Paul Don

Starring Steve Coogan as a middle class ratcatching former 1970s roadie with serious anger management issues. Quite amusing, has potential. Not Partridge but still funny in parts.

If cats were de-domesticated (is that a word) at least they still know how to hunt stuff. Dogs would only know how to hunt slippers and newspapers. Which, I'm led to believe, do not constitute a healthy diet for a dog.

Some internet sleuthing.................... http://www.shu.ac.uk/cses/news/goalband.html Heads up for revolutionary device set to change the face of football 12th August 2004 Top footballers missing crucial headers could be a thing of the past – if experts at Sheffield Hallam University prove that a new invention boosts players' chances of goal glory. Vaughan Lovelock says his revolutionary Goalband will take the footballing world by storm because it improves the accuracy of headers. The secret of the unique headband is silicone, which he believes increases the amount of friction between the head and the ball, giving players better control in the air. Experts from the University's Centre for Sport and Exercise Science will put the headgear through its paces today (Thursday 12 August), with the help of a group of teenage footballing hopefuls from Sheffield United's youth academy. Originally dreamt up as a training device for budding footballers, Vaughan now has his sights set on the bright lights of the professional game. “The design is so simple, it's unreal. I can see it filtering into the professional ranks. It has worldwide potential.” Automotive designer Vaughan , aged 59, came up with the idea after watching players constantly failing to put headers into the back of the net. He said: “I noticed that footballers were missing the goal and realised that things have changed over the years. The ball is no longer leather, it's a plastic composite so it's smoother and lighter than old footballs used to be. Now the balls have a smooth outer surface, when a player with sweat on his forehead is making contact the friction is lost, and that's the problem.” Vaughan experimented with a number of different materials before the mechanics behind women's hold-up stockings inspired him to try out a silicone coating. The use of the silicone will also be put under the spotlight in a series of frictional drag tests by University engineers. He is confident that scientists from Sheffield Hallam will prove the prototype headband does improve players' chances of hitting the target. He said: “I would like to have it endorsed so it can be sent out in training packs for schools. As well as helping with the accuracy of headers it also offers protection to the head, so girls will find it particularly helpful.” Sports scientist Tim Vernon said: “What we'll be doing is filming the boys heading the ball - first without the headband, then using the new kit – and have the footage analysed using specialist software. The results will tell us whether Goalband does work.” Vaughan , from Leamington Spa, estimates that when Goldband hits the streets it will cost around £5 and will be available in a range of colours and sizes. The tests are being filmed as part of a series of educational engineering documentaries, to be screened on Channel 4 in November Well if a man in a white coat from Sheffield Hallam Uni and a bloke from Leamington Spa say it'll work thats good enough for me. No mention of Craig Johnstone though............

I had that same email, told me mate in no uncertain terms that Crouchs' missus was better looking than anyone he (or indeed I) had ever pulled. Mrs Totti was a bit of alright though I have to say.

Nothin new there then.

Double Decker Boost Chunky Kit Kat not a bar but Vice Versas (alas, no more I think)

He's only saying what they're all thinking but just haven't got the bollocks to say it.

I know Craig Johnston was responsible for the Predator boot but wasn't he also involved with some 'headband' which was like a hairband but made from rubber composite and gave the player extra ability when heading the ball? Or was it all just a crazy dream?

I would. But I wouldn't buy their music.

So true lad so true. I currently work in a call centre, not one of those huge fuck off ones with hundreds of people, just a small one where all the staff know each other and get along. The work is shite though and enough is enough so the notice has now been served this afternoon!! So I am currently having a Tim Robbins moment all of my own. One drawback, I now need a new job...............

Think I read somewhere that there is only one in the current squad.

Fuck all. Just pointing it its hardly in the realms of 'Quotes of the Year', ie. something that rolls of the tongue and is instantly attributable to someone. Like 'We shall fight them on the beaches.............' Or 'I'd love it if we beat them, love it.' Come to think of it, can't remember anything Nietzsche said directly so maybe not the best example...... Ah, fuck it you get my point.

Damn - really wish I'd taken the afternoon off. Everyone seems to be of the opinion this was one of THE classic games of all time. Damn, damn, damn.

Haven't got the foggiest. It's hardly Nietsche is it?

Excellent film that, one of my favourite non-British or Hollywood films. Jake is played by Jango Fett isn't he? Great actor, though Shortland Street was turd.

The scene at the end of Shawshank Redemption on the beach in Mexico.

Or facetious even? Only messin!

Completely agree. Footy is being sanitised. Bring back neck high challenges! Tacking is an art form as much as curling the ball or volleying spectacular goals. Of course there will always be crude challenges but to remove all contact from the game changes it fundamentally, and not for the better, IMO.

It fucking does as well! Or those nice Crusader chaps. An abomination.

Club.

Loved that film. Watched it at 2am on the plane home from Gran Canaria and normally the film acts like a sedative but I was totally engrossed. Two great performances in that fillm. Another favourite was 'Downfall' which I saw at the end of last year. Awesome. Looking forward to seeing 'Munich' as I missed that at the cinema.

Puma King or Adidas Copa Mundial/World Cup are the only boots for me. Black of course. Too many crap footballers wear coloured boots these days, even in Sunday League and they then become an obvious target for the oppositions emotionally unstable headcase. Seeing a 35 year old fat central defender in red Nike boots is just stupid. They should introduce a system that means all Sunday League, lower divisions etc standard players should wear black boots. The better the player the more colours he has available to use - all the way up to the Holy Grail - the white boot. Its a bit like a reverse of martial arts belts.

Really looking forward to seeing the Spanish play. They have a class looking team on paper and hopefully they will come good this time. Isn't Canizares 2nd choice keeper? Anyway, I agree, the more Reds on display the better! Alonso and Garcia should both definitely start.

He's also a striker you pleb. Read article first.

Is he likely to get many games though? He's got Messi, Deco, Ronaldinho, Xavi, Iniesta etc to contend with. Good riddance though etc etc.