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Harry Squatter

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Everything posted by Harry Squatter

  1. Harry Squatter
    Love the way we've derailed this thread from whether you've banged a Lion Tamer or a Cleaner to how slaggy Yank women are!
  2. Harry Squatter
    The bird who lives next door to me had her Conservatory smashed in last night (no, not a euphamism for bum sex) and some scalls got in and robbed a stereo and a telly. The 2 houses on the other side of mine and 2 across the street have been burgled recently. I'm worried that my house will get done at some point, think that someone is doing some recon on my road and the only reason ours hasn't been done yet is because the lights are always on and there appears to be movement (our kids wake up a lot during the night). Has anyone been burgled or had any altercations with burglars?. I have taken some steps to defend myself if it happens. A guy I played footy with once had boiling water thrown over him when he came down in his boxies with a baseball bat. My sister in law got a warning off the police 3 years ago as her dog mauled a burglar, but the police told her that she should put up a "beware of the dog" sign and showed no real interest in prosecuting the offender.
  3. Harry Squatter
    It's weird isn't it?, I wonder how mixed race marriages are pted over there sometimes. I think I was just on the border myself, the whole "bar scene" in america is weird - they'd make you pay if you never had ID and if you never owned your own car you'd be looked on as a peasant. Not sure what the drink-driving rate is over there but a lot of people left bars to drive when they were properly blitzed. O yeah, and I agree, skiing is shite!
  4. Harry Squatter
    Me and mate who is black were in a bar in Lake Tahoe and started vhatting to two birds who were from Seattle. She said "If you two guys lived here you'd fucking hate each other as black people hate whites". She then wanted to buy me drink because I didn't differentiate between black and white friends.
  5. Harry Squatter
    Me and my brother met 5 American birds in a pub in Rome and we just kept telling them stupid jokes and taking the piss - managed to convince them that Dublin was the world's biggest capital city as the population keeps "Dublin and Dublin". They just thought that the way we talked (and swore) was hilarious - I love American women.
  6. Harry Squatter
    The guy who used to be in Brookside called Danny McCall, he was in loads of shite other stuff after he left in the west end and daytime telly. Me and my mates were playing in a footy tournament in London and went over the road to get some post game beer from Tesco - he was walking round doing his shopping and one of my mates recognised him and tried talking to him about Barry Grant and Jimmy Corkhill but he talked in a voice desperately trying to pretend he wasn't from Liverpool then kept walking off saying "ok lads you've had your fun now, now fuck off and let me do my shopping" He basically thought he was some Hollywood A-lister, he's probably stacking shelves in that Tesco today.
  7. Harry Squatter
    It's weird, some of the birds i've been with if I was out and tried chatting them up I think that I would have been laughed at. One woman I worked on for 6 months before she gave in, I think if I went up to her in the pub she wouldn't have even talked to me. It's almost liek a paedophile's "grooming" process!. One girl I worked with brought her mate out with us one night and she wouldn't give me the time of day yet she started in our place about 4 months later and I got to know her pretty well - 3 months after she had started I'd banged her! Yes, American birds are boss, you can just be dead up front with them and your accent is a novelty to them, I'll get myself over there then!
  8. Harry Squatter
    I think if I'd never worked with a lot of women or had a job that I meet a lot of women in it I think I'd still be a virgin. Not really one to go and chat up tons of women when I'm out, the majority of women I've shagged are women through work or that I've known for quite a long time or their friends. The few I've managed to sleep with who I've met while I've been out are when I've been gassed out of my mind and wouldn't even remember being rejected.
  9. Harry Squatter
    Bommy Turns
  10. Harry Squatter
    Some guy in our work reckons he has fallen out with Dalglish since the League Cup Final after refusing to take a penalty against Cardiff and he was quite "restrained" in his celebrations at the end of the shootout. Watched a lot of LFC.tv recently and they had access to the dressing room celebrations after the game, he is nowhere to be seen.
  11. Harry Squatter
    At least 15 Civil Servants Interpreter Hotel Receptionist Barmaid Call centre staff Teacher Nursery worker Solicitor Nurse Sales Assistant Oxfam Shop Manager Purchasing manager Single unemployed Mothers Me and my mate had a foursome with two 19 year old utter filthbags who were "Nail Technicians", massive utter slags, even my mate who has shagged tons of utter slags was shocked by them. We picked them up outside the Liver in South Road, Waterloo as we were about to go home after a shit night out. After they had fucked off we just sat there for 10 minutes silent shaking our heads at how filthy they were. Apparently they had only worked with each other for a month yet we got them doing all kinds to each other in his living room. Some lad we worked with in a detention centre shagged one of the female security guards, there were only 3 and teh other 2 were butch lesbians who looked like Robbie Keane and Steven Gerrard. Luckily he did the 3rd one who was actually quite alright.
  12. Harry Squatter
    9 a side worked well the other week, fast paced game that never let up. Any more than 9 a side and the pitch would be more cramped than the Phantom Zone in Superman.
  13. Harry Squatter
    One of my mates went out with some proper battleaxe a few years ago, she was fucking ugly as well so its not like she was fit and was messing him round in the knowledge he always wanted to bang her. She'd always be ringing him up checking where he was and who he was with, he seemed to be made up with the attention as she was his first proper girlfriend. I sat off in his flat once and she called the landline - I just answered the phone messing about "Hello Kirkby police station?" and she went off on a big massive rant saying the flat was being burgled and she was going to phone the bizzies. I said "it;s just a joke, here's Tony". She proceeded to go off her head non stop about my "prank" and told him to get me to leave the flat!!!. Every time I met him he would say "Oh she's still not happy with you about you answering our phone and messing about". I asked him if he ever did anything serious what her reaction woukd be given that I did this horrible nasty thing over 2 years ago. She finally caught up with me in a pub in South Road and threatened to knock me out and told me to stop meeting my mate!. I told her to get a fucking life and stop being a neurotic bitch, she then tried to punch me but was restrained by 2 other people!!! He fucked her off about 6 months later for someone else, bet she is still plotting to kill him now!
  14. Harry Squatter
    Lad I work with is constantly moaning about his missus, she rings him up during the day giving him orders and telling him to get shopping on the way home even though she is calling from home and could easily get off her arse and do it herself. She spends most of his money then moans saying she is skint all the time yet won't go back to work full time. They had an argument about paying for petrol and she has banned him from using the car and cancelled him off the insurance so he can no longer drive the car. She tells him to go shopping but won't put him back on the insurance so he has to either get a cab or walk back with a ton of shopping because she is so petty. He said he wants to fuck her off but is scared that she'll be more of a twat if they split up - especially over him seeing his kids.
  15. Harry Squatter
    The barman said it was him who had wrecked the fusebox for the bog lights and that if he ever saw him in there again he'd fill him in.
  16. Harry Squatter
    He was signing autographs in the Echo building in January, he looks like a cross between Sloth from the Goonies and Heather from Eastenders.
  17. Harry Squatter
    Balaclavas and rings
  18. Harry Squatter
    My mate used to be a bouncer in Concert Square and said that the birds were ten times worse than fellas if you needed to throw them out, they'd get up on the tables kicking him, then try biting, gouging their eyes and scratching them to bits. They'd always get complaints the next day that they had sexually assaulted them or groped them trying to throw them out. Add that to to the threats of "my fella is gonna come back and shoot you/kick your head in/bum you" which were standard every night of the week.
  19. Harry Squatter
    Has anyone ever been to the Bidston Arms in Bidston?. We had it on our pub crawl itinerary but got warned not to go there as it has only just had a 3 year ban on serving alcohol in glasses lifted. My mates work colleague got his wallet taken then threatened with a Stanley knife when he tried to get it back from the pickpocket.
  20. Harry Squatter
    Sounds genius, like a version of the old Crosby Squash Club on steroids!
  21. Harry Squatter
    From the brief time I was there I would tend to agree with you - and I live in Huyton!!
  22. Harry Squatter
    Prescot isn't that bad really, it's got a few old man's pubs like the Sun Inn, Tommy Halls and the Clock Face (which is quite nice), the Deanes Hotel is a big pub but no one ever seems to go in there. The Hope & Anchor is a bit scruffy and the the bar/restaurant over the road gets quite lively at night. The Fusilier is a bit rough and populated by wools who want to be scallies. The Red Lion is awful though and everyone in there is a scruffy cunt, not really surprising as it's a scruffy pub. The other pub opposite the Deanes hotel (can't remember the name) gets a bit lively on a saturday night but I've never seen any grief in there. As for Huyton, most of teh pubs seem to be closing, The Quiet Man got demolished and the Boundary (that might be classed as Dovecot though) - The Bluebell is an NHS walk in centre now. The only pub I tend to go in is teh Oak Tree and that can be a bit rough but it's ok and people in there are friendly once they have seen you in there a few times. Never been the Swan or the Wetherspoons in Huyton so can't comment. The pub you went in is normally dead and only special brew daytime drinkers tend to frequent it. I remember the first time I went to Kirkby was for a party for a couple who were emigrating to Saudi Arabia, it was in teh RAF club and as I walked up to the door there was two cars that clipped each other, both fellas got out and beat the shit out of each other, as I walked through the door the guy drinking in the doorway said "welcome to Kirkby mate". Someone bought that couple a DVD of the film "The Kingdom" - about American expats in Saudi Arabia whose compund gets blown up by a suicide bomber, the couple were bot impressed!
  23. Harry Squatter
    Yeah, he needed to practice his 'handball' shouts in preparation for the next everton home game
  24. Harry Squatter
    She's a poor man's Danielle Smith
  25. Harry Squatter
    He is commonly referred to as BGB on this site, I think it's just a term of affection rather than an insinuation regarding his sexuality!
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