Clowes

Fuck me what a depressing thread. My mate has been with the same girl for 20 years. he recons it's once every month for them. He also says he struggles to get it up unless she's wearing all the sexy gear as well. He has one kid. I think a lot of women don't really like sex it's something they do when a they want something or b they want something

More power!!

She fit. Bet she's dead posh though. India is a posh name. Won't be from some council estate thats for sure.

1) accountant 2) architect 3) solicitor Not a planning officer. Fuck me I was engaged to one of them... Fucking worse than teachers for having to be right all the time

I'd do her up the arse as well and wipe it on that white dress of hers.

She deserves pity. She knows only what she has experienced in life which is privilege and wealth. I would do her up the arse and wipe my shitty cock all over that nice white suit.

It could be true - if it is I would expect a response like that, well until the deal was signed sealed and delivered anyway. I don't think any fan would be arsed about them going. They're not exactly interested in us and they aren't prepared to put any of their own money in to make he club genuine title contenders. Th only good thing that have done is rationalise the debt and make us easier to sell.

Find a nice friendly family loving guy in work. Wait for him to go to the toilet then use google on his computer to search for "hot anal child porn". Anonymously tip off hr and the police that you think he's a bit of a peado. Then sit back and laugh as he is sacked from work, arrested, his wife and kids leave him, his friends and family disown him, his house gets fire bombed and then he is found 6 months later hanging from a tree in a remote woodland.

She's now thinking of all the benefits she can scrounge after she divorces him and takes him to the cleaners. Just love all the mental old biddies yapping on about they've never been so excited in all their lives at the news of the royal birth. I hate subservient cap doffing people more than I hate the royals and the conservatives.

Fucking hell Strontium Dog!! I remember reading that when I was a kid. 200ad wasn't it? I preferred Ro-busters myself though.

Yeah I know. It's actually quite therapeutic being able to tell a bunch of strangers about it. It put me off women totally for about 6 months. It was fucking horrific. Not into anything like that at all and to this day I have no fucking clue whatsoever by what she meant "I thought this is what you wanted"!!! I thinks she must have been mentally ill or something, although you would never have guessed from what she was like in work etc.

Ok This sounds like good fun. :-) About 6 years ago I was working with a girl about 10 years younger than myself. We got on really well and eventually started flirting with each other. This came to ahead on a works do near Christmas time. We had both had a bit to drink and she just a came out and asked me "when are you going to fuck me then?" I laughed it off for a few minutes assuming it was just the drink until she discretely put her hand on my cock and gave it a proper good grope (just as well nobody else was outside at the time. I wasn't sure what to do as she seemed quite drunk at this stage so I politely said we'd talk about it tomorrow. She smiled and said about time. Well tomorrow came and my bottle went, just couldn't bring myself to call her, started to assume it must have been the drinkafterall when I got a text message from her. " I thought we were going to talk? Come to my house, please please please!" Ok fair enough it was a Saturday so I thought fine go and see what happens. I tell her ill go round for 4.30 she sends text all excited, "you want regret this...I promise". At this point I'm thinking its still some sort of wind-up. So I get there and the front door is very slightly open. I ring the door bell. She calls out to e is that you Micky?, yes it's me I reply. Just come in and shut the door. I'm upstairs. Can you come up I'm in the bathroom. I get up stairs and the bathroom door is open and she is stood in front of the mirror putting her make up on .and I kid you not she was wearing the full month. Black high heels, stockings, suspenders and very sexy little black knickers and bra. Go into the bedroom ill be in in a minute. Fuck me I couldn't believe this. Off I go to the bedroom, open the door thinking this is going to be awesome. And that's when it hit me.....the stink. What the fuck?? The bedroom was a fucking mess and it stunk of shit. Too late .. She's behind me now all over me so I try and put the stink out of my mind. She quickly starts to undress me as she is sucking my face off. She briefly stops to take a big gulp of the wine that I hadn't noticed on the bedside table. I remember thinking she smells lovely how can her room smell likea fucking sewer?? I'm naked know and on her bed. The sheets didn't look clean and werea bit minging but not the source of the smell. She wastes no time she straddles me in a 69 position her on top and proceeds to attack my rock hard member with gusto.every time I go to pull her knickers to one side to return the favour she reaches back with her hand and stops me just saying wait , wait. Ok I'm just about putting the smell out of my mind when I hear something, in amongst the moaning from her. She farted, was that an accident, surely it must have Been... Nope she stopped sucking my cock arched her back and did it again. This time edging ack towards my face. What the fuck, that's disgusting! I tried to move but I thought she was starting to have an orgasm (strange because she hadn't let me touch her) its coming oh god don't move please this is for you. Then I had my answer.. Her knickers bulged at the back as she shit herself 6" from my face. Before I could do anything she reached around a using her fingers pushed her knickers up her arsehole spreading her shite everywhere. I pushed her off calling her all the fucking names under the sun. She looked genuinely upset and started to cry and apologise . I stood up and said I wasn't interested in stuff like this and that this was a total mistake for both of us. At this point I noticed I had stood in something semi dry and a little squelchy. I looked down to see I had trodden in another pair of her shit filled pants that she had just left inthe floor amidst all the other crap she had just thrown there. I got dressed after washing my foot in her bathroom (which was spotless btw) all the time she was crying hysterically saying I though that's what you wanted?? Wtf! I told her she need help and had to see somebody, just not me! By this time she was a shitty, stinking, snotty, shambeling teary mess. I told her not to worry as I wouldn't tell anybody in work what happend. I left and dreaded Monday morning. Well Monday came and surprisingly she arrived in work and acted as if nothing had ever gone on, even when we were alone I asked her if she was ok? Yes fine how are you ? Was the reply! I was a gent and never mentioned it to anybody else in work even after she left to go and live up north. To this day hat is the most sexy, disgusting, sickening thing I have ever been involved in. And no I wouldn't do it again its fucking awful.

What's a decent average speed for riding a hybrid? I've just started cycling and have down 18 miles on the road with an average of 12.5mph

I'd rather jack

Somewhere in hell jimmy is looking up at you and sadly shaking his head.

I don't know you (obviously) but you look like a really nice man to me.

Ha ha no sorry just disappointed at not signing our top summer target.

Morning. Sorry about that. One too many pints !

Hello I'm gutted nice to meet you. Fuck off fuck off fuck off. Lfc are shit :wallbutt:

Aren't they a Firm of Geordie solicitors?

Isn't the reason they wanted him out is because although he was voted in democratically, he was plotting with his government to remove those democratic rights from the constitution and therefore create some form of Iranian style theocracy?m if that's the case I can understand the people getting all pissed off and wanting them out. The Muslim brotherhood got such a high vote in Egypt because they were th only party who cared about and helped the population. Rumour has it they only helped people affiliated to them or their sect of Islam, but still it was more than anybody else in that corrupt country had ever done. Slightly similar to have the national socialists came to power in Germany voted in democratically and then alter the system so they can stay in power. The people effectively and unwittingly vote for a dictatorship! Will it never end??

Wow that's really thought provoking and worrying stuff! I suppose the answer is we should all be more responsible about how many children we have. Alternatively we need to raise those country's out of poverty so they don't end up having 10 kids per family just to compensate for the high levels of infant mortality. It won't work though because we are all too greedy in the developed world. It's far more liely that those unfortunates would face a badger style culling via resource wars or allowing preventable diseases to spread. Rather than somebody in the west giving up their sky tv or Xbox and foreign holidays to help them out.

Shelvey was pure shit.

Hi, have you considered that you lent it somebody or it broke and you threw it out? I spent all weekend looking for a cd and finally remembered I threw it in the bin!