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If anyone can read this without spitting coffee all over their keyboard, they're a better man than me: The New Dixie Dean Fax

Are they really all wearing matching Reebok classics ???? Fax

Sounds like someone's come home to find their missus being Igored. Move on lad - it's happened to us all...

Just hope that none of them get injured and leave us in dire straits :whistle:

And he's probably still seething after Igor slipped his missus one at the weekend :laugh:

I'm off the bookies first thing to put my house on us winning 6-0 at the weekend. Three of them will be offside, two won't cross the line and the sixth will deflect in off a passing seagull. Just what the fuck have we done to deserve a run of luck like this?

Currently doing analytical work for a consultancy that helps airports to obtain new air routes. So if anyone's got a two mile long stretch of tarmac in their garden that they're not sure what to do with, give me a call and we'll see if we can get a 747 in there for you. Work's fairly boring but as far as I can tell, there's no internet monitoring here which suits me down to the ground. *sits back and waits for inevitable dismissal*

And when Igor screams at the police "I've had all yer daughters", will they just put their hands in their pockets and mutter "fair enough, like" ?

Mmm, hadn't thought of that. Maybe Exlax would have him instead - A Brown-McBain CB partnership would contain enough facial colouring to baffle most opposition forwards.

Surely McBain off the Simpsons could do a job for us at centre back- built like a brick shithouse, with the sort of no-nonsense hairdo that all good CBs used to have ?

Yep, Sky just confirmed it's their game of the day. Starts about 830 I believe. Fax

Oh great - coffee spat all over my keyboard and its only 9am :thumbup: Seriously though, they may be onto something here with an election not far away. Imagine an entire party turning up to PM's Question Time wearing comedy oversized specs - Tory bastards or not, I'd vote them in on entertainment value alone...

I'm more intrigued by this Mexican tapir that we're to roast at sunrise in order to toast the rafalution. Does it taste like chicken, NP ?

Cracking game, shite atmosphere. Probably didn't help that the stadium seemed to be three quarters full of camera-toting day trippers...like me, for example. Interesting warm up though - while the first XI plus subs had a practice game in the centre circle, Mickey was on his own out on the wing, booting balls to no-one in particular and looking for all the world like the kid at school who always got picked last. And yes. I was that kid. Fax

Slightly off topic this, but I'm off to Madrid tomorrow with work and wouldn't mind seeing their C.L game with Roma on Tuesday night. Does anyone on here know how much their general sale tickets go for (assuming there are any that is) ? Fax

Totally agree JS. I've lost count of the times that people in work have taken me for some sort of lunatic whenever I tell them that no, I won't be watching the England game with them, and that no, I don't really give a flying one whether 'we' win lose or draw. Maybe this'll make 'em understand....

Wonder who they'll have to sell to pay for the banners ?

"CPRE also feel that an increase of 15,000 extra fans will create severe traffic congestion, parking and road safety problems in an area already problematic with football related traffic. ------------- Ah, but that's not taking into consideration the 15,000 or so blueshite who'll stop going once they get relegated, which means we'll be pretty much where we were congestion-wise. So not only will it make our lives more peaceful when they go down, they'll also be doing their bit for the environment ;-)

Just found this on BBC News: Josemi joins Liverpool It's what I've always dreamed about Josemi Liverpool have signed defender Josemi from Malaga for £2m. Reds boss Rafael Benitez revealed the news after his side's 5-1 pre-season win over Celtic in the US. "Josemi signed earlier on Monday," said Benitez. "I know this player and he is good in defence, good in the air and can make this team stronger." The 24-year-old is understood to have signed a four-year-deal with Liverpool and is Benitez's first signing as manager at the club. And Benitez hinted there could be more to follow. "For me it is important that we have good players and it does not matter what nationality they are," added Benitez. "Perhaps I know the Spanish market better than others but we have good scouts all around the world so if good players become available then we will sign them." Liverpool 5-1 Celtic Prior to signing Josemi said: "I am really happy because this is an unbeatable opportunity. If I was ever going to leave Malaga, it was for something like this." Josemi, real name Jose Miguel Gonzales Rey, began his career at Torremolinos and can play right-back or centre-back. I'm always a bit wary of players that can supposedly play in more than one position From He shoots Have your say on 606 He added: "I was speaking to Benitez, he has put his faith in me and I will work to make sure things turn out well. It was an offer I couldn't refuse. "Now everybody has to be happy, because it's a proud moment for everybody connected with me. "I wasn't expecting the move, but this has all happened in two days and everything has worked out in an instant. "For me, it's what I've always dreamed about and now I have the chance to play in a big team, I have to take advantage of it. "I still haven't taken it in and when I get there I will try to adapt bit by bit. I have to adapt well and be patient."

Saw him playing for Philips All Stars in the Hong Kong Sevens last week - never mind Bob Balder we're talking Bob Baldest these days. Having said that, he stopped two pens in the shoot out to win them the game, so his knees obviusly haven't gone just yet..

I found out about the site though reading the fanzine, although never got round to posting anything until recently. I'd agree with what's been mentioned elsewhere - that the match reports, comments and opinions on here contain far more insight and entertainment value than anything you find on either the offal or in national papers.

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[ Dead right. And lets hope, too, that we can put an end to the fighting, bickering and toy-throwing that's been going on here ever since this Stevie G fiasco came to light. We're all Reds, we all want the title back, and whatever you think about how he and the club have handled all this, holding grudges or conducting a latter-day Spanish inquisition isn't going to help our cause. With Rafa in and Stevie staying, Heskey out and Meeeeeelan taking the Euros by storm, I for one am more excited by the new season than I have been in years...