Jarvinja Ilnow

Yeah, they actually kicked him out of Maggie Thatcher's funeral.

They'd play him at RB and he would probably put a shift in for them (for a couple of years, at least) - but he won't for us in that position.

Yes, 4 4 fucking 2

only a myopic fanboy would come out with that.

by getting himself involved and noy waiting to be served it on a plate by his team mates

Giving a fucking fuck?

Bit harsh on Salah.

AFL is on!

Danns should have to lower himself to playing with these fannies

On the odd occasion when he's not injured.

That Nunez shot was a fucking disgrace.

Clownfest.

You can't put anything past that lot - they'd even knowingly get into bed with Russian gangsters. Hopefully the administrators would sell off everything they can (whilst having to keep it a going concern), but put them on a tight leash when it comes to their profligate transfer activities. Let them shop at Matalan, not Catalan.

Slapheads rule! Embrace the baldness - Jurgen's reign of hirsute terror is over.

My wife made me watch this. She said it's sad that I've given up on football in general, and these footballers in particular. I wanted to thank her for her faith and love. I now want a divorce.

He's a fucking show pony. Hoddlesque levels of prancing and showboating.

Laura Woods looks pissed off.

Bismark, Hitler, Usmanov, Putin. All bluenoses. It's them that should be paying the rest of the world compensation.

His head's not right - he was ponderous and failed to move the ball on quickly (the way we'd been doing earlier with success). He killed every attack and then Darwin started playing erratically as well, and Elliot also started to overthink things and choose the wrong option. At that point we were royally fucked. As someone said earlier, Danns is more of a fighter, and seems mentally more robust. We may have signed a skillful player in Gakpo but one who could prove to just be a shrinking violet.

TLW's Solshenitsyn, but with Exel spreadsheets.

My old boss was a fairly pc social worker but, when it came to Italians, she always said "why do they always wear fucking puffa jackets". I was a bit nonplussed - so was my wife when I told her - but fuck, my boss was right. Working in central London, if I saw a gaggle of puffa jackets the group was always Italian. Moral of the story - don't wear club colours, wear puffa jackets when in Italy.

If financial fair play keeps being enforced then I am afraid that it is unlikely that those oil nations will see the benefits of challenging for honours, that is, without being able to buy success. The downside of this is that the status quo will be preserved. It would be such a shame if ambitious clubs are prevented from challenging the Sky 6 and overcoming the tv cartel, as any hopes clubs have of ambition and growth will disappear. It makes you sad. It really does.

I thought it was an Independence Day sequel at the start.

If you could combine the Origi stone-killer calm with Darwin's all round game then that would be some player.

So you can win anything with kids!