Brod

Stevie Nicol is my favourite ever. Loved the way he played the game and the way he taught himself to be a two footed player by staying late to practice after he was told he'd be playing left back. Great pro. Kenny is the best with Barnes a close second for me.

Can't get my head round some of the stuff posted about Houllier on here. People taking stories from players autobiographies as fact and trusting to believe rumours about bribes with absolutely no facts to back it up in an effort to besmirch the reputation of a man who took us from a laughing stock to cup winners? It's not doubt that his last couple of years were painful but he gave me the best season of my life. Cardiff twice, Barca, Dortmund, and even the last day at Charlton and I'll always hold the man in high regard for that. Also, the man nearly died but came back to us because he thought it was best for the club. He loved Liverpool and still does. He was a stubborn fucker who used to make me pull my hair out at times but he deserves respect from every red for what he achieved at the club. Ince is a prick, by the way. I hope Blackburn get relegated if I'm honest.

Beasts of England.

My heart bleeds for all you fuckers with a day to waste while I have to piss about in work all day. SERENITY NOW!

They'll be paying a lot less soon when they put you in a dodgy nursing home you senile auld twat. O_o

Daniel Kitson is still very underrated.

Brilliant. I think it was the one in Speke she got hers from. I know it was the only half decent thing she brought home from all the years of bingo tat she accumulated.

My nan got me a signed picture of Joan Ferguson (AKA The Freak) when she was the guest caller in her bingo hall one night. How do you like them apples, fish face?

Finish work at 7. Home for 8. Singapore noodles and red wine. Finally watch 'The Mist' Bed. Up at 6. In work for 7. Shotgun in mouth by 9.

Al Gore.

I used to work in a pet shop but I got sacked for being found with my hand in the trill.

Frozen pasta meal factory. Shoulder to shoulder with sex cases and retards for 10 hours a day. I've never been happier.

Think Stu's been spot on with every thing he's written on this thread. Its stuff I'd like to be able to write but I'd end up just staring blankly at the message box before writing something childish like 'Anal Coleslaw'.

Rainbow Rhythms.

Teenage wank socks.

Has he split up with Gwyneth? Fucking hell, his next album will be a right barrel of laughs.

I once saw Bryan Robson at Watford Gap services and told him to stay out of the womens bogs (from a distance, backed up with my mates) and he replied "fuck off, you".

Ah, right. At least he's not a pervert then.

Surely a 'cat nonce' would shag kittens?

5/14. This maybe why I was sacked from my last job after my boss told me to use elbow grease.

A great put down for any hecklers is one Jason Manford did to my mate: "I don't understand dick heads like you that come to a comedy club and crack your own jokes. I bet you go to brothels and suck your own cock."

Could've been. Maybe in the animal world that's a bad insult. Can just see a cat on his way to work in the morning seeing that and thinking 'cunt' and a few days later one saying 'Dalmations chew pot noodle' springing up near by.

I had the misfortune of being stuck with the high ranking officers for a few months in Basrah. They all gave it the 'Queen and Country' bollocks but the lads on the ground risking their lives every day are in the army or RAF because they had no other options. It was that or dole for most and I've never had so much respect and empathy for fellow human beings in my life than I did for those lads. The biggest problem in Iraq was the fact the country was blown up to fuck but all the jobs of rebuilding it went to American or British contractors. The attitude with a lot of natives was that Saddam was a bastard but at least under him they had a job and could feed their family.