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ISeeRed

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  1. ISeeRed

    Drugs

    ISeeRed posted a topic in GF - General Forum

    I've never taken them (apart from alcohol and tobacco, of course), but I kind of imagine this is a bit what it's like... YooouuuTuuube
  2. ISeeRed
    Here lies a method actor auditioning for a part in The Vanishing
  3. ISeeRed
    Is it pics of all your ex's?
  4. ISeeRed
    Men should never, ever shave any part of their bodies in public, apart from the chin. I think we all saw that awful David Dickenson guy attacking his bollocks with a razor on 'I'm a nonentity desperate for a career boost, get me out of here' the other year, and it certainly wasn't pretty.
  5. ISeeRed
    Yup! 'Bell Bottomed Tear' is the dog's carefully shaved & freshly talculm-powdered bollocks. Paul Heaton not only has a great voice, but also a very severe case of OCD. Does things like obsessively collect stickers from comics and writes a top 10 pop songs in his diary every week, or something. Makes him more human in my book & I like the guy. TBS's greatest hits was the fastest selling album in UK history (I think) but I don't detect any arrogance about him. They wrote great melodies and down-to-earth lyrics. And I once pulled a bird at a party about 20 yrs ago trying to show her how to do that Mud 'Tiger Feet' type dance they did on the Happy Hour video...
  6. ISeeRed
    video Musical Porno Starring Jenna Haze! - porn, sex, spoof - videos Monkey NSFW. Made me laugh, anyway. Apologies if it's been posted before.
  7. ISeeRed
    I've heard of people 'getting wood' under anaesthetic, but this is ridiculous... Hopefully it was fake fir. It's just not acceptable to be seen with real fir these days.
  8. ISeeRed
    I do believe this is the most humane way to deal with the issue in hand:
  9. ISeeRed
    Is that a Jackson Pollock painting of an arse?
  10. ISeeRed
    Here's a reasonably tasty-looking fat bird...
  11. ISeeRed
    Don't know if this has been posted before... LoserTube: Exhibitionism. Cretinous Prattle. ...but the 'Goth' one at the top is particularly funny when the cat comes on. Further down the page, the 'Family Splatters' one is, er, interesting... They get all set up to film bursting the guy's boil, the woman's wearing gloves & has tissues to hand, then he won't let her do it, then they put it on the internet??
  12. ISeeRed
    Treason, by Teardrop Explodes is an undiscovered classic, if that's not a contradiction in terms.
  13. ISeeRed
    I came across Frank Skinner's heaven and hell - Telegraph this today and have to say some of his holiday tips seem quite sound. I like that idea of going on holiday with your partner and taking it in turns to plan each day & not telling each other what's in store. I also saw him doing stand up last year (I think it was), and can report that he is very sound on the subject of granny porn.
  14. ISeeRed
    I read in the paper yesterday that women have three main tactics for winning arguments/disputes with their partners: 1. Crying 2. Witholding sex 3. Sulking So I would suggest this Delilah lady was probably doing one of the three.
  15. ISeeRed

    Joke!

    ISeeRed replied to HATCH's topic in GF - General Forum

    A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm "I'd like to buy a horth" He says to the owner of the farm. "What sort of horse?" said the owner. "A female horth" the dwarf replies. So the owner shows him a mare. "Nithe horth." says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyeth?" So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes. "Nithe eyeth.", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her teeth?" Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth. "Nithe teeth.... can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says. By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears. "Nithe eerth.' he says 'Now...can I see her twot?" With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves his head deep inside the horses vagina. He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and putting him down. The dwarf shakes his head and says: "Perhaps I should weefwaze that... "Can I see her wun awound?""
  16. ISeeRed
    Fucking hell! Was going to post my Jimmy Case story, but you win.
  17. ISeeRed
    Embarassingly begged in public for the England job. Originally rejected the Blackburn job because he mistakenly thought he was too good for them. Gives the impression of one who spends far too much time in front of the mirror. Was on the Sky Sports Helen Chamberlain prog last Sat am telling us all how great he is. A vomit-inducing wanker.
  18. ISeeRed
    Beautifully put. I'd rep you, but I'm new round here and seem to have lost repping ability due to a few stuff ups resulting in multiple neggings on the GF.
  19. ISeeRed
    I never feel totally comfortable dropping the kids off at the pool away from home, but the other day I was at a motorway service station bog and went into a cubicle to be confronted by something like this: Clearly, the guy before me had carefully placed individual sheets of bog roll on the seat to avoid...what? Does the bloke also put on gloves when touching door handles in public buildings? Anyway, what do you do when going for a dump in a public bog? Put paper on the seat? Squat and send your turds into the bowl from a great height and risk arse-splashing? Or do you just sit down, shit, and not worry about it?
  20. ISeeRed
    I was listening to Dylan's Radio 2 show the other week and he played Nick Lowe's 'Half A Boy And Half A Man,' which is a very breezy 2-3 minutes long. Dylan said, 'There's a man who had something to say and didn't need to write a rock opera to say it.' Quality comment. Here's a link to the YouTube vid of the Nick Lowe song, which I defy you to watch without a tiny hint of a smile creeping across your face (I don't seem to be able to embed YouTube vids for some reason :(). Anyway, I love the organ sound on this track - it's very end-of-the-pier. Nick Lowe also looks disarmingly like that guy from Kunt And The Gang: YouTube - Nick Lowe Half a Boy and Half a Man
  21. ISeeRed
    I heard 'Positively 4th Street' on the radio the other day. It remains fucking awesome. Great lyrics: You got a lotta nerve To say you are my friend When I was down You just stood there grinning You got a lotta nerve To say you got a helping hand to lend You just want to be on The side that's winning I wish that for just one time You could stand inside my shoes Then you'd know what a drag it is To see you
  22. ISeeRed
    RIP Didn't his career nose-dive after he did a series called 'Bennett Bites Back,' in which he interviewed celebs and actually asked them difficult questions? I think it lasted for just a few editions before guests started refusing to appear. I seem to remember he also got all his teeth knocked out at a charity cricket match after being smacked in the mouth by a bouncer.
  23. ISeeRed
    Simon Callow is one of the worst offenders. I heard him on the radio the other day talking with Ian McKellern and Patrick Stewart about a play they are doing together. It was basically an exercise in verbal cock sucking.
  24. ISeeRed
    This is not right.
  25. ISeeRed
    I'm currently indulging in one of these: It's not the worst culinary experience I've ever had. I normally go for chicken tikka masala, but this is just as good.
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