What a wild weekend that was. Goals galore, upsets, controversies, we had the lot.
I’m struggling for the words to sum up what happened at Brighton. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more scandalously undeserved win than that and that’s before I even get into the winning goal that was scored AFTER the final whistle. I’ll get to that penalty incident in due course though.
That was without doubt the spawniest win I think I’ve ever seen though. Brighton absolutely fucking murdered them. They scored twice, had numerous other chances and hit the woodwork five times. FIVE FUCKING TIMES!! Has that ever happened before? It’s incredible just how charmed a life the United goal led.
Trossard was the first to be denied by the woodwork when his left footer from 18 yards struck the post with De Gea well beaten. He was the second one to be denied by it too, when once again he beat De Gea but struck the upright.
I don’t like Trossard but I’m honestly not sure why as I can’t remember him ever doing anything to piss me off. I think it’s his face. He kind of looks like a frog. I know I shouldn’t let something like that define how I think about a person, but what can I say, I’m my mother’s son. She’s hated footballers (i.e. Lallana) for far less than that.
He’s a tidy player though is Trossard and one day the above comments might come back to haunt me if he ends up playing for us.
*checks wiki*.
Yeah that’s not happening as he’s 26 in a couple of months. That’s shocked me as I thought he was only a youngster, or if you like, a tadpole. If he was 21 or 22 then he’d probably be on our radar, but this is as good as he’s likely to get.
Actually I’ve just realized why I don’t like him. He reminds me of a young Nigel Farage. Not his fault, but now I really can’t stand him.
Webster then hit the bar with De Gea again struggling as the onslaught continued. Greenwood thought he’d put United in front with their first attack but a late linesman’s flag curtailed the celebrations and VAR showed that Rashford was offside in the build up.
My boy Lamptey was brilliant again. I discovered him you know, not sure I’ve mentioned that before. I saw him playing for Chelsea at our Academy and I told you all to watch out for him in the Diary. You could say he’s the Stevie G to my Gerard Houllier. No-one else knew he was a star, but I did.
Seriously though, I think he’s been man of the match every time he’s played for them you know. Every week when I see anything online about Brighton he’s the one getting man of the match. He’s such a fucking handful down that right flank. He’s probably not the best defensively but in a three at the back set up you can compensate for that easily enough.
He won the penalty from which Brighton took the lead. I don’t actually think it was a pen to be honest as what is Fernandes supposed to do there? He doesn’t really make a challenge, he’s running toward the ball and Lamptey gets there first and cuts right across him. Clever from Lamptey but I’d be pissed off if a pen was given against one of our players for that as it’s virtually unavoidable.
The flip side of this is that Fernandes is the biggest cheat in the league and has won penalties himself for far less than this, so fuck him and fuck United.
Maupay took the absolute piss with his penalty. He “Panenka’d” the shit out of it and then milked his celebrations too. Came back to bite him on the arse later on, but I’ll get to that shortly. He dinked this one so softly that De Gea had dived and had time to get back to his feet to watch it cross the line.
Lewis Dunk put through his own net to get United level and then we had a moment of real controversy when Connolly was awarded a pen only for VAR to overturn it. Much as I’d like to complain about that, the right decision was made in the end. Pogba has a little pull at Connolly outside the box, but it was nothing really and then Connolly just runs in front of him, grabs hold of Pogba’s shirt and then hurls himself to the floor.
Never a pen in a million years (despite Shearer saying it was, the tit), and Chris Kavanagh reversed his decision after watching the replay. Connolly defo learned that on international duty from Shane Long, as that was right out of Long’s playbook that. Long is just better at it, but then he’s had years of practice.
Rashford then thought he’d put United ahead but VAR ruled him offside. Interesting that Sian Massey-Ellis missed that one. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her get a decision wrong before. I’m not being condescending there either, I think she’s fantastic. To be fair, it was a close one and who knows, maybe without VAR she would have taken the initiative and flagged. It’s going to be increasingly difficult judging the linos now with this “don’t put your flag up” directive they’ve been given.
Rashford did finally manage to stay onside for once not long after and he raced clear to score a superb goal on the counter attack. That’s what you have to watch out for when you play United as other than winning penalties there’s not really anything else they do well. They can play on the break though as well as anyone so you need to watch that and Brighton didn’t.
Connolly then pulled the old Longaroony again, this time on Maguire, but the ref was wise to him now and was having none of it. This one was a slightly more legitimate claim than the one he had earlier but still not enough for a pen.
Brighton were peppering the United goal looking for the equaliser and March made it woodwork number four when his shot went across De Gea only to strike the inside of the far post. Then Trossard completed his hat-trick by blasting an effort against the bar. Unbelievable.
Trossard then had a great chance from six yards out but toe poked it straight at De Gea. Awful miss that one. That felt like it might have been their last chance but incredibly March popped up at the back post five minutes into stoppage time to head in the equaliser.
And that’s when it got REALLY crazy. United went down the other end and won a corner. From that corner Maguire sent a header towards goal but March headed it off the line. The final whistle then sounded, Brighton players congratulated March while Maguire ran to the referee claiming handball.
As soon as they showed the replay I knew Brighton were fucked as that was a clear penalty. There have been loads of bullshit handball pens this season but that’s one that you just can’t argue about. Maupay led with his arm and the ball struck his hand. It clearly impacted the flight and power of Maguire’s header and without that touch maybe March can’t clear off the line?
But the final whistle had gone, so obviously a lot of people weren’t happy about that. Personally I don’t have any issue with that. The offence happened before the whistle went. The ref hadn’t seen it but if VAR is there to look at things the ref doesn’t see then why should it not be used in this instance?
I don’t think Brighton have any cause for complaint there, especially as it’s in the rule book that decisions can be given after the full time whistle if VAR has spotted something. The ref followed protocol and had no choice but to give the penalty.
Where Brighton do have plenty of cause for complaint is in the amount of added time played. They were WELL over the allotted amount of injury time, and even allowing for the Brighton goal and the time it took to restart, this was still pure Fergie-time and the whistle should have gone well before the corner was taken.
Of course Portuguese Gylfi scored the penalty. That’s all he does, the fucking one trick pony. I don’t think he’ll ever miss one as he’s great at them (it worked with Jorginho so I may as well give it another go). Of all the players at United he’s the one I can’t stand the most. Him and that cunt Maguire.
This was United’s strongest line up and they were fucking shite. In fairness, I do think their (brief) involvement in European football at the end of last season is playing a part in how bad they look. Its not just them. Look around Europe and virtually all of the teams who were involved in the CL and Europa knock out games are suffering at the moment. Even Bayern lost 4-1 at the weekend, and that never happens.
So that’s part of it, and the United we are seeing currently is not a true reflection of where they’re at. They’re not this bad, unfortunately. Of course they’re not particularly good either.
I felt sorry for Brighton but United winning games in this fashion does not bother me. They aren’t a threat to us and while I always enjoy seeing them lose, if it happens too often they’ll eventually see Solskjaer for the “Norwegian Lampard” he is and they might actually appoint someone good. None of us want that to happen, so if it takes some more flukey wins like this to extend Ole’s stay at the wheel then sign me up for it.
Final note on this. Rashford wore a mask in his post match interview. Not because he needed to as nobody else does. He’s behind a screen so it’s not necessary at all. He’s obviously done that to set an example and make a point. He’s such a good lad, Manchester United fans should be proud of him. Loads of them aren’t, because Tory Tory Man United.
When the cunts are allowed back in they’ll still be singing about unemployment and how “you look in the dustbins for something to eat”. That’s probably why Rashford gets so much shit off his own fans any time he tweets about starving kids. “Fucks sake Marcus, if we get rid poverty and unemployment what are we gonna taunt the scouse bastards with?”.
Anyway, moving on. West Brom v Chelsea was another cracker of a game. The Baggies picked up their first point of the season but they’ll be kicking themselves they didn’t get all three.
Willy Caballero was in goal for Chelsea as Fat Frank threw Kepa under the bus. As I said in the Chelsea match report after we beat them, that second goal was on Lampard, not the keeper. If you want your goalie to continually pass it around in his own box then eventually he’s going to get caught and when he does, as a manager you need to be big enough to accept the blame for it and protect your player.
The only thing big about Lampard is his head. And his belly. Ok, not really, but that’s what makes the whole Fat Frank thing so great. Imagine having been called fat for your entire adult life even though you’re as fit as butchers dog. Apparently he really hated the “Fat Frank” thing which is why it stuck.
There’s not enough of this type of thing. If I was a player I’d be ripping team-mates all the time with bullshit insults. I’d be calling Shaqiri “Lurch”, Virgil would be known as “baldy bastard”, Matip would be “short arse”, Alisson would be “Quasi Modo” or “ugly bastard” and I’d be calling Sadio “ginge” or “fanta pants”.
Nothing will ever top “Fat Frank” though, it’s just an all timer. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the goalies. Caballero is just as shite as Kepa and seems to have made an entire career out of winning a penalty shoot out for City against us, the fucking slaphead.
Hilariously, Chelsea found themselves 3-0 down by half time and with no Kepa to blame for it. As it was, it was annother Spaniard carried the can and became Lampard’s latest scapegoat.
Robinson opened the scoring after three minutes with a shot across goal into the corner. A better keeper saves that, although the real main guilty party was Alonso who inexplicably headed it straight to a West Brom player.
Robinson added a second soon after when Thiago Silva was caught in possession on his debut. You’re not in Kansas anymore Dorothy. You don’t get that kind of time on the ball over here lad.
Bartley made it 3-0 with a tap in from a corner and Chelsea were in complete disarray. Alonso and Kovacic were replaced at half time and Alonso reportedly tried to watch the second half on the team bus rather than on the bench with the rest of the squad.
After the game Lampard lost his shit about that and an inside source was quoted saying:
“The players were saying they have never seen the manager like this. It kicked off after the game and he was going mad at Alonso. Some were talking about how they’d be surprised if he plays for Chelsea ever again.”
Alonso has a clear case of the “fuck ems” after they signed Chilwell and he obviously wants out now. The problem was that Lampard had already fallen out with Emerson and was trying to fuck him off, and now he’s had to make up with him so he can get shut of Alonso. It all seems to be unravelling there.
As the pressure grows Frank’s true colours are beginning to show and he’s turned into a fat version of the Wealdstone Raider, picking fights with everyone. “You want some?”
It would have been much worse if they’d lost the game, but they came roaring back and got a deserved draw.
Mount started the comeback with a shot from distance that the keeper just stood and watched go past him. Awful that. It wasn’t even right in the corner but he just didn’t see it coming until it was too late. Never heard of that keeper but I’ve already decided he’s shite just based on this goal alone.
Hudson-Odoi pulled another one back with what was only his second ever Premier League goal. A £180k a week forward and he’s scored two fucking goals?? Nice work if you can get it like. I hate how football has gone with regard to how much agents are being paid, but whoever is representing Hudson-Odoi has earned his pay by hustling Chelsea into paying that.
Chelsea piled on the pressure and eventually, three minutes into stoppage time, Abraham scored from a yard out to snatch a point. Interestingly, the ball came off the hand of Havertz in the build up but unlike last season this is now not an offence unless it leads directly to a goal.
The ball clearly hit him on the arm, albeit completely unintentionally, but because West from then had a chance to clear and failed to do so, it is no longer enough to cause the goal to be chalked off. The fucked up thing now is that if a defender had done that it would now be a pen. It’s gone full circle.
West Brom look a poor team defensively but they’ve got some nice attacking players. Perreira is great to watch and the kid they got from West Ham is lively. They’ve got their work cut out staying up but I don’t think they’re anywhere near as much of a certainty to go straight back down as Fulham are.
Chelsea lost to Spurs in the cup a few days later as Lampard was throwing his considerable weight around on the touchline again while showing a lack of respect to a rival manager who has won far more than he ever will. Yeah, Mourinho’s a twat but I’m taking his side over Lampard all day these days. I wouldn’t have not so long ago, but that incident on the touchline at Anfield a few months ago really showed Lampard in his true light.
They had a row in the technical area and Mourinho completely destroyed him by referencing the West Brom game and saying “fucking hell, Frank. When you’re losing 3-0 you’re not standing up here!”
He later clarified it with the most condescending, patronising explanation in his press conference. It’s funny as fuck, just watch…..
So THAT is what happened between Mourinho and Lampard last night pic.twitter.com/wNZ7ECaCNB
— Goal (@goal) September 30, 2020
The bit about him being “sad and quiet in his chair” is hilarious. He’s blatantly taking the piss out of him while pretending it’s all done out of love. The biggest touchline mis-match since Lampard tried to take on Klopp.
I don’t beIieve Lampard’s claim about what he said back to him though. I reckon his response was more along the lines of “fackin this” and “fackin that” and “won 22 major trophies and you’re giving’ it the big ‘un”.
Deluded prick. It’s funny because for a good while there I was thinking that Lampard was alright and I was struggling to find reasons to dislike him. He seemed like a top fella, but then the mask slipped and now you can see on a weekly basis what a spoilt, petulant little shit he is. The only thing that cunt is winning this year is the sack race.
Another farcical handball penalty resulted in Everton winning at Palace. Honestly, whoever has come up with this bullshit rule change needs the living shit kicked out of them. What is Joel Ward supposed to do there? I used to go mad when Albert the Moron would have his hands behind his back in the box all time. I hated it and ripped him to shreds for it. Turns out the poor lad was actually way ahead of his time. Sorry Alby!
Now you need to have your hands behind your back all the time otherwise this shit is going to happen. Richarlison headed it from point blank range and it hits Ward on the hand. When you watch it in normal speed it looks like nothing. In super duper slo mo it looks like something, and that’s part of the problem with these decisions.
Maybe when they’re reviewing these things they should only watch at normal speed, because it’s only then you can see that Ward can literally do nothing about it and while his arm is away from his body he’s not in an unnatural position and he’s not seeking to ‘make himself bigger’ to block anything.
Everton played alright though and so did Palace. It should have been a draw but the only difference between the sides was that fucking terrible penalty. I’d like to blame the refs for this shit but it’s not their fault. They’re doing what they’ve been told to do.
Mark Halsey said this week that if he was still refereeing he’d ignore the instructions and apply the law with common sense. Easy to say when you’re making a living from being controversial in the media and not with a whistle in your mouth. If he was still refereeing he’d tow the party line like the rest of them because otherwise he’d be out of a job. No wonder all the other refs hate him.
So anyway, the net result of this was that the Blues have won three in a row and were briefly top of the table until first Leicester and then those pesky Redshite leapfrogged them. Nevertheless, it’s a 100% start for the Toffees but to their credit they’re not getting carried away.
Well, not much anyway. I mean, sure, a quick look at the iTunes chart does see them occupying four of the top seven spots and their official Twitter account was this week throwing shade at Miley Cyrus after they knocked her off number one, but other than that they’re not getting ahead of themselves too much.
Last time they made a start like this they brought out a DVD called “Off to a Flyer”. I’m not even taking the piss, they actually did that. Look…..
It’s things like this which has virtually made my number one skill in life utterly redundant now. No-one made Everton look more stupid than I did. Until Everton themselves kept raising the bar so high that I could no longer match them.
I suppose you could liken it to how African-Americans took back control of the ’N’ word. Everton have done the same thing with piss taking. Nothing I can say can ever be funnier than their every day antics. They’ve completely taken back control as they’re much better at getting people to laugh at them than I ever could be.
I know when I’m beaten. Imagine if one week ago I’d said “if they win another game they’ll flood the charts with all their old 80s cup final songs and they’ll be taking shots at Miley Cyrus on Twitter”. I just can’t come up with anything that funny even in my wildest dreams, but they did. Fair play. I almost want them to continue winning just to see how far they can take this.
Next up Southampton at Burnley, or “the Danny Ings Derby”. Fittingly it was Ings who settled it with an early goal on his former stomping ground.
Ralph Hassenthwrththehwel finally put the God awful Jack Stephens out of his misery and brought back the giant Vestergard, who isn’t much better in all honesty. Still, they got a clean sheet, mainly because you can play that suicidal high line against Burnley as they don’t have Son Heung Min running in behind it constantly and they don’t have anybody with the vision and ability of Harry Kane to pick out those runs. Binning Stephens off definitely helps though.
Chris Wood took a blatant dive in the box and Sean Dyche got a cob on that they weren’t awarded a penalty. Next time he gets on his soap box about diving someone should point this one out to him. Not that he admitted it was a dive. Far from it.
"It would have been a soft penalty but we've seen how soft penalties are given in the Premier League.”
So basically his argument is that “Yeah it’s not a pen but sometimes bad decisions are made so why can’t we get a bad decision here?”
"I think the honesty of our players to try and do the right thing - he [Wood] is trying to stay on his feet to receive the ball in the box, he gets a push in the back and goes down. We all know players get less of a push and go down in a more lively manner and get penalties.”
This is as bad a take as you’ll hear from anyone this week. Wood was not trying to stay on his feet at all. He was pulling the arl Didi Hamann stoppage time flop, only the defender doesn’t push him at all. He barely even came into any contact with him. It was just a blatant dive.
Dyche also had the hump about a disallowed goal for Wood. The linesman flagged early instead of letting it go, but he was offside. The exact same thing happened at the other end when Ings thought he’d grabbed a second but he was offside too. The two linesmen were right on their game in this one but apparently even getting decisions right is not enough to stop managers bitching.
“He (the ref) just said he shouldn’t have blown up. It's not that acceptable when you think that we've been specifically told to make sure your players play through every moment. So we did, scored a goal and, lo and behold, the linesman flags, he blows up, gives offside. I don't know whether he was offside or not, it's a close one."
Technically he shouldn’t have blown up, but it was offside, so why cry about it and make out you were hard done by? If he wasn’t offside then yeah, you’d have every right to be pissed off about it. But he wasn’t, so pour yourself a nice big glass of shut the fuck up juice.
Onto Sunday now and it was another day when it was absolutely raining goals. Wolves were on the receiving end of a shocking result at West Ham which I’m putting down to the European Football factor. It can’t be a co-incidence how so many of those teams who played in Europe are looking like dogshit right now.
Wolves were good last season and a lot of people fancied them to do well this year. I still do. I expect them to be pushing hard for the top six but it’s not a good look when you get spanked by West Ham. How do you explain that one? Like I say, it has to be related to their lack of a pre-season. Or it could be that West Ham were great because Moyes wasn’t there as he’s got Covid?
West Ham played really well although their opening goal shouldn’t have stood as they took a free-kick from the wrong place and it looked like the ball was moving. Great finish by Bowen though. Bowen got the second too with a rebound after a shot by Fornels had come back off the post.
Soucek headed in the third. Of course he did, cunt seems to score a header every week. If I was one of those fantasy football playing losers he’d be one of the first names on my team sheet. No offence to any of you fantasy football playing losers reading this by the way.
Update: the goal was taken off Soucek and put down as a Jiminez OG. If I was one of those fantasy football playing losers I’d be doubly fuming as I’d have Jiminez in my side too.
Haller headed in goal number four and the crazy thing is the score didn’t flatter West Ham at all. They should have scored more. I didn’t even see my boy Adama when I was watching the highlights. I had to check the line ups and it seems that he started the game in the front three but was subbed.
There’s two schools of thought on him. There’s the one that says he’s over-rated, doesn’t do enough and is basically a bit of a fraud. Then there’s the correct thought that says he’s sensational and just needs to be in the right set up with the right team-mates around him and he’d be virtually unplayable.
I did think that set up was ours but then we signed his team-mate Jota instead, and now there’s no room at the inn for Adama and his big beefcake frame. I can’t see him being at Wolves much longer though the way he’s being messed about by them.
It is weird how often he either starts on the bench or gets subbed. If anyone wanted to buy him Wolves would demand at least £80m for him, yet they don’t treat him the way you would an £80m talent. If he’s worth £80m why you keep subbing him or playing him at wing back?
Here’s a hot take for you and it probably won’t be popular, but fuck it I’m going to say it anyway. Conor Coady isn’t very good. There. I said it. He’s shit. He can’t defend and he’s slow as fuck. The only reason people think he’s good is because he plays in a back three so he’s not isolated too much, and because he can spray the ball around as well as anybody.
The clamour for him to be in the England squad makes me laugh because these same clowns (Adrian Durham being the clowniest) calling for it will be the first to slate him when he plays in a back four for England and gets his pants pulled down by the first decent forward he faces.
The reason I bring this up is because my Dad thinks he’s boss and would happily see us sign him back. I had to take issue with that and point out that he’d be a disaster playing for us because he’d be exposed in one v one situations all the time and he couldn’t cope with it.
You’re probably wondering what my Mum thinks. Well she doesn’t have any football opinion of Coady, but she tore into my Dad about it anyway because “Noooooo we don’t want him. He’s a cocky little thing. Loves himself.” Agreed.
Next up, Spurs against Newcastle. Funny as fuck how it ended but leaving aside personal preferences and how amusing it always is seeing a Mourinho meltdown, once again you have to say that penalty was a fucking disgrace.
Spurs deserved the points as they were by far the better side. It looked like they’d get them too thanks to Moura’s goal midway through the first half. They didn’t add to it (although Son hit the woodwork twice before going off injured) and then in stoppage time the ball inadvertently struck the arm of Dier from point blank range and once again we saw a penalty given.
Even Steve Bruce was pissed off about it. What makes this even more of a joke is that exact same thing had happened not long before. Carroll won a header and the ball hit the arm of Dier who had his back to him. No penalty for that, but when virtually the same thing happened again they gave a pen. I don’t get it at all.
Good away point for Newcastle though, albeit totally undeserved. I don’t have the stats to back it up but my impression of footy with no fans is that home advantage now isn’t really an advantage at all. It’s almost as though every game is being played on neutral grounds these days, which I suppose they kind of are.
The Yorkshire Derby between Leeds and Sheffield United was a decent game even though it was the lowest scoring game of the weekend, along with the games at Turf Moor and White Hart Lane (sorry, I’m not referring to it as anything else).
Leeds won this one with a late header from my boy Bamford. I say header but he admitted afterwards that it came right off his nose. They all count kid, I scored one with my nose too back in the day. Pretty sure I’ve told this story before but I’ll do it again as not all of you will have read it the first time around.
So I’m about, I dunno, 13 maybe? Possibly younger. Playing on a Sunday morning for my team and we were shite. We lost most weeks and I was top scorer with about five a season. So I’m chasing a bouncing ball into the box but I’ve got no pace and the defender beats me to it. He tries to clear it and smashes it straight into my face.
I hit the deck, the ball hits the net and my team-mates all run over to celebrate with me. I’ve got blood coming from my face. It was either my nose or my lip, possibly even both, I don’t remember. What I do remember is making my way back to halfway for the kick off, crying, and seeing my Dad on the touchline laughing his fucking head off.
So yeah, me and Bamford have that in common as well as our impeccable taste in music. He listens to Bon Jovi to motivate himself before games while I do it to motivate myself for these Round Ups. That’s three goals in three games now for a lad who everyone (except me and his mate JBJ) had written off. He’s given Leeds a real Bounce to start the season and if he keeps this up then he’s gonna Runaway with the Golden Boot.
Sheffield United played some nice stuff but that’s three losses for them now and no goals scored yet. They’ve got a few key injuries too. They need something to spark them soon. Maybe it’ll be Rhian Brewster? I hope they start picking up points soon as I find them refreshing and their fans were sound at Anfield last season. They’re away at Arsenal this weekend so that would be a nice place to start, especially as we’ve softened the Gunners up for them.
Great start for Leeds though who now have six points. Their keeper had a blinding game and one first half save to deny Lundstram was sensational. No idea who he is but he looks about 12. They do look suspect defensively but with my boy scoring for fun they’re going to be a handful for anyone. They’ve got City next and we saw what Leeds can do when they’ve got space to play in. City will defo give them space, so that will be one to watch this weekend.
Speaking of City though, just what the fuck happened at the Etihad? Mental, but incredibly funny wasn’t it?
City took an early lead through a brilliant Mahrez strike and then it was just carnage. Vardy completely destroyed them. If you’ve been paying attention you’ll know I love watching Vardy play, I think he’s phenomenal. He’s probably my favourite non-LFC player. He’s great, he’s the closest thing I’ve seen to Ian Rush since Rushy hung it up. He’s just so fucking sharp and fast and clever.
He won a penalty when he got on the wrong side of Walker and drew him into a foul. He buried it emphatically too.
Rory Delap’s kid was brought on for Fernandinho five minutes into the second half. It was a tactical move and the game was 1-1 at the time. Well that worked out nicely, eh Pep? What a genius he is.
Vardy soon made it 2-1 with a lovely little flicked finish at the near post. Love goals like that because I scored hundreds of them. Not even lying, I scored goals like that every week at TLW Thursday night footy. In fact, it should be named after me, like a “Panenka” penalty or a “Cruyff Turn”. That type of goal was my trademark. That and great hair.
Anyway, soon after it was 3-1 as Vardy sneaked in behind Garcia and drew another foul. Again, he buried the penalty with aplomb. A screamer by Maddison after coming off the bench made it 4-1 and City were in complete disarray.
It almost feels like City aren’t even trying anymore. I mean fucking hell, they had a free-kick on the edge of the box and they let Sterling take it while De Bruyne stood and watched. What the fuck? Sterling?? Really? He’s literally the last person on the pitch I’d want over a dead ball. They’d have been better off letting Ederson take it. Actually he’d probably be great at them as he’s much better with his feet than he is with his hands.
Ake pulled a goal back but Leicester just went up the other end and won a third penalty when Maddison channelled his inner Vardy and got in behind Mendy who brought him down. Vardy wasn’t on the field at that point so Tielemans took the pen and scored.
Can you imagine how smug and self satisfied Brendan will have been after that? I’m surprised his head even fit through the dressing room door, it’ll have been that swelled up he’ll have looked like a Corinthian Figure..
Tell you what’s mad though. Guardiola has spent £400m on defenders alone, never mind the rest of their squad, and yet Leicester had a stronger looking bench. I know City have some injuries but their team and squad just doesn’t look particularly strong anymore. They’ve almost turned into what we were for most of Stevie’s career. Only it’s De Bruyne in the Gerrard role for them. They’re virtually a one man team at the moment.
Of course they took this loss with their usual good grace. Rodri came out with all sorts of nonsense but I’ve gone into that in this week’s diary so I’ll say no more on it here. I’ll just concentrate on the bald fraud instead, who was talking complete Zlatan after this. “Leicester didn’t try to play” apparently. “They only wanted to counter attack” and blah blah blah. Mate, shut up. You lost 5-2 and you were tactically outsmarted by Brendan Rodgers.
City are so predictable now that even Brendan, a man who NEVER compromises his style and belief of how the game should be played, even he knew that the way to beat City is to sit in, nick the ball off them and then break with pace. It’s taken him longer than most to figure it out, but even he knows how to exploit City’s weaknesses.
Guardiola can’t handle it. He’s used to having his own way and we are seeing now that when things are going against him he’s completely lost. He isn’t signing a new contract, their squad has cracks all over the place and when you actually analyse his record in the transfer market it’s fucking pitiful.
Most of City’s best players were there before he arrived and age has either caught up, or is catching up with a lot of them. The replacements haven’t been anywhere near as good and they’ve wasted millions on shite.
I can tell you already before he’s even kicked a ball that this Portuguese defender they’ve just signed will be fucking rubbish, because if he was any good he’d be at Wolves. Unless he’s the only Portuguese player on Earth not represented by Mendes.
Hilariously, City fucked up the announcement of his signing. Their website made the following announcement:
CITYZENS: NEW SIGNING - Ask Kalidou Koulibaly a question.
and
CITYZENS: NEW SIGNING - Win a Kalidou Koulibaly signed shirt
Someone will be having their hands chopped off for that. Great though isn’t it? Welcome Ruben Dias! Sure, we wanted Koulibaly and we had all the marketing stuff ready for him until he signed a new deal with Napoli, but you’ll have to do. Still, welcome!
Also, they actually refer to their fans as Cityzens? That's actually a thing? Forget all the FFP breaches, they should have their titles stripped from them just for that.
He’s on a hiding to nothing that Diaz lad though. He’s not even particularly highly rated based on reports coming from Portugal, but even if he’s not shite he won’t make a blind bit of difference to them. Yes their defence is shite but it goes well beyond that. It’s not just about them.
Stones and Otamendi were crap even when City were getting 100 points but back then it didn’t matter because most opponents couldn’t ever get in their half to put them under any pressure. Now most teams can, and the ones who are able to take their chances are having a lot of joy against them.
City have lost ten of their last 38 league games, yet they were still, somehow, favourites for the title this year. I feel like Klopp hasn’t lost ten league games in the whole time he’s been here. I know he has, but most of them will have been in the first year. Yet so many ‘experts’ were tipping City.
It’s only taken three games (and just two for City) for that to change. We’re favourites now but it was laughable that we weren’t when the season kicked off. I heard Carlton Cole on the radio this week saying he tipped City for the league but now he’s changed his mind and is going for Liverpool. What kind of knee jerk shite is that? We beat Arsenal and City lose to Leicester and all of a sudden they’re all jumping ship and distancing themselves from their “City will be too strong” hot takes that were never based in any kind of fucking reality anyway.
The Leicester result doesn’t change my opinion on City. I still see them exactly as I did before this game. In fact, I’d even put forward the argument that this game should almost be disregarded because of their late start due to their (brief) involvement in European competition.
As I said with United and Wolves too, teams who played in Europe at the end of last season are struggling badly, but in a few weeks they’ll have all caught up fitness wise and we’ll have a better idea of where they’re at.
I don’t know where City will be at, but I do know that come May they’ll be a lot closer to United, Chelsea, Spurs and Arsenal than they will be to us.
Finally, Monday night. Apparently here was a game before we took Arsenal to school in the later fixture. I didn’t see it, didn’t know anything about it until now. The only reason I even know about it is because I’ve just checked through and noticed that I’d only mentioned eight games and not nine.
So, last and very much least, Fulham were spanked 3-0 by Villa. I’ve watched the highlights on youtube and Fulham’s defence is every bit as bad as advertised. Villa ended last season well and they’ve picked up where they left off. They’ve got McGinn back from injury now and with him, Grealish, Barkley and Douglas Luiz in midfield that’s a pretty good line up.
The defence and forwards aren’t as strong but I don’t see Villa having to fight as hard to stay up this year as they did last, unfortunately.
As for Fulham, what’s the fucking point of them? They’re already down. Their owner put out a public apology to the fans for the performance and assured them that they’ve been trying to sign centre backs and are still looking.
That pissed off Scott Parker who said “It’s not something I agree with and it’s not helpful. The one thing I’m disappointed in is him apologising for the performance.” Parker feels like his players are giving all they have, and they probably are. They’re just shite and there’s not much they can do about that.
They signed Ademola Lookman this week, which isn’t going to make a blind bit of difference. Remember when Everton fans were hating on Allardyce for not picking him? He went on loan to Leipzig and did fuck all and now they’re loaning him to Fulham. If he couldn’t get in that terrible Everton team then he was clearly shite and he’s not going to help Fulham much when the thing they really need is a new defence. Tim Ream *shakes head*
Parker having a public spat with the owner isn’t likely to end well for them though. Him and Lampard should do a job swap as they’re basically the same anyway. Who’d even know the difference from watching the teams play? Neither of them have a clue at how to stop goals going in.
Ok you know what, that comparison is a bit unfair on Parker because he actually managed to get his team promoted from the Championship, unlike fatso.
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