Colonel Bumcunt

Don't get that mate, the ground our full backs cover is vast, they aren't lazy. Trent has it all, it he bulks up a bit and gets the right coaching then he can be a brilliant physically dominant midfielder. Just let him wander around like KDB does, pops up wherever he likes.

The closest thing there is to KDB in terms of chance creation. Any other manager builds a midfield around him. Chances are he doesn't sign a new contract now, let's be really honest here.

All that coaching, you'd hope we'd have a better plan than to try and focus all shots through the bottleneck of the 'D' on the edge of the area where Everton have 4 men at all times.

Perhaps fortuitous Klopp is leaving, yanno, we're approaching question mark territory across the past 2 years now. We all get to clap him out, rather than what might have developed next year. Fuckinell, just watching Gomez and Tsimikas come on now, just looking at poor Jayden Dann's face on the bench. This isn't the same manager that first came here.

Klopp trying to turn around a 2-0 loss by bringing on Elliott, Endo and Quansah. Read it back to yourself.

Yep, pure shite. But wait, Klopps solution is to put the equally redundant Elliott on. Again. For the 50th time, as if one day he turns into Pedri.

I'm actually not arsed now, quite looking forward to being shit actually, taking joy from small moments game to game rather than having an unrealistic trophy expectation to find joy. It's not even joy at that point, it's relief. I'm looking forward to some big changes in players, I'm so devoid of excitement looking at our squad. It's criminal really. Gravenberch, Gakpo, Szoboszlai, Endo, Nunez, Jota, Elliott, Jones, Salah, Tsimikas, I'm falling asleep just thinking about them. It doesn't .after who comes in, they've been lobbed a hand grenade. Maybe Slot is a controlled explosion, a cheap and expendable fall-guy to oversee a year of churn. This summer he loses experienced dressing figures in Thiago, Matip and Adrian. We possibly sell Salah. Next summer we lose Van Dijk and Trent on frees. We're also down to the final year for Robbie and Konate, we may sell. By all means, paint me a brighter picture.

It's Arsenal, of course he's fucking injured. Of course he is.

If we had a player like Odegaard we'd win everything. I'm betting that City go big for him.

If Arsenal had signed Artur Melo and Aquilani they'd have both played 40 games this season.

Unreal luck for Arsenal this season. Hard to take them seriously if they don't win the league, they'll never ever be given such a set of fortuitous circumstances to win a title again.

P 278 W 109 D 78 L 83 40% win Shite from Gerrard. Hold on, sorry that's Klopp at Mainz.

Fuuuuck that nonsense. He's a Liverpool legend, the Villa fans were singing songs about him slipping on his arse 5 years earlier, there was never a chance of it working for him at any other PL club. It's like us appointing John Terry as manager.

I'm starting to think big decisions are being affected by the TV series. Eg, if there was no TV series being made then I don't think Klopp announces his retirement early. They couldn't make a series and then the end credits say 'Klopp announced his retirement the following month'. Juggling potential names for new manager seems to be part of the plotline. Mourinho in the stands is a classic twist.