Bruce Spanner

So far, completely unmentioned. I’m sure they’re playing the long game here and will surprise me later…

Really underrated is Turkish food, I love Iskenda. Manti is amazing as well, but not many places do it in the UK. Enjoy!

What you having?

Everton look at players like I look at Sophia Vergara, I’m willing to go deep into the overdraft, take out a payday loan from a crook, sell the family silver to show her a good time if she’d so much as show me the time of day and pretend she sees me as I see myself.

Step up Harvey Barnes.

He has three/four years left at the top. He can take the money then from Saudi/Qatar/China/Uzbekistan or whoever is flashing ankle and spunking money away.

i think there might be smoke in the Mo fire. Messi gone, Neymar shite and will be sold if they find anybody stupid enough to pony up for the sister loving goon and now Mbappe throwing his toys out of the pram. No CL, a wage hit - I assume due to the way we structure contracts/bonuses and unless things change quickly with solid investment no real chance at the league.

My wife has thrown up on three different types of shark, including a Great White. Fun fact we unleash at dinner parties.

“I think we have four players leaving this season, Ox, Keita, Milner and Firmino. We are obliged to replace them. If we don't replace them, how do we do it? We are understaffed and we lack quality? We can't play with young people at this level.” Konate, June 13th 2023. Testify.

Now my French is a little rusty but I believe that says Mbappe says 'Pony up you chepskate cunts at FSG, I'm ready now. I'm done with this fucking circus and fancy living in Norris'

The ship canal looks radiant tonight, you could almost mistake it for the Adraitic...

Soy and ginger marinated spicy chicken ramen. Quite simple to make, but damn tasty.

I'll be wearing shorts to make it easier for you.

I'll be there on Saturday...

Nailed on future captain.

You got stats for that, Frode? Genuinely interested.

Out with a mate tomorrow in Hackney. I'll only be seeing it if I'm in a boozer showing it, which is unlikely as Hackney is so fucking hipster that electricity is gauche in some bars. If I see it and they're winning I'll shrug with indiference, if I look up and Inter are winning I'll give a wry smile and go back to imagining the life me and the barmaid are going to live once I give up my wife and kids for her. I'll see the score in the morning and have forgotten about it before lunch.

If the Saudis are willing to give Phil Mickelson the best part of a quarter bill for playing golf in 40 degree heat they sure as shit would baulk at a billion for 'proof' of shenanigans at Area 51. Played a blinder here has the big orange goon.

Who is that malingering Scottish right back we bought? That cunt, it'll be that cunt.

It's always, always, the ones you least expect... https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jun/06/german-band-rammstein-accused 'Several people who attended concerts by the German band Rammstein have come forward describing a system whereby young female fans are recruited to have sex with the shock rockers’ lead singer, Till Lindemann, during and after their shows, following one fan’s allegation that her drink had been spiked at an afterparty in Vilnius last month.'

Of course Johnson wasn’t being truthful… But but but … Either side could yet head to the Court of Appeal if the battle over redactions doesn’t go their way. NOW FOR THE JUICY BIT: As part of its legal fight, the Cabinet Office dumped out 227 pagesof documents on Thursday night that are a treasure trove of news lines about Boris Johnson and the COVID inquiry. We’ll take you through them. JOHNSON’S LOST PHONE: The big revelation is that Johnson has at no point handed over any messages from before April 2021, when he changed his phone in a security alert. That basically skips all three lockdowns. Who’d have thought a Popbitch email — which revealed his mobile number was on the internet for 15 years — could lead to this? Found! The phone isn’t in the North Sea, Team Johnson insists. His office says Johnson does still have the old device — and has written to the Cabinet Office asking for security and technical support to retrieve messages from it. His team insist he was told at the time never to turn the phone back on. Big offer: Determined to show how open he is, Johnson has also written directly to the inquiry — offering to give them his unredacted messages and bypass the Cabinet Office. BUT BUT BUT … This phone business rather stretches Johnson’s claims to have been champing at the bit for transparency. The Mirrorpoints out that Johnson’s office claimed it had handed over “all material requested by the COVID inquiry” to the Cabinet Office. It hasn’t. The inquiry clearly requested material starting in January 2020. Not to mention: The docs paint a picture of Johnson cooperating … but cautiously. When Cabinet Office officials first asked for permission to collect his notebooks on March 31, he refused and they visited the books in situ. Johnson also asked on April 5 that only “a particular counsel” be allowed to see his unredacted WhatsApps. GET ALL THE POPCORN: The document dump shows the extraordinary breadth of grilling that will face not just Johnson, but dozens if not hundreds of ministers, officials and the like in the three-year inquiry.

He’s really struggling to go back to regular porn, he says.

Do you like your mates, would you like to be notified for their every single thought. Would you also like to be notified whenever mates of mates give over their thoughts on a given topic. Would you also like to be notified when an article is posted and then have all of the above mentioned comment on it and recieve a notification for every one of them? If the answer to any of the above is yes then you're a better man than me. I can't think of anything worse than incessent updates of what my mates talk about in their spare time. Theres 24hrs in a day and I'll be fucked if I'm going to read what my mate Steve's mate Chris thinks about trans rights.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/30/tourists-turn-up-at-family-home-after-address-mistakenly-listed-on-bookingcom “People had booked accommodation which listed the address as a flat in Greenwich. She said it seemed the street’s postcode had been used for the bookings on the travel website, and her house was beneath the pin drop. Arsenius had to make up beds in her living room for three women from Argentina after they were unable to find suitable accommodation that night. The students turned up at the family’s home at 8pm on 27 May, and Arsenius’s partner took them to the pub to try to resolve the matter with the online booking site. By midnight, they had not found somewhere to stay, which she described as “shocking”. “They had nowhere to go and we tried all the local hotels but everything was booked out,” Arsenius told the BBC.’ Of course he did…

Made these for lunch as i'm depressed as shit and eating my feelings... https://themodernproper.com/french-dip-sandwich Basically a fancy steak and cheese with dipping gravy. Didn't take a picture as I was too busy crying in anguish, or joy, not sure. It was lovely though.