton being shite is not on him. They should judge him when Calvert-Lewin is available, but by the time that fucker comes back Rafa may already be toast. He’s more of an Instagrammer than a footballer these days. All he wants to do is get attention for himself by wearing the weirdest clobber he can find and troll everyone on social media with it.
If I was a blue I’d fucking hate him. When our lads are out injured they’re posting pictures and videos in the gym assuring the fans they’re fighting hard to be back. This cunt is wearing schoolgirl outfits or dressing like Colonel Gadaffi while hanging out with rappers. It’s not what you want to see if you’re a blue and your team is in the state its in.
Everton are shite, they’re struggling with injuries and they’re in terrible form. Them losing at Palace was not a surprise. Them beating Arsenal is the outlier here, but only if you’re stupid enough to not see through Arsenal.
That Conor Gallagher is boss though isn’t he? He impresses every time I see him and his second goal in this game was a thing of beauty. Stunning strike that. We should be keeping a close eye on him as he looks very much like a Klopp midfielder. Chelsea have got so many players that he probably doesn’t have a future with them so yeah, I hope we’re watching.
Patrick Vieira was asked about Gallagher afterwards and said “He…..” zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sorry, didn’t even get past the first word. He’s getting even more dull by the week.
Arsenal beat West Ham in a controversial, snidey game at the Emirates. Both teams were throwing themselves all over the place but it was Arsenal who did it better. Coufal was sent off for two yellows, either of which could easily have gone unpunished on another day. Not saying the decisions were wrong but they were debatable.
The first one was soft at best. The second yellow saw him concede a penalty even though he won the ball. It was a shite tackle as he should have won that cleanly and there’d have been no debate. Instead he brushes the top of the ball and then caught Lacazette with his follow through. Anthony Taylor gave a pen and he was entitled to.
Fabianski saved the pen but West Ham were a goal down already through Martinelli, and Smith Rowe added a second late on. Amazingly, Moyes didn’t complain about the decisions (he said Coufal should have won the tackle cleanly but instead gave Taylor a decision to make, which is actually spot on) and insisted that his biggest disappointment was that the players didn’t perform better. That’s a first for him. What next, Eddie Howe starting to blame refs?
*Update: Yep! Moyes and Howe have some Freaky Friday shit going on at the moment.
It’s starting again though isn’t it? Pundits talking Arsenal up and highlighting the promise of the young players, saying they’re good to watch and that they’re building something. When will they ever learn? We were getting this a couple of weeks ago and then they went and threw up all over themselves at Goodison. They’ll get beat at Leeds this weekend. It’s what they do.
Southampton bounced back from losing to Arsenal with a battling draw at Palace. Zaha broke the deadlock after just two minutes. Willy Caballero is in goal for the Saints at the moment and he did his best Brad Jones at Old Trafford “Dodgeball” impression is flinging himself out of the way of Zaha’s shot. Awful that.
Some jabroni named Smallbone had a chance to level but produced a shot that was even worse than his haircut, which I wouldn’t have even thought possible. What do you call that? Did he go into the barbers and ask for “a reverse Friar Tuck”?
Ward-Prowse levelled with a goal everyone saw coming as soon as the free-kick was awarded. It’s as good as a penalty really as he’s that good. Broja lashed one in from 25 yards to stun Palace and put Southampton ahead but it ended all square when Ayew popped up at the back post for his first Palace goal. Only took him 43 games to get it. He’s a striker. That’s so shit it’s actually impressive in its own way.
Patrick Vieira said afterw….. zzzzzzzzz. Sorry, nodded off as soon as I saw his face.
Brighton lost at home to Wolves. They had a load of players missing including the in form Neil Maupay. They struggle to score goals anyway but if you take their main striker out and put them up against one of the most defensive, miserly teams in the league, then a 1-0 defeat is the most likely outcome and thats what happened.
Saiss got the only goal of the game after a brilliant ball by Neves found him six yards out. They said on commentary Saiss is Moroccan. Did any of you know that? I had absolutely no idea where he was from and just assumed by default that he was Portuguese.
Mwapa should have equalised but put one over from two yards. I’ve got an irrational dislike of him and I think it’s just because he scored that fluke at Anfield and tried to claim he meant it.
Traore put two chances on plates for his fellow forwards late on but they wasted his good approach work. That’s two assists he didn’t get through no fault of his own which feeds the narrative peddled by most of you reading this that all he does is “run really fast”. You know who you are. And I know who you are. God I hope we sign him just so I can be proved right. He’s a unique, special talent who could be amazing in the right environment.
Aston Villa, sorry I mean “Steven Gerrard’s Aston Villa” s they are now officially called, won 2-0 at Norwich in the Dean Smith Derby. Jacob Ramsey’s solo effort set them on their way and Watkins wrapped it up later. Norwich had four players out with Covid and Dean Smith said the Premier League wouldn’t even answer their calls about a possible postponement. Should have driven to Manchester and dialled from an 0161 number, they’d have answered it then.
Finally, Rafa eh? Pulled out a draw against all the odds at Chelsea. The most hated man in the stadium as both sets of fans can’t stand him, but he just goes in there not giving a fuck and focusing only on the job at hand. He’s a proper weird bloke in many ways. He doesn’t celebrate goals, he doesn’t seem to take any joy from anything, he works at a club where he’s not wanted but he’s absolutely not arsed about it. He’s some kind of football sociopath.
But he went to a Chelsea with arguably the worst starting eleven Everton have ever fielded in a top flight fixture, and he went home with a point.
Chelsea were hammering them but the goal just wouldn’t come. Mount eventually broke through after 70 minutes but four minutes later Branthwaite stole in at the back post on a set-piece to make it 1-1. Their players celebrated like mad, so did the away end, while Rafa stood there stoney faced glancing at his watch. I don’t get him at all.
Rafa had come out swinging this week basically saying “You’ve been shite for five years, I’ve only been here for five months”. They’ve been shite a lot longer than that and it’s not going to change any time soon. Still, thanks for taking a couple of points off Chelsea, much appreciated.
Chelsea have been off it in recent weeks. They’re missing Kante and Kovacic and although the players who they still have in there (Jorginho, Loftus-Cheek and Mount) are still better than the starters for most teams, you’re going to miss players of that calibre. Still, we all said that Chelsea’s main strength was the depth they have so they should be able to cope better than this.
They haven’t been awful by any means but they aren’t firing on all cylinders and everything seems like a slog for them right now. Last time out they were lucky to beat a Leeds side who conceded seven at City a few days later and then they couldn’t beat an Everton side that was… well just look. I mean fucking hell.
Pickford, Kenny, Godfrey, Holgate, Keane, Branthwaite, Iwobi, Doucoure, Andre Gomes, Gordon, Simms.
That team got a point at the home of the European Champions. All things considered that might be the best result ANY Everton team has had since they last won a trophy.
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