Squabblefest

You're right to do most of the jobs yourself to be honest Stumps. If all house holders spent £20 on Amazon on a Collins DIY manual and followed your lead they'd save themselves a fortune over a few years. General upkeep of a property is a piece of piss and if you've got a decent manual, a bit of patience, common sense and a bit of nouse you won't go far wrong. We do property maintenance for landlords. I trained for 4 years as a plumber, then trained for 6 years as an electrician as well. I do inspection and testing for sparking now, but even so, a fair proportion of my work is stuff that anyone with a bit of common sense can do. Us builders may strut round like we're God's chosen few, but anyone with half a brain could do our job. The only difference is experience, that's all that makes, (some of!), us better than the average DIY'er.

Forget it. Just typed a big explanation and then read back and saw you've sorted it. Nothing to see here, move on.

Right, that's mine sorted. Hand fucking painted cover, I shit you not. Fifteen boss tunes and I couldn't even fit 'North American Scum' by LCD Soundsystem on it. Going in the post tomorrow. Cheers again to Juniper for all the admin bollocks, you're a fucking star mate and it is appreciated.

Fucking hell Johnny, what's all that about? You're a top poster on here and, (despite that particular post), you're quite patently a decent bloke but I'd just like to say that whoever's got me can disregard the above advice. If you've got a Nina Simone live bootleg from the 70's, I want a track off it, Ice Cube? bung it on there, The Meters, Guided By Voices, Jeff Buckley, Motorhead? I don't give a fuck, stick it all on there. The tunes that you love that no other fuckers heard? I want 'em. The only thing I want is that you love them, nothing else matters. I'm constantly looking out for new music I'll love or old bands I've missed, if you can give us a couple of tracks that send me scurrying to that bands back catalogues for cd's for my 2 hour drive to and from work every day I'll be fucking made up. And whoever's got Johnny should download 'Bring your daughter to the slaughter' By Iron Maiden and fucking burn that ten times for him. Miserable get.:whistle:

Timecrimes - 8/10. Lovely little lo-fi, sci-fi thriller from Spain. Well acted, great plotting and the type of ending that you immediately turn to discuss with whoever you've watched it with. Less of a headfuck than Primer, it takes Back To The Future's premise but treats it deadly seriously. Donnie Darko without the teenage angst. Enjoyable.

Brilliant news. My little girls just turned three and they've been the maddest, hardest and best years of my life. Congratulations to you an yours Melchett.

I love them both. The British one had the jokes, the spot on characterisation, the really touching love story at the heart, the believability of the characters and was close to perfect I always thought. It's one of those things like Blackadder or Fawlty Towers where it's a pleasure to go back to it every few years to get something different out of it and go through your favourite bits again. The American one, (after a painfully slow start), really takes off and becomes completely seperate to the original during the second series I felt. With British stuff, because it's usually written by just one or two writers and usually around six episodes per series, there's an impetus to hit the ground running. American stuff can take a lot longer to get used to. There's a warmth and a familiarity that you sort of have to 'earn' with the American series, to the degree that I think it'd be difficult to come on board halfway through and also easy to not bother sticking with it if you've only seen a handful of episodes. It also suffers from 'Doctor Who syndrome' where a handful of different writers and different directors means the quality tends to vary an awful lot from episode to episode The British one is very much a character based, sharply observed comedy whereas the American one feels more like a soap opera with fantastic jokes sprinkled throughout. They're both every bit the equal of each other, just for very different reasons I think.

A triumph. Provided he was aiming for sketches that Hale and Pace would've binned for being too unfocused and a stand up routine that combines Jim Davidson's charm with Bernard Manning's penchant for an easy target. Peter Cook said that Manning was, "extremely good at being nasty", and it's a criticism that you can level at Frankie Boyle just as easily. It's such a waste. He seems to have clambered to the top of the attention seeking shockery pile, won all this freedom to do whatever he likes, (obviously within particularly strict parameters. Paedophilia - check, the disabled - check and rape - check. I mean, does anyone find this stuff shocking anymore?), and this is all he can manage? He's undoubtedly a decent comedian, (as his well rehearsed ad-libs on panel shows demonstrate), and there's a few absolute gems of one liners in his stand up shows as well. But this show does nobody any favours.

Anyone negging me should make it clear if I'm being negged for being a sick get, desperately unoriginal or a lazy twat who doesn't even bother reading the other pages before getting stuck in to the captions. Cheers, yeah?

Roy misunderstood Nando's complaint about his training being a massive pain in the balls.

I've just read back a page Dave. Sorry mucker!

Forget it. Dave beat me to it!

All gone by the weekend according to the BBC five days weather report. Heavy rain due on Saturday. So make the most of it, (if you're batshit mental and actually enjoy the fucking stuff that is).

I'm with you Sabs. After NASA sent the voyager satellite into deep space and it reached the one million mile mark, he was the one who suggested they should turn the camera round and take a shot of the Earth. He later wrote this about the photograph. "We succeeded in taking that picture, and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it is everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, they lived out their lives on that pale blue dot. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam. The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity -- in all this vastness -- there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

*Woo looks in * *Woo drops rightful disappointment/haughty disdain bomb* *Woo leaves*

Their Maoism, Taoism, I-ching and chess.

I like their tiny little trees.

"Ninth in the table and you get a nosebleed? You'll fit right in here, son." "He said, 'Would we be together if you were skint?'" Put yer hand up if you wanted Rafa sacked. Roy:"Great balls Joe. BALL sorry, singular." "Poulsen and Lucas. Me fucking neither mate." SG:"Miereles, stay in midfield will yer?" MS:"Piss off, I'm Konchesky."

Ryan Babel reacts badly to the news Twitter is banned from the team coach.

What? You mean United beat an Allardyce team? When the fuck did this happen?

Martin's disturbing shirt/shit tie combo still couldn't disguise the fact he's a top bloke. "Yeah. I've heard them scousers love Lenin. Sorry, what?" The shittest hair at Anfield competition turns ugly. (Dave Usher just out of shot.) Joe Pesci: "You think I'm funny? Funny how? I make you laugh? I'm here to fucking amuse you?" Crowd : "Yes, frankly." Roy inadvertently reveals his number of away wins over the last twenty years. Carlo: " Aah, we're playing shit. Do that lightbulb in the gob thing." Rooney:"Mate. I reckon at least one of these might be mine." JT: "Which one?" "He who laughs last, laughs long.. oh shit."

You might want to give Titanic a swerve as well. I fucking well saw that ending coming.

Paul Hayward in The Guardian today. So riddled with holes it's barely worth demolishing, but I'll post it anyway. It's probably enough to say that when he says 'fansites', on here at least, it's interesting to see that after an initial flurry, the idea was met with the usual irreverent contempt or considered intellectual dismissal, (see Roboriise's superb post on page four for example). A journalist criticising LFC fansites for simple-minded knee-jerk reactions whilst simultaneously indulging in the same. As Bill Hicks used to say, "It's irony on a base level. But it's a fucking hoot." " Once upon a time, Liverpool used to enjoy a reputation, one their supporters would proudly boast about, for not being the sort of club to sack a manager – certainly not after a few months in the job. One or two incumbents in the last few years may have been eased in the direction of the exit door but only after several seasons, never as a knee-jerk reaction. Since Bill Shankly demonstrated the enormous benefits a simpatico manager could bring to the club if allowed to go about his business without interference, the Liverpool way has been to try to appoint the right man in the first place, then back him to the hilt. Either we now live in less patient times or the above model of trust and reciprocity was based on Liverpool always being able to deliver a certain level of success. Six months into Roy Hodgson's tenure several Liverpool fan websites have joined forces to publish the news that in an online poll of more than 4,000 supporters 95% would like to see the manager sacked immediately. The reason? Hodgson is not considered to be "up to the task" of managing Liverpool. There may be other reasons too. Hodgson was unwise enough recently to criticise websites for writing ridiculous things, which is a bit like moaning that the rain is wet, and unsurprisingly took a dim view of supporters chanting "Dalglish" during losing Liverpool performances. If Hodgson is rubbing his new public up the wrong way, the feeling is mutual – though that does not make him a bad manager or even a poor choice for the Anfield job. Hodgson's exploits with Fulham alone suggest the opposite, not to mention his travels around Europe. Purists may have a point in saying he is trying to impose a regimented and overly direct style on the side but simplicity has never been a dirty word at Liverpool. It appears at least as likely that Hodgson finds himself a convenient scapegoat, an easy outlet for a whole set of terrace frustrations, from American ownership to dwindling interest in domestic titles and dropping out of the Champions League bracket. Given that Dalglish has been out of management for more than a decade and was not taken seriously by the board when he put himself forward for the job in the summer, there is no guarantee the former hero could do anything to restore former glories more quickly. Indeed it is almost tempting to hope his supporters might get what they wish for, just to see whose name terrace loyalists would chant were Dalglish to take Liverpool into the bottom three, lose at home to Northampton or take a beating at Stoke. But that would be unfair on Hodgson. Before running out of steam at Wigan, then losing at the Britannia, Liverpool had put together an impressive sequence of four straight wins, including results against Chelsea and Napoli. Most teams would be happy with that, even Chelsea these days, but it was clearly not enough to convince Liverpool fans that Hodgson has what it takes. The feeling is growing that nothing short of leading Liverpool instantly back to the top of the league, which is not going to happen, is going to produce a happy ending for Hodgson here. At the moment he cannot do right for doing wrong. When he spoke bluntly about Glen Johnson, quite reasonably suggesting the full-back could do better, the player took offence and the manager was criticised for his handling of senior internationals, even though most people, including Johnson himself, eventually, could see he had a point. Now Hodgson is attracting flak for failing to promote Dani Pacheco, a 19-year-old Spanish starlet, quickly enough. Not many people have seen enough of Pacheco to have an opinion on the matter: he has appeared in only a handful of games in three years since being lured from Barcelona and one of those was the dismal Carling Cup defeat against Northampton. Hodgson's view is that Pacheco is not quite ready but no sooner had a move back to Spain been mooted than the fans were complaining that all Rafa Benítez's good work was being undone. Even though there was common consent at the start of the season that Liverpool had far too many players who were nowhere near the first team and the squad needed trimming, Hodgson's assessment of fringe players is being questioned. Hodgson says Pacheco had his chance against Northampton and failed to impress. His critics say the manager was naive to send out a raw teenager against a highly motivated lower-league side looking for an upset. In the middle of all this, Hodgson cannot win. Liverpool are in the Europa League, as were Fulham last season, but there is not going to be another thrilling run to the final. Liverpool could easily reach the final but it will not be thrilling. The Europa League is a hollow consolation for a club of their stature. Liverpool would dearly love to be where today's opponents, Spurs, are: rampaging through the Champions League group stage, coming back from two goals down against Arsenal, keeping in touch with the league leaders and worrying their manager might leave for England. They should, though, consider where Spurs have been these past 49 years: not winning the league; nowhere near the European Cup; not even an FA Cup final since Gazza was a lad. Spurs have had to be endlessly patient and for that reason it is hard to begrudge them their success. Exactly the opposite applies to Liverpool and their hard-to-please fans ought to realise it. Plenty of others have waited 20 years for a title too, without two European Cup finals, a Uefa Cup, three FA Cups, three League Cups and regular Champions League football in the meantime. After almost half a century of feasting, Liverpool fans are having to put up with a small famine and everyone has to know about it. You do not have to be Hodgson to feel that a period of silence from them now would be appreciated."

Is (possibly) going on my Secret Santa disc. Currently track 6.

Fucking repped him by mistake and turned him green. Anyone wants to neg me feel free. I am a cunt.