Jennings

Can I play? I am 42, fat and shit.

I am going to pray for god to stop her praying.

Just be yourself....I am sure you will end up on telly ....on the news.

The portuguese make timewasting the spectacle and football a sideshow once they are ahead.

Congrats!

A...ahem...friend of mine contracted one of these ailments. He made an appointment at the STD clinic at the local hospital. Only when he turned up did he realise that he didn't know where abouts the STD clinic was. In fact the hospital is split over several sites, so it was possible he was not even in the correct building. Anyway, he confidently strode up to the enquiries desk. An elderly gentleman was performing the role of receptionist. "Hello", said my friend. Let's call him Dennings. "Hullo", said the old gentleman in a far back and aristocratic accent. "Can you direct me to the STD clinic?" Denings whispered, trying to keep his voice down, as there was an electrician working on the fire alarm system not far behind the elderly gentleman. "THE WHAT?" said the elderly gentleman cupping his hand to his ear. "The STD clinic?" said Dennings still quietly. "STD!" yelled the elderly gentleman confused. The electrician dropped his scredriver and coughed as though stifling a laugh. "Yes." Said Dennings "It stands for sexually transmitted disease." "OH. I THOUGHT YOU MEANT STANDARD. I WAS THINKING...STANDARD...STANDARD...WE DONT HAVE A STANDARD CLINIC." he laughed loudly, "YOU WANT GENITO-URINARY. That way." The electrician had left the room by now, unble to control his coughing. And a queue which had formed behind Dennings all appeared to have caught the cough, as Dennings dejectedly walked past, head bowed.

I have been tossing all round the kitchen - you wanna see the mess. Lemon and sugar. Maybe syrup.

nay oiled

It looks a bit like the second time he goes down, he is trying to make it look like Stevie pushed him.

Nani McPhee

If this was on the GF there would be tons of photos by now. FF disappointment.

Are you Nige's ex?

When I skim the gravy I put the oil down the sink.

I once flew up a tall building and rescued a female news reporter from a crashed helicopter.

"I MUST DRINK THE BLOOD OF A VIRGIN!! Where the fuck will I find one of them in Manchester?"

"How football management has changed! What with taking Andy to see Boyzone, when will I get some sleep...and now Dirk wants to go see Bieber!!"

InBetweeners.

Mereiles Kelly Greek

It's eggist.

Never dabbed. I just swing it around wildly.

Good question. Giggs for me always. I really rate and respect this player. Great work ethic and skills to match. Plays footy the right way.

Wow. I am not fussy but none of them birds would get it. (Not many of the blokes either)

Jennings and the Jenningations?

Well done. Keep us posted.

Happy Birthday Gurt. Do you follow any team based sporting activities? Any particular allegiances? Please share full details. :whistle: