Uncle Junior

and another fuckin thing, where's my friend the Count? He was just about the only one of you assholes I could stomach for more than two minutes.

What fuck is goin on here? I go away for a little while, and this asshole Remmie takes over the fuckin joint, acting like he's king of the fuckin world or somethin. I don't appreciate you musclin in on my turf friend, but I'm back now so you can crawl back into whatever fuckin shit infested cockroach hole you came from, before you get fuckin hurt.

What am I, fuckin invisible here? Al Pacino's a fuckin actor, I'm the real fuckin deal. He's a fuckin great actor, but still just an actor. Gimme some fuckin respect here, asshole. I'm the fuckin Godfuckinfather.

He fuckin was playin me, and not doin much of a fuckin job I gotta say. As for my whereabouts, I'm sorry to say I'm in a fuckin nuthouse. I did such a good job convincing those jurors I was insane, they put me in with Jack fuckin Nicholson and his big Red Indian friend in a fuckin asylum. It may also have had somethin to do with me putting a bullet in my fat fuckin nephews fat fuckin gut. You limey's will see that for yourself in a couple of weeks. I gotta go, I'm posting from the warden's office but he's coming back. Thanks for your concern, I'm touched. Fuck you all, assholes!

Hooooooo he's back. Where've you been, we've missed you. There's a weeks worth of glasses need collecting, so get to fuckin work. Hehehehe

Porn and hookers are every Italian male's birthright. This Capello kid got every right to fuckin complain if he was bein denied either. Fuckin prudish limeys.

You better believe it asshole. Just because you've broke up with Nebraska don't be gettin any ideas about buttfuckin with Angie.

You should never trust outsiders, they could be fuckin rats. In this thing of ours, the way we work it is no-one gets inside the inner circle unless someone vouches for them. If a guy is connected, like if he knows one of our guys, he'll be introduced as 'a friend of mine'. If he's a made guy we'll say 'a friend of ours'. It works pretty fuckin good, except when that Donnie Brasco cocksucker got in. The moral of the story here, is outsiders are bad fuckin news.

My nephew just got back from a business trip to Thailand, and he brought me back a shirt but I got my suspicions it's a fuckin fugaze. Fuckin cheap asshole, he probably spent all his fuckin money on pizzas and ladyboys, the fat fuck.

All these fuckin pathetic assholes pretendin to be wiseguys. Is there anythin more fuckin embarrassin than a guy pretending he's in the mafia just to try and look funny or tough? You fuckin bunch of losers. I'd love to stick around an poke fun at you assholes, but I gotta go make some collections. That fuckin Korean shopkeeper is still playin hardball, thinks he's fuckin Bruce Lee this asshole.

Another fuckin funny boy huh? Here's one for you then smart guy, why is Italy shaped like a boot? Because you can't fit that many beautiful broads in a shoe. Hehehehehe

I'm a fuckin nut house? Madonn, that explains all these fuckin dribblin idiots around me. Still, it's fuckin saner than this place, you guys are all fuckin oogatz.

How many times do I gotta tell those two assholes about fuckin recording themselves. They'll never make fuckin captains if they keep puttin their stupid fuckin faces all over the internet actin like a couple of fuckin strunz's. No wonder this thing of ours is dyin on its fuckin feet.

Wiseguys don't work 9 to 5, asshole.

When my guys untie the judge, which will be when he makes the right decision. Let's just say we are making him an offer he can't refuse. Hehehehe

Whats your fuckin problem asshole, frogboy is right. That Zidane kid is a fuckin inspiration to us all. He's had a huge influence on some of my guys. Only today one of my captains had a little problem with some Korean store owner was bein a fuckin asshole about payin what he owes. One big fuckin head to the sternum later, and he would have given us his fuckin mother never mind the couple of g's he owed us. My guys even have a name for it, we call it 'the cueball'. That kid has inspired a generation.

What is this, the 1970's? £10m wouldn't even buy you a fuckin win against Chievo in this day and age. Move with the times my friend, ever heard of a little thing called inflation? I guess all those monkey blow jobs have screwed with your mind. You remember your first blowjob Stu Monty? How long did it take the monkey to come? Hehehehehehe

Who gives a fuck what he said. The guys a fuckin cueball head.

Wrong fuckin thread. I guess I'm a little excited here.

Who gives a fuck what he said. The guys a fuckin cueball head.

Thats fuckin beautiful my friend. You should see the party in my neighbourhood. Shame I gotta watch it through the fuckin window, I'm still under hosue arrest. Fuckin fed assholes won't let me join in the fun, but I got three broads with big tits here so I'm havin a little party of my own. Hehehehe Once again the paisan show their fuckin balls. Those fuckin frog eatin assholes thought they could intimidate our guys, but we're fuckin gladiators. Bully boy tactics don't work on us Italians. What was with that fuckin cueball head asshole? What is he, fuckin crazy? He's a fuckin animal. Forza Italia!

What the fuck you talkin about? You don't have to be a finook to get your dick stuck in a hoover, and it sure as hell ain't no fuckin laughin matter. I mean, so I've heard.

The fuckin mutt. I'm glad that cocksucker's not defending me. Don Moggi won't be pleased.

Hehehe yeah that little guy looks meaner than some of my best guys. You gotta watch the short guys like him, they wanna fight the fuckin world. They all got chips on their shoulders.

Who the fuck are you callin Joe, asshole? You can me Corrado, Junior, Jun, or better still, Sir. Call me Joe again and we have a problem my friend. I don't like sayin so, but this Stu Monky asshole has a point. Makin jokes about a guys nationality is fuckin outta order, it makes me real fuckin mad. It's unacceptable, it aint big and it ain't fuckin clever. That's all I'm gonna say on the matter. By the way, did you guys hear about the Chinese guy who goes to the doctor with an eye problem? Doctor says "I've worked out the problem, you have a cataract." Chinese guy says "No I don't, I have Rincon Continental" Hehehe