madstock

I think we probably need a Luis Garcia type of player in the squad as opposed to the team, in much the same way as we previously needed a Fairclough in the squad, or a Rosenthal. (Although in a totally different way to Ingerland needing a Hargreaves in the squad). The case for the defence m'lud is as follows: 1. He ain't a winger, but play him in a free role and he frequently takes the piss out of the opposition with fantastic randomness. 2. He tries hugely to track back - although his tackling is a bit (okay, a lot) awry (Was he not the player that committed the most fouls last season?) 3. He plays with a massive smile on his face, and genuinely seems to love the club - he cannot be accused of not giving 100% for the cause. The fact that he is not in the same physical mould as Carra, Finnan or Gerrard sometimes makes this less obvious to onlookers, but he really does give a shit... 4. One of the best songs to originate from the Kop for many a year - who else could we buy of the same quality and indeed height whos name rhymes with "Sangria"? 5. (from the offal) Please don't take our Luis away...

Harry shaded it from Lil Luis in terms of class, however once again Xabi was a joy to watch, and Momo showed how massive he is going to be. Also worth noting that we really miss Crouchy when he isn't there to hold the ball up. Thought Gerrard had a "shackled" performance, and the less said about Cisse the better...

Tesco used to do a "Horseradish Mustard" as part of their Finest range - it wouldn't be something that I would normally buy, as it was about £6-trillion a jar, however they sent it as a substitution for a packet of washing powder or something that I had ordered online, and it was by far the most fantastic condiment ever...

Gotta agree with that, however... Not being ungrateful, or understating GH's great contributions*, I've often wondered how much of a legend Roy Evans would have been if he had retained "sole control", as we were playing some of the most fantastic attacking football ever at the time... *Whilst ignoring his slightly less great contributions...

If a "fan" threw a bear baiter* and a really big box of matches, which would be the lighter?? In truth Motson needs taking to the glue factory - I feel that the beeb only keep him on because he manages to make the word "comfortable" stretch over 87 syllables... *Not a monkey with a knife using obscenities with intent to upset Mr Grizzly , but an actual bear baiter.

As putting on weight and/or mixing food would probably not be top of my worry list I would have a veritable meze containing the following elements (in moderation)... Duck pancakes with hoi sin and spring onion - Bottle of Sancerre Bacon sarnies - 6 pack of Red Stripe Chicken passanda with a keema naan - Bottle of Laurent Perrier Rose champagne* Lamb kleftiko with boiled potato - Bottle of Syrah Rib of Beef and Yorkshire pudding - Bottle of Bolly to finish off. I would probably forgo dessert... *call me gay, I'm about to be electrocuted so I don't give a shit...

1. "Shloer" is very close to "Schlong" in the dictionary. 2. A gentleman who places anothers schlong in his mouth is generally known as a homosexual. 3. Shloer is a puffs drink. Irrefutable logic, and thus fact, methinks. On the subject of beverages I personally find that Red Stripe is the kiddie.

It's a shame you wont go for anything with a "batty man" connection, as Jabber The Butt would be a fine moniker for any young err "homey" ...

Not just right-backs! James, Friedel, Westerveld etc... Looking at that list above, how class was Heggem? Not only was he the spitting image of Jean-Claude van Damme, he always seemed like a top class bloke too. Real shame about his injuries, as the thought of him and Riise playing on opposite sides of defence would have been enough to make a statue leak chism. (Or maybe I am overreacting a little, and we would have been relegated due to a goal difference of -798 caused by our wing-backs playing up front all the time).

I have a real apathy about Darren Bent (same as for Yakubu, actually), but for absolutely no justifiable reason.. He isn't a tosser like Bellamy - his goalscoring record is great - he hasn't been known to wallop his coach or teammates, but there always seems to be "something missing". Really odd... If I had to pick two strikers (assuming that Henry isn't stalling over his Arse future as he is a lifelong Liverpool fan, and can't wait to line up for us when his contract expires), I would probably go for Mido and Nikola Zigic - Mido for the reasons above, and Zigic so that we have someone who can look down at Crouchy.

He's still a Roma player, isn't he?

Mido is an option that could offer good value for money too (as a replacement for Moro, only slightly more mobile) - he is still only 23 and has been really impressive this year.

Nuts, the lot of you...

-------------Pepe------------- -Carra ----- Hyppia ----- Agger -------------Xabi------------- Finnan-------Momo-------Riise ------------Gerrard----------- ----Garcia------Crouchinho---- Flexible (and flexing appears to be the order of the day...), not too sure whether Rafa would chuck in Agger (or if he is even fit at the mo??), but if not chuck Riise back to LB bring on Harry and start with first choice 10 plus Garcia (to score a thunderous hat-trick of really dodgy goals, just to see if Maureens' head will explode...)

"Rain" covered by Madness on the Dangermen Sessions album. The original by Bruce Ruffin was a pretty good track, but the cover was much more "raw". All in all 'tis actually quite a good album, with the likes of Israelites, Shame and Scandal, Taller and I Chase The Devil (aka Ironshirt) standing out, with the real pity being the omission of "It Mek" from the live gigs, which got everyone up and about... In addition to the above UB40 have been churning out "classic covers" (an oxymoron?) for years, and really haven't had the credit they deserve - Many Rivers To Cross, Kingston Town & The Way You Do The Things You Do being right up there. Ooh, nearly forgot the Katie Melua version of "I Think It's Going To Rain Today" is also pretty good, although to be fair I would sit and drool if she was singing me a Summons / Menu / Shopping List etc..

I seem to remember there was a publication by the name of Asian Babes which never disappointed...

Ugliest fans in the world, but to be fair that was a blinding match. (Although not quite up there with Alaves in UEFA Cup terms...).

Vladi looks on in disbelief as Josemi, wearing a Spanish flag, makes it across the line before the ball...

The bit that really worried me about this interview was when Moro said the following: "I have a four-year contract here and I will be running as hard in the last year of my contract as I did in the first year." ... so we can write-off his last year, then...

This thread would strike me as a little bit .. With it's quickfire "To you, to me" banter, I cannot keep up...

Indeed - as the definition of the GF is: ... but mostly about beer, alcohol, movies, love, sex, television, geekness, friendship and women. In fact, just about anything goes. Perhaps if this were the NFF (Non-Football Forum) then the not-so-wise-ass commentator would have a point. I am probably guilty of starting this very thread which is semi-football related in the wrong forum, but would it have progressed this way in the FF, or would it have descended into a "Crouch is shit, sack the chairman, and Rashid is a (insert expletive of choice)" type thread?? Who knows .. who cares ... The one thing I do know is that whenever Henry scores, after the commentator has wiped the jizz off the screen they will always say something along the lines of ".. and that is a typical Henry goal - he cut in from the left and hammered it home - unstoppable..".Yeah, we saw. The keeper didn't. I used to get really pissy whenever Barthez or Blanc were on telly too, as their "kiss on the forehead" ritual would be lovingly retold ad infinitum, usually by Motson.

I'm sure she'll be devastated :tease: Got to agree with the top 3 there though, although Kelly is other-worldly in comparison with t'others

Paul Gascoigne - Only one brain cell Alan Stubbs continues the trend

"Just The Right Kind Of Dirty"