Geoff Woade

Watching a dwarf trying to get on to a bar stool is one of life's great pleasures.

Don't be a twat mate. It's a forum to pass the time chatting shit about a game. Don't like someone or something, move on.

Honestly discovered the cure today. Absolute shocker including full on following through, vomiting in the kitchen sink and a bastard of a headache this morning. Couldn't find the nurofen so necked about half a bottle of ibuprofen calpol. Half an hour later was 100% cured. It's a miracle I tell you.

Going to take those 15 or so chaps a while to knock together a fleet of ships.

Should be easy to find them going by the description, a ginger and someone wearing tartan. Quite rare up there.

He's a twat. Shit that we have to hear about him. He must be loaded, why can't he just fuck off, enjoy his money and leave everyone in peace. Tosser.

Absolutely unacceptable that. The refs did fuck us in the first half, no doubt but the lack of heart was a disgrace. Absolutely no leaders out there, bunch of cowards. I feel sorry for Can, he's only young and should still be under someone else's wing but because of the state of affairs we've got going, more is expected from him. Completely unfair.

'Roooonaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy'. Whilst scoring a tap in against the whipping boys

Being an unreliable tradesman and then secondly making up shit lies about why they couldn't come. Finally chased down the decorator who was meant to start this morning. His lie 'I was on my way over and then got a call that my daughter had fell over in the playground and split her head open'. (3rd time I've heard this one in the last year) might be more believable if it wasn't Saturday. The cunt. (Edit as realised I hadn't clarified it was the school he said had called)

Leighton Baines not happy there.

This is turning out to be a dear do for his girlfriends dad. He must be mental funding this. Innocent or guilty I don't know but I couldn't imagine forking out so much to prove some knuckle dragger only cheated on my daughter legally. I'd probably spend it on getting her some psychological help instead. And the rest on having him done in. I bet the cheeky cunt has his hand out wanting daddy to pay for the wedding next.

RSPC were useless when we rang them about a dog next door a few years ago. The couple there split up, went back to each's parents house and left the dog in which barked morning noon and night. Basically it took calling every day for nearly a week to get them just to come round and have a look. Their reasoning to me was that I wasn't in 24/7 so it was perfectly possible someone was coming round to put some food down at some point during the day. I tried telling them that wasn't really good enough but they weren't helpful.

That goal actually gets funnier every time I watch it. The shit, slow motion dive / fall is what crowns it off. Wonderful.

I think even Arnautovic would be stunned to learn he was the subject of such strenuous internet arguing. Zlatan would not.

I never want United or Chelsea to win and actually get pissed off when they do. I don't care when City win anything because it's the same as a criminal showing off his flash car. Arsenal I don't mind when they do well. I think they are a decent club.

'The only man to be sacked from the sperm bank for drinking on the job'

It doesn't matter how good the young players coming through are. Come the major tournament, wire wool headed wank rag will have all his 'safe' favourites playing. England will go out in the early stages with twat face claiming it was too early to throw in the younger players in case their confidence was knocked by being hammered by the formidable Welsh team. He'll then throw a strop about only getting a 2 year renewal instead of the 4 he deserves. Tosser.

*shudder*

They got the 4 and the 0 the wrong way round. And forgot decimal point And forgot that includes wages on a 10 year deal are included

De Gea having chips for breakfast? What?

You aren't like normal people are you? Although I do have a grudging respect for someone who manages to escape his nurses long enough to get on the Internet and instead of geting a few minutes of pornhub in, decides to wish disability on someone and their families.

We're in Dublin, walk past the leprechaun museum 'I always thought leprechauns weren't real'

You're a disgrace. And you're boring. From what I've read you still live with your ma, I bet she wishes you'd fuck off as well.

Coming from you? I bet your own family cringes whenever there is some function it would be polite to invite you to.

Why don't you fuck off you shameful cunt? You are a complete fucking parody. I mostly lurk on here but you easily take the prize of the most unpleasant turd around. I can't believe you are tolerated. Cock.