Alan Sex

That’s all good, but can he do it on a dirty weekend in Skegness?

Puyol? It’s pronounced “Poo-hole”.

Nice. Did she give you lightbulb head?

Just binged Shoresy. Fuckin 10/10 Eh! give yer balls a tug and get this watched.

What if I use the Ajax as lube as well?

It doesn’t interest me at all. English is my first language, so I don’t require English as a Second Language courses.

I’ve got no way to watch this one - just my phone with me. Anyone got any suggestions? I am looking forward to sitting by a nice picturesque stream for a few hours.

Sounds like the right socks to me.

Two in the pink and three at the back.

Who wipes their chimney?

I think his head is spinning and he’s overwhelmed at the scope of his move to us. could take a season to come good - maybe never will. I’m hoping he hits a run of form, bags a few goals, and goes on to great things with us - not convinced on the small sample size we’ve seen.

What you meant to say was ”you had me at two in the back, you won me forever with three in the back”. Just remember to lube each of the fingers. But not too much lube or you’ll just make a fist of it.

Worst porn film ever. Still managed to make it work.

She obviously was once, but can do things with a walker that you can’t even imagine.

Firm yet supple. I’d give it a 3 out of 3 minutes.

@Fugitive I’m outside your window right now, checking your grammar.

Someone I know on Facebook just posted this abomination- complete with all the tears and gives me goosebumps cliches. It gives me the grammar twitches and makes me a little sick inside. Some of it may have come outside. #Queen Phillip came to me today, and said it was time to go. I looked at him and smiled, as i whispered that "I know" I then turned and looked behind me, and seen I was asleep. All my Family were around me, and I could hear them weep. I gently touched each shoulder, with Phillip by my side. Then I turned away and walked, with My Angel guide. Phillip held my hand, as he lead the way, to a world where King's and Queens, are Monarch's every day. I was given a crown to wear or a Halo known by some. The difference is up here, they are worn by everyone. I felt a sense of peace, my reign had seen its end. 70 years I had served my Country, as the peoples friend. Thank you for the years, for all your time and love. Now I am one of two again, in our Palace up above. J.Boyle (heartfelt)

The worst part of all this, is that Morrissey is in for a huge windfall from residuals.

Cripes. They absolutely have us bent over the couch and are running a train on us.

I misread the title. How would Murphy know if VVD is having a wank? Was he suggesting a Van Dijk OF page to supplement income?

Can’t believe this is still happening in this day and age. Especially Mac users. I’m sure some of you may have some info here.

On fartbook, seeing all the parents posting their kids going back to school is fine - so many of them have written “they grow up to fast”. I plan on feeding mine.

I am. And I do.

Clitford the big red dog

Why can’t I picture him without a cloth cap?