Teasmaid

Far too much bickering and snide on this thread, it's getting tedious. Can we get it back on track? Thanks chickens.

It's not the sellers I have a problem with, it's the users. We've just got back from Barcelona, and there were thousands of vacuous arsewipes with them. Imagine you're doing a nice spot of sight-seeing, and there's a particular monument, sculpture, fountain or whatever that you fancy taking a nice snap of. There are hundreds of people around, all with the same intention. Now the unwritten rule of international tourism states that you push your kid in front of it, take a quick picture, and shift sharpish, in order to give everyone else a chance to do the same. Well not anymore. You get some Japanese bint with her phone on a 5 foot stick, taking a selfie, then checking it out, deciding she doesn't like it, and taking another one. Repeat x50. Five minutes later, once the vainglorious cuntard finally has a picture that hides her chins, she swaps places with her mate, and we go through the whole rigmarole again. I'm muttering loudly now like that geeky fella outside the phonebox on Dumb & Dumber, and eventually I frogmarched my daughter over and stood her right in front of the girl, in the most blatant act of photobombery the world has ever seen, and took a picture of the pair of them. She took the hint and fucked off. Selfish bastards. Why bother visiting a place if you're not going to actually experience it, or enjoy it, because you're too busy taking photos of yourself to show your friends and mild acquaintances on social media? If they put their phone down for a minute, they could actually live the life they're pretending to have.

Selfie sticks. Any person owning one of these narcissistic contraptions should be paid a visit during the night by the secret police, have their faces burned off with a blow torch, and have the pictures uploaded to Facebook.

I'm glad you've brought up Lush. I fucking detest it, but my youngest loves their stuff. Hence bi-annual visits to buy her some overpriced, over-scented shit, and a free migraine thrown in for me. Any shop that gives you a pounding headache after 2 minutes should be closed by environmental health. And what the fuck is a 'bath bomb' anyway? 4 flaming quid for a smelly lump of shitness that makes your bath scummy. £4 per bath! If that isn't bad enough, they're always full of bits of twig, or dried rose petals, glitter, or some other detritus rendering the bath so filthy that you need to spring clean the bastard every time she's been in it.

It's only when you go away somewhere in the sticks (usually Wales in my case) that has zero phone/internet signal that you realise how addicted you are. The first 48 hours are horrendous, but once you've accepted it, it's a weirdly liberating feeling. I don't feel relaxation like it at any other time.

Anyone else sing "Be arrogant, be clueless, but be happy" in their head when they read that?

Sorry, that was very rude. I'm still the right side of 40, just. Cougar country, or in my case, that tiger with Down's Syndrome.

I had the same thought, once I reached the bit about testicles and festering pustules.

Not as fucking old as you! (But old enough to remember that song).

He certainly feels like Buddy Holly now.

I was talking about the usual anti-Muslim brigade, 'Britain First' lunatics, etc. I don't know whether you fall into that category. My point is, these people use the Qur'an as proof that all Muslims are barbarians, whilst extolling the virtues of Britishness and Christianity, while ignoring the fact that it's essentially the same fairy tale. Your point on the word 'racism' is tedious and pedantic. I was talking about racists. I didn't say they were racist because they hate Muslims. I'm sure they hate all non-white foreigners. You might also want to call them xenophobes, or fascists, bigots, religionists, or just plain cunts. The point is, most Western Muslims follow the Qur'an in the same moderate way Christians follow the bible. Some are more extreme, as are some Christians. Only 1% of British Muslims felt that the 7/7 attacks were justified. If they were really all such an uncivilised people who practised Islam to the letter of the Qur'an, you wouldn't expect that to be the case. ETA: apologies for overuse of the word 'point'. CBA editing.

Racists like to overlook that the Christian bible contains all the same barbaric views on women, gays, slaves etc. Christians have virgins in heaven, can beat their slaves, promote death by stoning of adulterers/people who work on a Sunday/homosexuals. Loads of compassion is shown to the disabled: Leviticus 21:17-24 - "Say to Aaron: 'For the generations to come none of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God. No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; no man with a crippled foot or hand, or who is hunchbacked or dwarfed, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles. No descendant of Aaron the priest who has any defect is to come near to present the offerings made to the LORD by fire. He has a defect; he must not come near to offer the food of his God. He may eat the most holy food of his God, as well as the holy food; yet because of his defect, he must not go near the curtain or approach the altar, and so desecrate my sanctuary. I am the LORD, who makes them holy.' " So Moses told this to Aaron and his sons and to all the Israelites.

I'm loving this thread. We bought a massive shit pit over 2 years ago, for 12 shillings and sixpence (not quite, but it was steal). It's Victorian, 7 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (we got rid of the downstairs one so it's now just a bog) and 3 reception rooms. With 5 kids, we wanted somewhere big enough for them to have a room each, plus one for an office. It was falling to pieces - I don't think it had been decorated for about 40 years. Anyway, we've done the vast majority of it ourselves. Mr T has done most of it, and I've just helped with the decorating and been in charge of restoring all the period features. I've also been allowed free reign on design, which has been ace. We've only got one room left (one of the living rooms) and the kitchen/dining room extension (being done in the spring). I'm dead proud of what we've done on such a tiny budget, it's been really satisfying but hard graft, every spare waking minute. On the flip side, now it's almost done, the kids have buggered off and there's only 2 left here. I'll get some pictures up at some point.

Gone Girl - 6/10. The film itself was alright but ruined by the lazy, ridiculous ending.

Hope you're having a fabulous day lovely! xxx

Dunno, but they've got dead straight hair.

I exist for getting into my pyjamas and having a nice brew and a Kit Kat. It's a vocation.

Phasing out dangerous breeds won't work. You'll just find the current, pussified dogs will start getting all cocky all of a sudden because the hard dogs have all gone. It's like when the fifth years used to leave at school.

Being hungover when you haven't even been close to pissed. I drank 3 glasses of wine last night, over 4 hours. This morning my head is pounding and there's a gang of fat kids breakdancing in my belly. I feel like I've been on a massive bender of yesteryear.

I wouldn't employ a convicted rapist, whether he'd served his time or not (which incidentally in this case, he hasn't. His sentence is complete in 2017, so he's technically still serving it). Just to make it clear, this girl made no allegation of rape at all. She had no memory of any events from the kebab shop till she woke up. He was convicted purely on his own admission that he had sex with her. There was no forensic evidence. He admitted it.

All a bit 'Emperor's New Clothes' if you ask me. It's good to see it's had a facelift, but I'm not really feeling the architectural brilliance. It looks like our old school drama studio.

I did this, and forgot about it. Last week I noticed I'd been paying them 15 quid a month for the past 6 months. £90 for a £2 credit check.

My stepsister put a picture on Faecebook of my nephew, who currently has German Measles. Her mate said "Poor thing, I thought he'd been vaccinated?" My sister replied that he had indeed had his jabs, but the doctor explained that in rare circumstances, kids can still catch diseases they've been inoculated against. Her mate goes "OMG, that's madness! They need to do something about that, like doing something to the vaccine to stop kids catching it".

I feel your pain, Champ. We took my Mum away with us this year. She'd been recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, so the week before we were due to go she announces that she's embarked upon a diabetes diet which is basically vegan, and zero fat. She spent the entire holiday moaning. Everywhere we went, she'd pick up a menu, roll her eyes and tut loudly that there was nothing on there that she could eat, so she'd just have a glass of water. What the fuck did she expect, when she was only allowed to eat plain vegetables and beans? When I tactfully suggested "With hindsight Mum, you'd have been better starting this diet once you got back from holiday", she almost ripped my throat out. I can only imagine that she was in the throes of ketosis at the time. On the upside, she's lost a shitload of weight and her blood sugar is normal now.

I loved how they were all in the house at the end discussing who they wanted to go home, roundly agreeing that they wanted Felipe to get the chop. Cut to Felipe returning to the house, walks in, they all cheer and jump up to hug him. "It's so good to see you back, mate!" Shower of pricks, the lot of them.