ElishaScottBC

He was great at Stoke to be fair...

Can't understand it either myself, a ref possessed haha. *actually on re-watching it was him making a shit joke about getting up off of the fence

Ah oui!

Praise to Sturridge, King of Destiny!

Ah sure it's nothing, next he'll be surprised at how quickly Daniel Sturridge can get a hat-trick after returning from injury, Ian Ayre will appear in a cold dressing room, laughing in plain sight at Laudrup's surprise before mounting his shoulders forcing people to take pictures. Swansea and Laudrup will be humbled on this fateful day.

"Hi folks, I'm Great British soccer commentator Michael Owen and after eating 10 fairy cakes I checked my sugar levels, only then did I notice Liverpool was in my blood." "Beeeeeeeeeee Teeeeeeeeeeee Spuuuuuuuuuurt!!!!!"

The World's Greatest Michael Owen App (Especially good for bored kids attending live matches!!!) "My App automatically updates when I add exclusive audio and video clips which I record on my iPhone. All my tweets and photos are also available on the App in real-time which will hopefully give you a real insight into my life. The app also delves back into the timeline of my career with articles and videos of some of my personal highlights along the way. My aim is to continue adding content and new features including a MOments section with videos of my favourite players, favourite goals etc ". Features of this free App include: News: • Video: exclusive video content, including footage filmed by me. • Audio Messages: short personal audio messages from me as I comment on the ‘beautiful game’ and my passions away from football. Photos: Professional and personal photos. Tweets: Read, reply and ‘retweet’ my tweets as they happen. Bio: A look back at my career from the very beginning. MichaelOwen.com: Direct access to my official website. Competitions: Exclusive competitions to win great personalised prizes. You'd be bloody mad not to download it. Introduce your child to Michael today!!!

Let me get you a time machine wonder-woman

Hi sally-ann, my condolences on your embarrassment, Liverpool FC has nothing to be embarrassed about. Fans like this representing Liverpool.

Johnston Sturridge Henderson

I thought the whole squad put in a performance worthy of praise. Coutinho took a few knocks but stood tall the whole time. People make a deal out of his weight, yet as proven again today it wasn't him leaving the pitch injured. Coutinho is boss!

Van Piss and Giggs both tried it, what was the result; goodbye Phil Jones. What did I say? Cout's a boss

The Manc bastards are some dirty bastards, getting on like some rebore lite stoke team. Van Piss should be off, what the flying fuck

If Lucas had to stop Coutinho battering N'Zonzi what do you think he'll do to Ferdinand you pack of marlboro lites Moyes is crying in his cave rubbing two sticks together but there's no bright spark.

Thanks Numero my powers of deduction are sufficiently low this sunday afternoon and you genuinely helped me there. Next drink is to your health, cheers.

Isn't it funny how Bale is an angel for trying to force his way out and the media go easy on him, Suarez is in a constant state of crazed madness in the media, a fantasy some of the mungo jerrys on here want to entertain daily. Suarez is our No.7, his desire on the pitch is rarely matched. Kill the gossip, support the team and support the players. YNWA

Do you have any idea why it was called that? Strangely the first thought I had reading the thread title was "stick it in the back of the onion" that used to make me laugh, but I had no idea if it's a football cliche or just the strange man in a long overcoat barking batshit phrases because he's in an environment that encourages shouting.

goodnight sweet prince

Luis Suarez is a world class Liverpool player that has been hounded by the British press since he arrived in England. The daily slurs in tabloids and online seem to have convinced some of our fans. I can't wait to see him back on the pitch banging in wonder goals for us. What will be the next ploy whenever we get Champions League next season?

take a shit on the phone, that should suffice.

SD do you work for the immigration office and are you suggesting Mr Oldfield shit in your face? Dirty dog

Well I'd suggest looking up football forums to help people solve their first world problems and let them shoot down your advice. Will you stick that in your depository of wasted time?

Mate don't give up so easily. Life isn't too short, it's the longest thing you'll know. I recommend some low level degreaser, mixed with 35cl of glens vodka and a small amount car battery acid, make sure to pour it all straight into the bbq and not spill it out the sides, then let it sit for 6 and half minutes before power hosing. you'll be back shrimpin barbies like toadfish on a sunny ramsay street in no time. may you have a long and prosperous life champ

wee napoli bench sniffer

mardy bum