Jarvinja Ilnow

Paisley learned from Shanks's mistake being loyal. Ferguson learned from Paisley. Klopp is more Shanks than Paisley: in itself not a bad thing at all. Paisley is the one king to rule them all.

LFC management should take a leaf out of A Place in the Sun's squad depth. If Jasmine Harman pulls a hamstring in the Majorca fixture, Danni Menzies is match fit and ready for the Algarve. Danni drops in form, and the bench has riches like Scarlette Douglas, or Laura Hamilton (both home grown) to call on. The succession plan transition from Amanda Lamb via Jonnie Irwin, through to Ben Hillman was seamless.

Ask Lifey.

Employers can be right bastards when it comes to cancer because cancer is something we hide from - even to the point of being a heartless bitch like your boss seems to have been. Before cancer took people in my family, and then I got it, I remember wishing people would stop talking about it. But it fucking exists, and I'm so glad we have this thread. I wonder if other posters feel the sense of dread I do when I open the thread. I don't really know any of you but cancer is a fucking bastard, and I dread hearing one of you, or one of your close ones have it. Best wishes, Ted.

I bet you like Alan Partridge as well, Dave.

He can't yet say in English "Martin Tyler is a cunt". Until then use Dr Becker's husband.

Maybe he's a bit nervous speaking English in case people laugh at him. A bit like Harry Kane.

Three points and I got to tell Tony Moanero how to create the perfect scone. Good times.

I'm really happy he scored - a bit like when Richarlison thought he'd changed the game for Spurs against us last season. A glimpse of hero status, then back down to crappy earth.

Of course, silly.

With great respect, Tone, that's a stupid argument to have. You separate the scone halves, put jam on one side and cream on the other (simultaneously) then bring the halves together. Schrodinger's Scone.

Is there anyone on here who wouldn't take a cyclist's head off if he did that to you/ your wife/ kids?

I'm ok if we sell him - as long as the price makes even the Saudis cry a bit. At least we can then go back to four-four-fucking-two. And Wagon Wheels at the right size.

Great passion. You need a bit of that.

Charley was a fucking pervert who didn't like sharing. Thank god, Operation Yewtree finally nailed the tabby bastard.

Nothing like as bad as some of the tortures featured on this thread, but I had a hip biopsy before my cancer was diagnosed. Even with local anasthetic it made my thigh cramp up - the pain was worse than when I a pulled hamstring. Not painful as such, but really uncomfortable, was Intrathecal Chemotherapy: you don't feel the pain but you feel the needle going inbetween your spine. Sometimes they can't find a route - on one occasion two doctors tried seven times before they gave up. I was shitting it in case they damaged the spinal cord because they were getting frustrated. I had eleven spinal taps in the end and one failed attempt. No two were actually the same, apart from the discomfort.

That is their loss and my victory.

Just flounce off. You know you want to.

You need to do better.

Most of those 9,339 will be slaves, 'house servants' and paid clappers.

This one of you lot on the BBC? Great name. Ross Bone: At what point is it acceptable to start saying “you fear for Everton, you really do”?

So Ping is better than Calloway? (not a golfer - 132 around Arrowe Park as a kid).

SALAH AKHBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!

Are you available for weeding out shite players? 8am start on Monday, at Kirkby.

Not this time