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Mel Wood

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Everything posted by Mel Wood

  1. Mel Wood
    9/11 - over the water in New Jersey, going into NYC later that day. Decided against it and watched 20 hours of news while largely shiteing it thinking more planes were going to rain down/whatever else might happen next as the 'next stage'. Dalglish resigning - getting my hair cut. JFK - leaning out of a book repository with a high-powered rifle. This thread reminds me of the Mitchell and Webb sketch, where a fella in 1960's USA is in his attic preparing to shag a water melon when his wife calls upstairs to say the president has been shot. I'd put the clip up but I think the above paragraph gives the gist.
  2. Mel Wood
    It did go badly shite in later years I think, but mid-late 80s it was worth a look, especially around the Barry and Terry/Tommy McArdle era. Anyway. Heather Haversham. Georgia Simpson. And I went to school with Rachael Lindsay (Sammy Rogers). Sadly it was primary school only, but later, 'Rarr'.
  3. Mel Wood
    She Loves Me Knot - Papa Roach?
  4. Mel Wood
    Or anything by Purl Jam?
  5. Mel Wood
    Better than 'Voulez Vous Crochet Avec Moi'..?
  6. Mel Wood
    The girl I was going out with at the time suggested buying Michael Jackson's song 'Liberian Girl' for her mum, because her mum's birthday was in early October. ... :wow: One I read about was a bird who asked her boyfriend whether the figures on Mt Rushmore occurred naturally or not. Again :wow:
  7. Mel Wood
    Nope. Definitely a Vine one, that. Oh aye - I'm not dissing TC for one minute - brilliant. And I'd bet Tim Vine is a big Cooper fan too, same style of silliness but he must be equally pissed off and flattered that most of his best stuff gets attributed to someone else so often! His DVD must have about 500 one-liner gags on it, and he's boss live too.
  8. Mel Wood
    Not to be petty, dude, because Tommy Cooper is a legend, but almost all of those jokes are not his, they're Tim Vine's. Which explains the wording of joke no 32. Still A ledge though, and I'd recommend the stage show 'Just Like That!' if it's still on anywhere, starring the shit one out of Robson and Jerome. Sorry, to be more specific, the blond shit one from Robson and Jerome. Edit: I'd also recommend Tim Vine. for anyone that likes TC's daft kind of one-liners.
  9. Mel Wood
    What I'd like to know is this. In our gym, the exercise bikes DO have reflective strips on the backs of the pedals. What the fuck is that in aid of? Are they going to put lifeguards and lifejackets next to the rowing machines?
  10. Mel Wood
    Might have been a better story if a Milfy 40-odd year old had invited you for a mother daughter threesome, got you home then shouted upstairs 'Mum? You still awake?' What a strange thread. Thought I'd stumbled on an online letters page of Razzle circa 1980's with more disturbing phoney dialogue than usual.
  11. Mel Wood
    Longest of long shots, but if anyone still wants to go to this tonight... Missus just had our first baby on Friday night and we've just got home from hozzy. I think it'd be unpopular if I dusted off down the arena to check out Jennifer Ellison's heaving bongoes and a 100ft martian. Gutted is the word - looks like a boss show and it's a perfect spec but if anyone wants a middle of the third row seat, centre stage, (that was £55 plus fees) for £20 and can pick up from crocky park, just pm me and it's yours.
  12. Mel Wood
    I like them too, the little flat-faced weirdoes. Also ate them on honeymoon last year and saw thousands flying about every evening, huge buggers. Tastes like vinegary bony lamb.
  13. Mel Wood
    Wouldn't it just be 'Neil'?
  14. Mel Wood
    Lulu is 60. And, weirdly, looks fitter than when she was 20-30, I reckon. When done up, natch. Only two winners for me. Dolly Parton.
  15. Mel Wood
    Sorry. Tried to post a picture to fit the theme, but the nearest I could get was 'Wacky Racist'.
  16. Mel Wood
    Maybe in future training session first team vs reserves matches will be 'shirts v skins'?
  17. Mel Wood
    Love that in Turkey. The flaming tapers stuffed up your nose and in your ears. Lemon juice all over your mush and a back, arm head and hand massage in the chair. Sounds a bit mincing but you do feel like a million lire afterwards. Which isn't all that much, like, but you know what I mean.
  18. Mel Wood
    Loved it apart from the sharp pebbly beach. Wished I'd done the parachute jumping off the mountains. Is 'Bloody Gorgeous' still there? You'd know him if you met him.
  19. Mel Wood
    Nice one. I've always wondered what that looks like.
  20. Mel Wood
    According to a mate who saw it last night, it makes Terminator 3 look like The Godfather. I don't know if he meant that the new robot had puffy cheeks, slicked back hair and a pencil moustache but I'm taking it as a criticism. Mind you he also expects [part of sentence removed due to neg-inviting reference to 'F'] come the end of 2009/10, so that shows what the fuck he knows about anything.
  21. Mel Wood
    Oh dear. Did you have to Romaine at home then?
  22. Mel Wood
    I just hope we don't replace him with Bolton's kit man. If we're trying to make the kits last, the last thing they need is an Ariel bombardment.
  23. Mel Wood
    Could be. Maybe he was using too much detergent and they're trying to reduce the club's overDreft.
  24. Mel Wood
    They look like a fitter Heather Mills and an older Lily Allen, to me. And Alan Sugar is a cross between Sid James and Mrs Tiggywinkle.
  25. Mel Wood
    Could indeed be...he was a dark haired skinny fella with male-pattern baldness, a slightly big nose and a penchant for arse/hand action by the early 80s...
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