alles ist gut

Was it the pain in his diodes that did for him?

Millions upon millions of tiny trial-pack size containers of moisturiser-for-men.

Fixed

Or having the blistering pace of Tim Vincken

“Could have done a better job of mixing, then.”

Might be the quid pro quo, to borrow a phrase...

Looking at the vid of the suspect being tase red...Why is his leg so much whiter than his face?

In other news, Dave U has been banned until 2025

Careful with that bath mat...

I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die

Top, top Palace analysis.

In Pogba’s defence, no-one told him that Thursday night is Europa night.

Not “Glory Box”, not on this thread, obviously.

Suttgarts website is non-committal, but his replacement is generally a forward, so it looks tactical.

Unreliable update... Harry Wilson : Played 79 minutes in Bournemouth's unlucky loss to Arsenal. Now away with Wales. Ben Woodburn: Carried off after 14 minutes during the 2-2 draw between Oxford United and Accrington. Diagnosed as a fractured fifth metatarsal; probably out until at least January. Not now away with Wales. Marko Grujic : Played the full 90 as Hertha beat Fortuna 3-1 for their third win in a row. Not now away with Wales, or Serbia for that matter. Loris Karius : Narrowly failed to keep a clean sheet against Wolves in the Europa League on Thursday, then did actually manage one at home to the might of Alanayaspor, as Besiktas ran out 2-0 winners. Now away shopping. Taiwo Awoniyi : Unused substitute as Mainz secured a 2-1 win at hapless Paderborn. Not called up by Nigeria for their 'prestigious' friendly with Brazil in Singapore, obviously. Sheyi Ojo : After playing 90 minutes in the narrow Europa League loss to Young Boys, Sheyi then played 74 against Hamilton, without any direct involvement in the five goals put past Tranmere legend Owain fon Williams. Not called up by Nigeria, still less England. Nat Phillips : Started Friday's Second Division game for Stuttgart against Wehen in the absence of Badstuber. Lasted 71 minutes in the 2-1 home defeat. Liam Millar : Played 90 minutes for Kilmarnock in the 1-0 win at Hearts. Managed to avoid getting snidely kicked in the head this week. Now away with Canada as they prepare for their grudge match with the U!S!A!. Rhys Williams : His scheduled game for Kidderminster Harriers was postponed due to a waterlogged pitch, allowing him to get off early to join up with England Under-19s. Currently NOT playing 'knock-door-run' with Curtis Jones outside Bobby Duncan's room, no siree. Shamal George : Kept a clean sheet in a competitive match for the first time since (checks notes) August 2017, as Marine scraped home 6-0 against Mossley, whose striker Adam Morgan will look back and think that he might have done better. Kamil Grabara : Having referred to them as 'winless Huddersfield' above, they have won both their subsequent games, with Kamil keeping clean sheets against Stoke City and (perhaps less predictably) Hull City. Now away with Poland Under-21s.

Will outlast Lallana, Ox, and probably Henderson and Elliott too.

And having to answer regular press conference questions about ‘working at a smaller club’...

Bananaman

Only without the top, top songs

Did he get Fired?

I usually do a curry on the 28th or 29th, if there’s leftovers.

Top giraffe neck analysis there.

The regulations say “20 outfielders and 3 keepers”.