SammyAftershave

Wolf whistle! http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/612/conniehuqgi5.jpg' alt='conniehuqgi5.jpg'> [/img] I know she may be of Pakistani origin but who's splitting hairs?......Phoooarrrr!

I've recently upgraded to a new level and now stay at home with my 'White Lightening' and bicarbonate of Soda. If I feel the need for human contact I simply go the bog and look in the mirror.

'Celebrity Get Me Out of This Top Security Correctional Facility, I've just been Gang Raped again!', with all your favourites boy band/soap stars (or anyone you would really like to see fucked). Vote via phone or text for who you think has been violated most and if they were miming. (provided they don't fix the telephone/text vote, goes without saying that cunt from 'Steps' would win it).

I watched 'Gran Torino' in the company of a bottle of Bell's last night and (despite of it's grating sentimentality) quite enjoyed it, the film that is. I just went along with it for the ride and I found it more enjoyable than most drivel I often finding myself looking at. I think I stayed with some 'Hmong' people up in the hills/jungle on the Laos border about 18 years ago and got off me tits with the shamen on 'lao khaow' (homemade rice-hooch), and despite their protests, sang them some Beatles songs (which they were curiously familiar with) and smoked a truck-load of opium, (the old-fashioned way) lying on your side with a long pipe balanced on a wee stand while watching the hosts prepare the next one. I was advised to smoke no more than two pipes, but being a fit, pissed, greedy fucker, with a couple of baubles in me pocket I went well into double figures while they sagely grinned at me and I grinned back. Come to think of it, they might have been 'Karen' people, as bad as it sounds I don't remember clearly, then again I was off my noggin with the opium. Was I there? Who cares? A solid 7/10

My response to those who are of the persuasion that are fond of the pantomime that is wrestling is to methodically bum them without hesitation (presuming they are of requisite age [and not Mickey Rourke] of course) and have a good nights sleep and dream about the huge fishcakes the chippy at the Rio used to sell.

I really miss eggs when I'm abroad, but then again, I go to some very strange places.

Admirable.

He looks like he's just dropped the soap in the shower (oooer!).

Agreed. I was living in the US 18 years ago when I clocked him playing that particular card while doing a US gig on the 'comedy channel'. Seemed like a cringeworthy, pathetic attempt to get an already sympathetic audience onside. Have always considered him to be a complete and utter twat ever since.

I foresee he may reach the popularity heights of Prince Naseem Hamed. One wrong move and he could be bummed in jail.

It's a bit of a shame that this has the potential of being a very good series, but it is specifically spoiled by the presence of a 'celebrity knob' presenting it. I personally can't get past creasing in unbridled mirth at Ross Kemp. More than having the apparent integrity of the 'Michelin Man', he looks as though he's trying so sincerely to be hard that he looks as though he's about to 'set'. What sort of sounding board does he actually present to a 'gang' member/twat. Taken out of the hands of Sky 'Tabloid TV' and given to an arguably more serious, channel4/BBC2, producer/journalist to front, it could improve immeasurably. They might begin by checking out some of the admirable souls who present 'Unreported World' for instance.

If you can steer clear of slight problem of violent death, I do believe you may enjoy a trip to Brazil. There are 'curves' to be found on women there that may not exist anywhere else on God's green earth. (IMHO)

"I want some peanuts." Homer Simpson

Aye, as funny as watching the fire go out.

Till someone put me right last week, I had no idea who Kerry Katona was.

I just watched a recording of this deep, searching investigation into our current social malaise. As the end credits began to roll the Sky One announcer proclaimed without a hint of irony "Next up, Bruce Willis vests up in Die Hard".

http://img75.imageshack.us/img75/926/shaggerbarki1.jpg' alt='shaggerbarki1.jpg'> [/img] They have a happy hour too.

Fair enough. Personally, I thought 'The Wrestler', for any of it's plot failings, was well worthy of the hoo-ha about the central performance of Mickey Rourke. I can't stand wrestling and am not a particular fan of mickey Rourke but the character of 'Ram' engaged me and I genuinely 'felt' for him and the troubles he had, and when a film 'moves' you emotionally, that's got to be a good thing.

The 'Ladies man' that is: http://img376.imageshack.us/img376/4163/carlostevezws5.jpg' alt='carlostevezws5.jpg'> [/img] Carlos Tevez

I googled 'Spicy Beef Curtains' but only came up with: http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/7829/vestafq9.jpg' alt='vestafq9.jpg'> [/img]

Point accepted but I suggest that, with the possible exception of Fellaini, none of the aforementioned gentlemen are 'full of eastern promise'.

Torah Boy and my good self recently enjoyed a plate of bread and cheesy comestibles in the Everyman over the Xmas season while under the influence several cooking lagers. (How poncey is that?) A most welcome addition to the late-night famished palette. I have also lately had the pleasure of a piece 'Cornish Cruncher' from M&S which I can highly recommend to those that enjoy a wedge of mature stuff. It could quite possibly be the heroin of cheese, in fact, a C.I.L.F. to be sure.

Listen to any music you choose, blow up the image and watch this lady perform. Synchronisation and sweet, perfect harmony. I give you 'The Dance of the Singing Arsehole': http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/2366/danceofthesinginingaie5.gif' alt='danceofthesinginingaie5.gif'> [/img]

http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/4323/c0efb599fe2b5f6b81557admf3.jpg' alt='c0efb599fe2b5f6b81557admf3.jpg'> [/img]

Is that Keith Chegwin he's got hold of?