bouncebrigade

I hope Garry Monk's hair gets tossed.

Chances are it will be a game of two halves.

Apart from getting twatted by City, United and Chelsea.

Who does Matic think he is? The Kaiser?

A Most Violent Year. Top Drawer. 9/10.

Martin Skrtel once ordered a Big Mac in Burger King and got it.

Trying to decide between cheese and onion and salt and vinegar crisps when standing at the bar. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth until the words have been spoken.

Chuck Norris wears Martin Skrtel pyjamas.

I've nothing against rugby, per se. However, I am convinced that a high proportion of people who talk about it and go to the matches are spoofers, just doing it for a social standing or work related reasons. I've heard a fella at work here on the phone talking about it and, seriously, a monkey could have given more insight into the upcoming Six Nations matches than he just did.

Would they not be better off in the Southern Indian Ocean?

Dublin traffic is an ugly beast.

I clicked in thinking they might have found it. Should have known better.

Why do some Chelsea fans have an Algerian flag? Surely not a taunt.

Just not Porto.

At least Cavani is now central.

When you hear of lawyers in London doing coke, it sort of sounds glamorous (if a bit sad). Lawyers in Blackburn doing coke paints an entirely different picture.

Not a picture, but this is definitely worth 27 seconds of your time:

How do you explain your wife's neck the other week?

Next month's entry in this category: US Masters wankers.

Cheltenham wankers. That is, people who don't talk about racing from one end of the year to the next except for this week.

People who spit their chewing gum into a urinal, or down the toilet for that matter. I mean, there's more than likely a bin within five yards of you. Why not just use that.

Note to Danny Murphy: It doesn't matter if a foul starts outside the box, if it continues inside then it's a penalty.

Last night's analysis was pathetic. They clearly had a script and boy were they sticking to it. The script being that Blackburn were amazing yesterday and Liverpool just weren't at it. This extended to them saying that not one of Liverpool's four or five penalty claims were legitimate. It is possible to praise the underdog while also admitting that they might have got a bit fortunate with one or two decisions.

Tony in "not being arsed about something" shocker.

Pizza in Grimaldi's just off the Brooklyn Bridge. Touristy but worth doing.