Chip Butty

Life! If all that there was to spread on toast was shitehawk marg. Anyone cutting it triangle style, is a bad ponce as well. Fried perhaps, but never, ever, toast. You lose all toast butty making capabilities cutting it like a ponce.

Margarine on toast is the absolute trampiest thing to do. Where do they live, skid row? I'd rather eat the plate than entertain that muck.

Watched the rugby wold cup final in 1995 in Amsterdam, upside down in a hotel room with a mixture of royal marines and my other mates, playing spoof/forfit games, having to drink beer through 4 day old sweat laden socks, only braking out to leg down stairs bollocko to leg across the road and 'touch the lamp post' and leg it back, whilst also doing far too much white widow and lemmo. South Africa won, btw.

He's genuinely confused with all crosses and the wider defending thing as well.

The honky bastard, I hope he gets something bad, like a whitlo or a paper cut.

Now 47

Solo, Seppblatter, Kylewalker and Jabba the Unsworth.

No doubt we'll weave our magic and make him shitterer.

You're either with us, or against us - thats my scan on it all. He quite evidently isn't, so bin this kid off soon and make sure we do the binning off, not this lad. .

Love the hairy little road runner bastard. Staring to get those John Barne's kind of male love in feelings, for the little beautiful bastard.

Not watched as of yet, but there is a new series of the Detectorists starting on BBC 4 tomorrow night.

It would be neglect of duty if the FA, the Premier league and probably more importantly Liverpool Council, didn't undertake an investigation. Unless of course Moshiri falls from the edge of a boat in the coming months A la, a certain Mr Maxwell.

It would be an absolute tragedy if this Paradise Papers leak proved true and in some way everton football club were implicated and subsequently penalised via a large points deduction and Moshiri banned from owning a football club. An absolute tragedy I tell you, tragedy.

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave homicidal maniac

Once again the Grauniad proving it can't spell, mistakingly spelling obsessed, like based.

Prince Naive

Meg Lilley, Dominic Calvert-Lewin's bird

Twat 2-2

Watford fuck up and gift everton a walk in goal 2-1

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees 2!

Two great saves one after the other by the watford keeper

The goodison faithful really getting behind their team here

Fuck, that should of been 2-0

Get the fuck in there!

Apparently Sam Allardyce has a way of getting around this and FA rules. At a price of course.