Get Carter

i am with you woo!!! the king of soups

I have about 5 pet hates at the moment. 1) People who drive through the Mersey Tunnels then get to the booth and think "oh yes I have to pay" then spend 2 minutes routing through there car/purse (it is usually women) then realise they dont have the right change for the automatic booth so throw the car into reverse and look at you behind them like your a moron for getting in their way from going to the manned booth (which is usually 7 booths across, so they cut up every fucker as they try to get across!) 2) The staff on Hot Chicken counter at Asda who are never there to serve between 12.00 noon and 2.00 pm (Am i wrong to presume that this is the biggest selling time of the day for 8 Hot Wings). Whilst your standing there starving 2 women on the empty fish counter are standing having a chat about some shite serving fuckin no-one.....so i end up having soup cause i can get that myself.... 3) People who ignore the queue at the self service in Supermarkets and just got straight up to the free till......"oh sorry didn't realise there was a queue as she begins scanning" no love there isn't we are all just standing in a fucking line with our baskets of shopping doing a fucking line dance 4) Useless fuckers in retail shops who know fuck all about what they are selling "oh i dont know" well why dont you know i am looking to buy here and you are about as helpful as a turd in the snow!! Thats my rant for know there are more like escalator etiquette on trains and cash point clowns but i will save them for another time when they have pissed me off.

Cologne is ace. I go every January for an exhibition. Just after we leave there is a festival there, I think its the first weekend in February the theme of it is that the women in Cologne can do whatever they want for that day and i mean anything....A fella i knew stayed on a bit longer one year said its crackers the streets are rammed with people in fancy dress getting pissed from 8 in the morning and the birds just grab you and ram their tongues down your throat and invite you back to their hotel......thinking about it can't understand why i have never stayed longer???

Experienced the same thing at a mates wedding 10 years ago... A few birds came back to our hotel room and as I go in the bog one follows me in and locks the door. She then proceeds to undo my slacks and give me a blow job but says cant kiss me or anything else as she is married??? To be honest if all girls were like this how easy would life be no kissing, cuddling or chat just straight down to a blow job....marvellous

She is a 6 and i am an 8 so they were a bit snug, the point i was making was they are fuckin ace if your feet are freezing but I wouldn't leave the house in them though if my mates seen me i would get torn a new arsehole.

My Birds in the Fashion Game and she reckons the Mens Ugg Boot is going to be one of the biggest lines this year so you better get used to seeing more wham heads in them!!! I must admit i wore hers in the house the other day whilst the heating was off and they are fucking ace i was boiling within 10 mins.

A few years ago me and my mate pulled these 2 birds on a night out in town and went back to mine. Anyway i was upstairs with mine and my mate downstairs with his. I get up the next morning and ask my mate how he had got on! He said he was having a smooch and went to put his hand down her drawers... she stops him and says he cant he apologises and says "is it that time of the month" to which she replies "no its just that i had an abortion on tuesday"... he said it killed the moment!!!

Totally Agree

1. Mourinho 2. Dossena, Babel, Voronin, Riera, Mascherano 3. Parker, 2 wide men and a striker. (I expect the new manager to come up with these on the necessary budget provided thats his fuckin job after all). 4. Player Sales + whatever budget is available.

I am not saying they didn't give it the nod but it was a fuckin no brainer. I don't however believe they had anything to do with the planning and design. I do however think it is ace and the city centre is all the better for it!!

Agreed. I think mancshester council is run by some lord who has no interest personal financial gain or fame and is only interested in doing whats best for the long term future of the city not like the brown envelope brigade who have been running our city for the last 30 years

Council!!! Your fucking joking aren't you they had fuck all to do with it otherwise it would have been a complete bollox. Only way anything is ever done properly in Liverpool is through private investors the Council fuck anything up that they touch. Applaud the Council for accepting £1 billion worth of investment that will bring the city up to date that's a difficult decsion isn't it!!

Fuckin Tool!!!

the racehorse finally won a race at Kempton last night in the 9.20 it came in at 33/1 so any lucky bastards who did it well done!!!

I dont like heights but can cope if i am indoors but if i can feel or hear wind i absolutely shit myself. I went up Sears Tower a couple of years back and it was fine dont know if i could do that Glass ledge shit though. I still shit myself now if I go on a tall slide at a Water Park and have to climb the steps i am fucking delighted to get on the slide just to get off the steps not arsed about the 80 foot drop just get me back on the old Terrafirma!!!

I agree the players earn to much but thats as much down to the stupid fucks running football clubs paying them over the top wages in a desperate bid to stay in the division or win a trophy or appease the fans. My gripe is with the cunts running football who try to increase their already obscene wages by creating a bigger fatter more lucrative league with absolutely no thought for the average fan who has been following a football club for 40 years in the hope that one day they may reach the Premier League (eg Wigan, Hull) only to have some cock say sorry your in the second tier cause we want big clubs like Celtic and Rangers!!! As much as Hull and Wigan and Burnley aren't exactly great television they have as much right in the premier division as anyone and it is what makes our game great!!

From a purely footballing point of view the level of football being played by both Celtic and Rangers is only on a par with Bolton/Burnley/Hull and Stoke

Got introduced to a new beer recently Kasteel Cru Its lager made with champagne yeast (or something like that) its fuckin lovely but i think its 5.4 per cent so another one that blows my head clean off!!

You know what I mean. In the last 10/15 years they have been up and down and soon they will go down again was the point I was making and Gartside knows they have spent considerable money by their standards and that if they were to go into the championship in its current format they would have financial difficulties!!

He wants a two tier premiership to protect Bolton. They are a yo-yo club who at some stage will slip back into the championship (maybe even this year). He wants to protect there finances by spreading the money over 40 clubs instead of 20 and his smokescreen for this is saying get Rangers and Celtic into the Premier League cause they are big clubs. If Hearts and Hibs joined this two tier premier league they would attract bigger gates than Bolton so why not invite them. Sorry about the rants but this rearing its head again drives me mad. Its not broken so leave the fucking thing alone

Why anyone is championing these coming into the Premier League is beyond me. I can understand them 2 wanting to join for the money, but they were happy buying all the english players and taking the piss out of our league in the late 80's early 90's when we were banned from Europe they were to big for us then. So why accept them now!! And what about Hearts, Hibs & Aberdeen because they dont have 60,000 religious morons (who sang through the minutes silence at the weekend by the way) they are not deemed big enough to be invited into this 2 tier Premier League!!! And you cant use Cardiff as an example they where in the English League long before its financial rewards. Why dont they just accept that they are Scottish Clubs in a Scottish League. You dont see Benfica wanting to go into La Liga or Anderlecht wanting to join the Dutch League Fucking Stinks if you ask me

Holy Shit I am going to Buenos Aires in December for 5 days with work, Hopefully I am on the other side of town!!!

Utter Utter Cunt!!! One of them smart arse cunts who thinks he is funny but is just a cunt!! Cant stand the Danny Baker hair-cut twat!!! I would rather watch Bruce Forsyth in stand up than that cunt and i hate that wig-wearing twat