mister_lizard

Mrs Heisenberg: "I can't find the car keys." Mr Heisenberg: "Maybe you know too much about their velocity."

Best comment ever. Should be tweeted and retweeted to fuck. They wouldn't have needed a dead Welsh tramp either.

Hatem Trabelsi failed a medical at Liverpool....

One of the Guardian's football writers, Rob Smyth, quite happily gave an interview to this website a couple of years ago, at a time when the Heysel merchandise was being sold. Charming.

They should erect a statue of David Moores outside Old Trafford, or at least whoever it was who thought the right man to lead Liverpool into the 21st century would be a shit-thick, inbred Freddie Boswell clone who was born into his money and not done a day's work in his life. In the late 80s we were the most powerful club off the pitch as well as on it - when the biggest players in England moved (Barnes, Beardsley, Houghton, etc) it was to us. Then along comes Freddie, and whether through incompetence, arrogance or complacency, proceeded to sit on his hands for 15 years while the world revolved away from us. Sure, ferguson is an abhorrent, toxic, cancerous freak - whose comments in the past 48 hours hopefully suggest the decline into madness has finally kicked in - but he just had to look after his team whilst Moores allowed ours to deflate like a shit balloon. Being asked to hold up a mosaic for him on the day Fowler played his last match was a disgrace. And when he had one shot to put it right, he took the Texan blood money. How was the private Lionel Richie gig, you cunt? And somehow, there he still is, turning up for matches, apparently oblivious. I sometimes wonder if he's so thick he just doesn't understand what he did to us, or so thick-skinned he doesn't care. The cunt.

How long did we chase Mark Gonzalez for?

Probably unfair on him, but my most vivid memory of Mike Marsh is him getting a standing ovation after being sent off for cutting Dmitri Radchenko in two. Sly little bastard deserved it though, if only for making us have to watch David Burrows play in goal in the previous leg.

My niece is in his class at school and hasn't stopped crying for two days. We didn't want to let our kids go to sleep last night. Just horrible - how can parents cope with something like this? Some idiot at work trotted out the "he's with god now" line today and I had to walk away or I would have lost it. I swear if I ever get rich Claire House is going to see a chunk of it.

Do the FA cup runners-up get a Europa spot? I'd assumed we'd have a horrible scenario where we need manu to win the final to get us into Europe (I'm assuming citeh will fuck up today or crumble in the semi).

Lawton is a ridiculous, pompous cunt with his head so far up his own arse he can lick his teeth clean from the inside. Every time I see the photo accompanying his articles I want to grab him by the fucking throat and point out to him - forcefully - that he writes about fucking games for a living.

If I were Titi Camara, I might be mildly pissed that Leyton Maxwell got mentioned in this thread before me.

The prospect of a two-year whore-off between Fat Cunt and Bent Cunt for the England job is a truly miserable one.

Derren Brown on neuro-linguistic programming: "NLP is a communication tool that blends aspects of Behaviourism and Chomskian Linguistics into a highly evangelical package. It has built around itself a rather creepy scene and in a rather dubious and unchecked way has become a massive industry in the worlds of trendy management-training and alternative therapies. Having trained with the highly likeable founder of NLP, I find it a mixture of sensible and appealing methods for dealing with low-level pathologies such as phobias and fears on the one hand, and sheer daft nonsense and massive rhetoric on the other." So while it's sensible to consider the power of language, the big claims made for NLP are up there with homeopathy and reiki - bullshit pseudo-science trumpeted by hideous, braying young professionals desperately looking for something that will give them an 'edge' as they attempt to fuck everyone around them for an upgrade on their Audi and cuntish new age wankers wanting some new magic clothes to dress up in and prance around feeling all warm and smug and superior and initiated into the hidden secrets of the universe. I don't think it's going to help with Hicks.

Jesus fuck. You'd trade in your marriage for that? Fucking mong.

The cake is a lie.