Saturday Apr 20:
Fuck off City. A spawny undeserved 1-0 win over Spurs today puts them one step closer to the title and means we’re relying on United even more than ever. And United are shit, so God help us.
Meanwhile, the six nominees are announced for POTY. Virg and Sadio are on the list, along with Sterling (fair enough), Aguero (hmmm, maybe), Hazard (yep) and Bernardo Silva. Not having that. He’s had a good season but Andy Robbo, Salah or Son Heung Min are more deserving than that snide little fuck.
What pissed me off even more though is that Bernardo is also up for the Young Player award. He’ll be 25 in a few months!!! How the fuck is he considered a young player? This award is an absolute fucking joke. I’m surprised Harry Kane isn’t up for it again. Sterling is though, and he’s 24 too and has been playing top flight football for *checks wiki* SEVEN FULL SEASONS!!!
Somewhere along the line they’ve lost track of what this award is actually supposed to be about. When James Maddison, Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Ben Chilwell are not on a shortlist of six for young player of the year, it makes a mockery of the whole thing. You have to wonder whether they’d have even nominated Joe Gomez had he stayed fit. I’m guessing not.
The writers will get that one right, but they’re also nailed on to give Sterling the main award and it won’t be just because of football reasons (although in fairness he has probably been better than everyone else other than Virgil). Their colleagues on the front pages have given him so much unwarranted shit that some of the back page lads will be wanting to make it up to him. Virg has no chance of that one unless we pip City to the title.
Meanwhile, the Brazilian press reckon we’re interested in a 23 year old striker from Gremio, who goes by the name of.. wait for it… Everton. I’m all in on this one, imagine the fume from the Blues when the Kop are all chanting “Ev-er-ton”. Even better, imagine how funny it will be when they are singing it themselves in a derby, especially if he scored. Edwards, make it happen.
A report claims that ‘liverpool’ is the most commonly used football related password. Not surprised, we’ve got more fans than virtually everyone, and when you throw in all the Everton, City and United fans who’s passwords are ‘fuckliverpool’ or ‘liverpoolscum’ etc then it makes sense.
Funny story. My cousin once had an account on ‘Love at Lycos’ back in the day. Don’t get me wrong, he had no trouble attracting female attention on night’s out (he was usually having to beat them off with a stick) and this account was just for a bit of a laugh more than anything.
He didn’t have a computer at the time so used to use the one in my mum’s. He went on holiday for a couple of weeks and while he was away I thought I’d do a little bit of tampering with his account. I had to get into it first though. What would his password be? First attempt, ‘liverpool’. I’m in. Unbelievable.
First stop was his profile. Changed from straight to bi. Next stop, changing the picture. I went to mingers.com and found an incredible photo that looked like a lab experiment of him gone wrong. Seriously, you know that Halloween episode of the Simpsons when Bart has an ugly twin who they keep in the attic? This was like that.
So I changed the photo, and then went cruising around different pages, because whenever someone visited your page you could see it. I visited loads of pages, left a couple of messages here and there and then logged out.
Two weeks later, he comes back from his hols and he’s in my mums. I’m outside the door, listening. He logs in, and then I can hear him muttering to himself, confused and wondering how come there were loads of gay fellas messaging him. Then he sees the photo of himself and hears me pissing myself outside of the door. That’s when he realised what had happened. On reflection, it might have been the greatest day of my life that.
Sunday Apr 21:
Cardiff 0 L 2 Nice professional job in the end. It took longer than we would have liked to get the first goal, and I’m not gonna lie, my arse was starting to go a little at half time when we hadn’t scored, but looking back now, there was no way we weren’t going to score as we were creating chances and Cardiff were never going to be able to keep going in that heat.
Gini’s goal was a belter and Milner’s pen was typically calm and clinical. Mad that there are people out there who don’t think that was a foul. Fucking dickheads. If that wasn’t a penalty, then we may as well just abolish penalties altogether.
Should have been more than 2-0 really but goal difference is unlikely to come into it, so it’s all about the points. We need City to slip up somewhere, but it won’t be at Old Trafford. I said yesterday that United were shit, but it appears I was being too kind. They’re much worse than that. 4-0 at Goodison? Every single one of them involved in that shitshow should be ashamed.
At least it means they’ll have to put in some effort on Wednesday, but get your money on a ‘plucky defeat’ and an ‘at least they tried’ narrative being pushed afterwards. Fucking losers. As if they’re going to take any points off City. Like I’ve been saying for weeks, if anyone is going to help us out it will be Burnley.
Meanwhile, two more goals for Harry Wilson this weekend, taking his tally for the season to 16. He’s played mostly in midfield so that’s an impressive number. It’s going to be interesting to see what we do with him next season but when you look at the players we have competing for midfield spots, there’s no room for him there.
Maybe he’s an option for the front three, but a loan at a Bournemouth or Newcastle would probably serve him best. I really like him though, I’d love him to nail down a place here one day.
Emre Can wins the title with Juve and posts on social media “I came here to win trophies”. Cue clickbait articles about him having a dig at Liverpool. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Congrats Big Sexy, I don't begrudge you your success but equally I've barely given you a second though all season and you've not been missed in the slightest.
Transfer rumours today see us linked with Nicholas Pepe, a forward from Lille who is tearing it up in Ligue 1 this year, and Ajax playmaker Hakim Ziyech. Not seen anything of Pepe, but Ziyech is boss. Fuck it, sign them both, we’re having great success with African forwards so why not? Now that the AFCON isn’t in January there’s no reason not to, especially as we need to replace Sturridge and Lallana this summer.
Monday Apr 22:
I commented last week on how chesty the Blues had been after beating Arsenal and how funny it was when they lost at Fulham. After them battering United yesterday there’s no living with them now. I saw a tweet from one of them saying only Virg and Sadio would get in their team, and maybe Alisson could provide competition for ol’ Barney the Dinosaur in goal.
Utterly fucking mental they are. Not all of them are as bad as this loon, but there’ll be loads thinking that in a combined Merseyside XI they’d have five or six in there. Truth is, their best player by a mile is Digne and even he wouldn’t get in our side. Digne is the second best left back in the league, but Robbo is number one.
There isn’t one other Blue I’d even want on our bench, other than Richarlison who might be decent cover for the front three if he wasn’t such a twat with an incredibly punchable face. The Blues might say I’m being just as biased as that deluded fool I’m ripping into, but the players I’m valuing so highly are 39 points better off than his.
Can’t wait until they lose to Huddersfield or someone next week. *checks fixtures* Ok, they’ve got Palace, who are rancid at home. Still, defo a Palace win, mark it down now.
Tuesday Apr 23:
Virgil is asked whether Man United can do us a favour, and replies “they need to do themselves a favour”. Ooof! He’s right like, and at least he’s not antagonising the mancs in the way Flat Track Pep is.
He said today that Old Trafford isn’t a scary place to go anymore. He’s not wrong, but why say it the day before you go there? Especially when a lot of the home fans weren’t exactly fired up for the game. If they have anything about them, they’ll be pissed at Guardiola’s arrogance and want their team to win now.
Solskjaer rattled City’s cage too by (rightly) pointing out the amount of tactical fouls City commit when they lose the ball. It’s about time someone pointed this out, as it does my head in. As soon as City lose possession and the opposition look to counter, some cunt commits a foul. Not a serious foul worthy of a yellow card, just a foul that stops the counter attack.
Guardiola denied it and says he never tells his players to do that. He might be right, but that Amazon behind the scenes documentary showed the ‘Playmobil Man’ Mikel Arteta telling players to do exactly that.
Anyway, the upshot of this is that manc beef has to be good for us. Anything that might make United’s fans get behind their team more, or make United’s players try harder, has to be a good thing, right?
Wednesday Apr 24:
Ok, so it didn’t really matter in the end. I don’t know if United players tried their best or not but if this was their best then fuck me, they’ll be lucky to finish top half next season. Cowardly, negative, playing to not get hammered football. Rashford up front on his own and Lingard playing behind. I’m not even sure Mourinho would have been that negative. De Gea can fuck off too, the bum.
It’s utterly demoralising having to just sit here and watch City reel off win after win. I didn’t hold out any real hope for United tonight, but I can’t pretend there wasn’t a part of me thinking that it might be tough for City because it’s a derby game and United do have some players who could hurt them.
As it turned out I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was just easy for them, they didn’t really have to break sweat because United are fucking garbage. Really bad.
Meanwhile, Mo is in New York mingling with the stars, including The Khaleesi from Game of Thrones. The rest of the lads are back here training in the cold while he’s rubbing shoulders with the ‘mother of dragons’. If he wasn’t such a nice fella I’d be a little concerned about this as team-mates can often become resentful when one player gets this kind of attention. Don’t want him turning into another Beckham.
Thursday Apr 25:
Virgil is PFA Player of the Year and is one of four Reds in the team of the year. I could argue the toss about Ederson getting in over Alisson (just on aesthetics alone it should be our man) but it’s difficult to complain too much about ten of the eleven.
Salah, Son and Hazard all missing out is debatable, but one thing that isn’t in question is that Paul Pogba being named in it is fucking hilarious. Presumably the voting was cast when he was at the tail end of that purple patch he had after Jose was sacked. Y’know, that one period in the season when he was actually arsed because people were blaming him for Mourinho’s failure.
What a fucking fraud he is. I hope United don’t sell him. He’s the living embodiment of how shite they are now. Much in the same way that Ozil sums up modern day lightweight, flakey bastards Arsenal, Pogba is the poster boy for this 6th placed, overhyped, overpaid, over-rated United side. De Gea is right there alongside him too now, the werewolf looking error prone twat.
Onto tonight now. That youth cup final was FUCKING BOSS! Those lads did themselves and the club proud. City looked a class above in the first half and scored just before half time. Annoying as fuck as the youth team play exactly like their first team and the goal was your classic City strike - passing move, byline, cutback, goal.
I didn’t see how the lads could turn it around because they were being given a chasing and the midfield and forwards just couldn’t get into it. The second half was completely different though. Barry Lewtas had them on the front foot and they pushed City back, but they didn’t take their chances and it looked like they’d lose 1-0.
Then with three minutes left, Bobby Duncan picked the ball up, turned and leathered one in from 30 yards. The keeper should have done better but there was loads of swerve on the ball as Bobby’s left foot is like a sledge hammer.
This was fairy tale stuff because Bobby left City last summer to come home. He’d barely had a kick before that and spent most of the game marooned on the left wing to stop City’s right back getting forward. You could almost read his mind though when he picked that ball up. He was always going to turn and shoot, and it’s a sign of a big time player that this is what he can do when it matters most. He is Stevie’s cousin though so we shouldn’t be surprised by that.
City were the stronger side in extra time but both sets of players were absolutely goosed and it was a war of attrition. It went to pens, and we scored all five while City missed one. The standard of pens was ridiculous, not least the winner from Glatzel which was right in the top bin. He looked petrified as he prepared himself to take it and I was sure he’d miss, but fair play to him, that was a phenomenal penalty.
Great stuff from the lads, especially as this was a one off final at City’s home stadium. Why the FA decided to do it that way is anyone’s guess, but hopefully they’ll go back to the two legged format in future. I love the youth cup, me.
Friday Apr 26:
L 5 Huddersfield 0 Really enjoyed this. Yeah Huddersfield are terrible but it’s just great to see how we can take care of business against these crap teams now without even really having to extend ourselves too much. Some of the football was absolutely sublime and the goals were great.
The goals we didn’t score would have been even greater. Mo went close to two incredible goals that would have been goal of the season contenders and that Sadio header that hit the post would have been amazing too, not least because it would have given him a hat-trick of headers.
Robbo was phenomenal and bagged two more assists. He was buzzing afterwards because Ox had told him prior to the season that if he manages 10 assists then he will put up a signed Robbo shirt on his wall next to the one he has from Messi. He’s now got 11 and he’s making Ox keep his side of the bargain.
Speaking of Ox though, perhaps the best thing all night was him coming back. Not gonna lie, I had a lump in my throat when he came on. Also not gonna lie, I’d have had a lump in my pants if he’d have put that chance away.
Great to see him back out there and it was surprising how sharp he looked. Remember when players would be out for a while and come back rusty as hell? Seems to not be the case any more, which is almost certainly a result of how much time goes into rehabilitation these days.
In years gone by, Ox would have been back in the team two months ago, but he wouldn’t have been ready. He might actually be a useful option off the bench in some of these huge games we’ve got left as he looked great.
We even got to see Shaq again tonight too. He looked razor sharp as well. This might be the last we see of him at Anfield as I’m not sure he’ll want to stick around next year if he’s seeing as little action as he has in the last few months. Hope not though, I love Shaq.
This was almost definitely the last we’ve seen of Sturridge though. I was surprised he got the start, but not surprised he was off the pace and didn’t do much. Great player in his day but he’s unrecognisable from that now.
That’s 91 points now. The most we’ve ever had. Hopefully we’ll get to 97 and then what will be will be. Title or no title, this is the best Liverpool side I’ve ever seen. Some will use trophies as the barometer for that honour, but to me that’s not really fair considering none of our previous great sides were having to deal with the same level of competition (and rampant cheating) these lads are up against.
Kenny’s Boys of 88 are the benchmark in the ‘best ever side’ discussion, but this team already has more points despite having played four games less. They’ve conceded four less goals and need to score only three to equal the 88 side’s total. If they manage to win a trophy (or two) this season then I don’t even think there’s a debate to be had.
I fucking love this team, it’ll be a travesty if they end up empty handed again.
That was the week that was….
Recommended Comments