Faustus

Yeah, that was him. I had to go on IMDB as soon as he popped up just to double check I wasn't going mad!

Piston, did you clock Brian Conley's weird cameo in Equilibrium? I wasn't sure what to make of the film until he popped up and I was out from that point on. I couldn't help but expect him to say "It's a puppet!" to Christian Bale.

Mohamed Salah, We signed him from Rome, Which is really quite funny, Because I've also been to Rome.

Where's that, an tha? Sky have us down as top, as did BT last night.

I'm not a 'doubter'- he's clearly a very good manager- but I'm just left cold by him and his team. He's even acknowledged it himself that he couldn't see himself undertaking a 'project' like Klopp, Pochettino, even Wenger, have all done. Personally, people who've achieved success that way are worthy of far more credit. It's like a chef requiring only the very best ingredients in the best possible kitchen in order to make a tasty dish. To be honest, the polarised nature of the Guardiola debate bores me; the way he's either a fraud or a genius. The very nature of it is cheap and thoughtless. It's more nuanced than that and I suppose it's down to what you're after really. Personally, I love managers who undertake challenges and completely model clubs in their own image, so I'll always view achievements that come that way in greater light. And that's not saying I decry Guardiola's achievements at Barca and Bayern, just I regard Klopp's success at Dortmund in higher esteem. It's all just a bit 'kid playing FM on sugar daddy' mode. Congrats on winning the league, mate, nice one, but there's nothing like heavily stacking the deck in your favour, eh?

Yeah, defo. It's just all very 'meh', to me. I think even the job Conte did last season will have eclipsed a City title win this season, apart from if they do something astounding like go the campaign unbeaten. The analogy I gave a mate the other day over Guardiola is that it's similar to how if you're making a billion pound blockbuster, there's probably nobody better to get in than Steven Speilberg. You know he'll pull off the spectacular and you'll enjoy watching it, but you'll just wander around later that day without any of it permeating your consciousness. Just all very disposable and clinical. At the same time, like fuck you'd have him directing an indie film, nor would I suspect he'd even remotely be interested in doing so.

Am I the only one left cold by City? Don't get me wrong, their football is exceptional, as are a number of their players, but it's just that when I weigh that alongside the cost it took Guardiola to implement his grand vision, I can't help but shrug my shoulders. It's not managing or coaching as such, it's just bankrolled theory. "Give me £150m to spend on three full backs." "Alright, yeah." They'll win the league this season and I'll just shrug my shoulders. All things considered, I personally think that what Pochettino is doing at Spurs is far more impressive.

We'll get fuck all from this game, from that game, from the game after, the game after that, and the game that comes after that. I just want to slag off the manager in advance.

Love how the ref didn't even add on their injury time sub.

Remember when this same ref sent Gerrard off in this same fixture a few years back for exactly what Lukaku did?

The post on the previous page about missing out on a song for San Jose, we still wouldn't have made that connection as fans because zero originality goes into our songs these days. "Clap, clap, clap clap clap, clap clap clap clap San Jose!"

Wolverhampton would love a dollop of socialism, despite the protestations of some of the oddballs in the audience tonight.

There's speculation in the Telegraph that our game against Arsenal could be moved to Christmas Eve.

Dawdlers. Bloody hell, what is wrong with some people? I just nipped out then to get a couple of things for my dinner and it's like people are dosing on Valium before they go out in public these days. I look at the state of people shuffling and genuinely wonder how they get stuff done during the day. FUCKING MOVE!

I swear, those cunts are going to kill me.

I saw that story earlier this morning and couldn't help but think back to their song about Ji-Sung Park.

The BBC really are trying to stir shit though. The past two weekends, they've linked clips from 606 of absolute cranks ringing in to talk about us, complete with a provocative headline. Absolute shithouse trick and I'd like to say it's beneath the BBC as a broadcaster, but they've shown that they love nothing more than clickbait pieces. Really, where is the relevance, or how is it worthy of a spot on their football website if some weirdo thinks Klopp should be binned off?

Did anybody notice that moment in the second half when Matip absolutely nailed one of their lads with a classic 'hard but fair' challenge by the touchline not too far from the Sevilla fans and is left with acres of space to run into? Their lad is down in a heap and Matip tentatively took a few steps forward with the ball, only to look back at him. I was doing my swede in off that. I just couldn't imagine Hyypia or Carragher doing that in the same situation. I don't mean to dig Matip out personally here as such, but it just reflected so much of this current time: too fucking nice, too fucking soft. Every disappointing result, you hear the same empty assessments, usually delivered in a monotone voice: "We'll learn from our mistakes", "We'll improve", "The lads are disappointed." Just fuck off and grow some balls, all of you. If you're that disappointed, then rectify it on the pitch so it doesn't happen again. Teams don't even have to work hard to score against us, mainly because we keep committing daft individual mistakes like knocking balls straight back into danger areas, deciding to do Cryuff turns near their own corner flag or switching off as a ball is knocked across the face of goal. Where are the leaders to bang some heads together? We're fucking electric going forward- it's breathtaking to watch when it clicks- but bloody hell, I despair at some of the stuff that goes on elsewhere. Brain dead dopes.

Pep Guardiola wears shite trabs. Bulb-headed beaut.

3-1 win. Mane first goal.

Sounds an interesting book that, Section. Is it worth a read?

Christ, the hyperbolic language surrounding football really is something else. "Anguish, disappointment and sadness." Bloody hell...

I'll probably get slated for this by a few pedants, but OTT pronunciation of foreign names from native English speakers. Been listening to a fair few podscasts to do with the unmentionable lately and some of the pronunciations are an absolute piss take; single syllables stretched out for half a minute, pure phlegm coughs going on, vocal gymnastics like something from the X Factor. Just say the fucking name in the same manner in which you've been speaking. You only get credit if you make a good point, not for saying a name in your best 'Allo 'Allo accent. It's as equally annoying as obviously butchering someone's name with a horrendously bad bit of pronunciation.

I'm off to Japan and South Korea in October, so I'd really appreciate it if the start of World War Three could be postponed until after then. Ta.

If he sulks and suddenly decides to be shit, he'll find himself out of the team in no time and consequently out of the Brazil squad for the next World Cup. No chance he's going to want to jeopardise that, especially when he was ace in 2013/14 and jabronis still got picked ahead of him.