matt1983

People who initiate single file queues at the bar in airports.

I had to learn it for using the radio at work, and without wanting to sound like a daft racist, it can be a massive time saver when spelling things to people in foreign call centres. Like the DVLA.

It was The Place Hotel, York Place. I've only ever been north of the border for a stag do before, so I've no idea of the customs surrounding a Scottish breakfast, but I liked what I saw. I often find bacon from a buffet breakfast to be hit and miss so its absence was not an issue for me. I'm not a massive lover of hash browns anyway, but I would probably expect them for breakfast and chips for an all-dayer. But scones is the way forward.

Was in Edinburgh for a wedding last weekend and the hotel did a Scottish breakfast every morning, which seemed to consist of a full English with haggis instead of bacon and potato scones( which I never knew existed) instead of hash browns. I loved it.

"My mum was nearly a flid"

The most irritating in my opinion is Peter "bafana bafana rejoices" Drury. He attaches what he perceives to be iconic commentary to any incident -and it's usually two or three word phrases, not even actual sentences. Often it's clearly pre-planned, as in his most famous "a goal for all of Africa". As someone said about Tyler earlier, it's just an attempt to to make his own "profound" words part of the story and get on highlights packages and adverts. I despise it. That said, I happened to catch his commentary on the Martial goal and even he didn't lose his shit as much as Tyler. What they all fail to grasp is that the truly iconic, memorable moments of commentary are spontaneous and that is what makes them so good. No amount of pre-planned patronising of the African continent can substitute for that.

1) Name a fairytale-Jack & the Beanstalk 2) Name a famous movie monster- King Kong 3) Name something that rises- bread 4) Name something slippery- snake 5) Name something you put into a salad- tomato 6) Name something that you close your eyes to do- sleep 7) Name something that moves very slowly-snail 8) Name something that makes you grumpy-nagging 9) Name a weapon used in ancient times-bow & arrow 10) Name someone who wears white clothing-priest 11) Name a place people ask you to 'be quiet'-library 12) Name something people make into a ball- rubber bands

I'll tell you exactly how that plays out- she'll swallow that whole until she repeats it to her old man, and she'll get the hump when she realises that she's being laughed at. Which will make a change from getting the hump about fuck all. I'm in.

"I'm glad I'm not tall, I don't like heights"

I've just finished reading this whole thread- took months so if anyone has had years old posts repped, you know why. It's good to know it's not just my Mrs who is mental. We've had a baby and moved in the last 3 months so there's not been much logic or reason present at home of late. When she was younger she visited a mate of hers at Guildford uni and on the way back turned the wrong direction for home off the A3 on to the M25, driving several junctions before realising, before getting off, going a further junction up the M40 to turn round and head back the way she came. I pointed out that by the time she'd done all that she may as well have just kept going on the M25, to which she replied "I thought about that, but I don't know where it goes".

...and last season, when he dug out the stretcher bearers for not running on the grass in footwear inappropriate for wet grass. He loves having a go at people with little or no opportunity to reply. Pathetic fucking bully. I presume in this case he's annoyed because, being that she is part of the back room staff, she should have known that Hazard was only "injured" and not injured.

She did come across badly on TUF. Not as badly as her coach though, Edmund something. He was a massive bell. She said after she'd never do another one because she was edited so badly, so who knows what the truth was.

"Who's the really cool one?! Look a bit deeper before you go sucking someone off next time!"

" why didn't you tell me about the wanking off bit?!" "Sorry, must've slipped my mind. Did you do it?" "Course I did, how do you think I got these trainers?"

In Kos on a lads' holiday we copped those shit flight times you always seem to get as a youngster- midday checkout, pick up not til 2am. At about 10pm after a belly full of beer I ordered a chicken shish from a kebab shop on the strip to keep me going. Less than an hour later I was desperately trying to find any bar I could to have a turnout. I thought I was over the worst of it, but at 8am all my mates had boarded the flight and I was on my 6th dump as they called my name multiple times for boarding. After 7 more on the flight and 3 chunders, we landed and I jibbed going back to uni with my mates in favour of going back to mum's for an unscheduled week of dry toast and diarrolite. I lost a stone and a half that first day, and didn't eat another chicken shish for 2 years.

I saw a cunt at the station the other morning wearing double denim (with turned up jeans to reveal "outrageous" odd socks), stupid shirt, trilby, and ridiculous trainers. He had the ubiquitous beard and twatcut poking out from under his hat, and topped it off with a crap man bag and a copy of The Art of Creative Thinking. My cuntdar nearly exploded.

My colleague is referring to himself in the third person as "daddy" when posting as Oleg.

A 50 year old man in a position of authority at my work has set up a Facebook account for the meerkat soft toy he got when he renewed his car insurance,and is updating it regularly.

One of the best things about her being on maternity leave/retired is that she doesn't watch that shite in the morning any more. When they run out of that they put on The King of Queens or Will & Grace which are equally shite, irritating and unfunny. I usually go in the other room and flick between Sky News, Sky Sports News and Good Morning Britain and try to decide which of the female presenters is looking fittest this morning.

Jon Fitch would probably disagree, but I agree broadly. I can't remember the last big boxing match I enjoyed- I can list whole UFC cards I did.

The finish I meant...Mendes went from trying for a guillotine to out on the fence in no time. I should have said the finishing sequence looked effortless in fairness. Apparently Lawler was 3-1 down going into the final round.

He makes it look so easy...great headline fights. Frankie Edgar was the more deserving challenger in my opinion and he has always been the smaller fighter in every fight, so he is used to getting past a reach disadvantage. I hope we see that eventually.

I don't understand why they bother with interim titles when the very first "defense" of it will be a unification bout anyway. Just call it a number 1 contender bout and have done with it

See her on 8 out of 10 last night? I'd love to have it off with her. Oooooh...sex.

I suspect her sister and her fella will fall into this category next year. Potentially with a break off for some choreographed dance routine from him. Hopefully the baby needs changing at this point.