Lurtz

I'm finding a lot of it pretty dull and repetitive now tbh. The commentary team have been well briefed on telling us over and over again that the Crucible is the grestest snooker venue on the planet. Every other shot / frame is the best Stephen Hendry has ever seen, Doherty and Virgo proclaiming every 2 minutes that both players are "playing the very highest quality snooker". Of course they are, it's the last 4 of the world championship you tits. Seems to have slowed right down in the semis too. Here's hoping Wilson gets done quickly. Not sure I can stomach any more of Jones so here's to a Bingham v Wilson final with some big scores.

Good god. They're singing "you lost the league at goodison park" whilst playing Luton away. It's going to get an airing in every game, every season isn't it, despite the fact it's not true. Fucking hell I hope they go bust. I will laugh myself into a coma.

I don't recall ever disliking any of our home kits. Until now. Thats just fucking awful. Don't these pricks have focus groups where they can get fan feedback on designs?

Jak Jones is one boring fucker.

Simon Bates over here. Yeah you're correct though. My mistake!

A bit of quality Kirsty triv: In 1979 Kirsty MacColl was in a band called The Drug Addix. Stiff Records auditioned them but didn't like them. Shortly after, Kirsty left the band. Stiff Records heard about that and contacted her saying they didn't like the band but they liked her and could she come into a meeting the next day with a demo tape. She had nothing at the time, though she'd told Stiff that she had loads of material. So she hurriedly wrote "They Don't Know", recorded it with an acoustic guitar onto a cassette and went to see Stiff Records the next day. They signed her on the strength of that one song. She then fell out with one of the execs at Stiff who halted pressings of the record out of spite, so it was never the hit it should have been despite massive air play. The 7" vinyl is still quite a rarity today. Tracey Ullman recorded the song in 1983, one of Pete Waterman's early protégées. Ullman was quite famous at the time and Waterman had heard she could sing a bit and so saw pound signs. It went to #2 in the UK and was only kept off #1 by Culture Club's "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" The line "bay-e-be-ee" in one of the choruses was sung by Kirsty MacColl because Ullman couldn't hit the note. I thank you.

Smoked haddock at 4am? Pervert.

Never heard of the cunt.

I'd quite like every single one of you omelette-mocking cunts to make one and post a picture of it on here. Let's see if your efforts resemble Michelin Star scran shall we? This isn't BBC Good Food magazine. David fucking Bailey wouldn't have been able to create a decent image of an omelette if he took the photo on a smartphone either. Twats.

Garnacho £92m HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Oh hello, we've got a foreign name though. Marcus Arduini Monzo. Coming over here. With his sword.

Dr. Zeuss over here.

Bloke in norf London been a bit stabby this morning apparently.

Who's that blonde Welsh milfy bit who does some of the presenting? Bloody lovely izzenit.

Those last 2 frames were worthy of a final. Incredible stuff. Made up for Higgins too.

Enjoyed Baby Reindeer 7/10 Tried Red Eye. Fucked it off halfway through E3. Shite.

I wanted to lose a stone quickly. Mate of mine suggested knock carbs on the head for a while. I'm 2 weeks in now, I've lost about 10lbs. Eating loads of fruit and veg. I've always liked veg so that's easy. Making loads of nice soups, plenty of eggs and other protein and I feel good. I had fish & chips on Friday as a treat and felt like shit afterwards. I'll stick with it for a bit. Once it warms up I'll be out on my bike working on losing the rest of the weight I want to lose but eating like this really helps. I miss toast massively, and pasta especially, and of course beer but I'll allow myself carb days once a week or so. I'm not on a diet per sê, just being more careful. I'd recommend it to anyone.

Ground almonds. https://girleatsworld.co.uk/keto-cake/ Edit: Oh I see, you mean it needs custard? Yeah possibly.

Low carb cake. Dead easy to put together and tasty as fuck.

The chilli flakes in the omelette are the sun dried type that you see all over in Turkey. Perfect for chucking in with omelettes.

That Doku is shite.

Cooked it. With chilli flakes and mixed herbs.