Duff Man

The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk

G'n'R - Sweet Child O'Mine (about 3 minutes in) Nirvana - Come As You Are

Cheers rules. Mozarella, Feta, Wensleydale and Edam being my personal favourites. Also, even though it's not proper cheese, I'd like to give an honourable mention to Primula Cheese Spread, which is kick ass stoner food.

The Burj Al Arab hotel in Dubai is amazing up close, especially at night when almost the entire surface of the building changes colour. It's fecking huge too, 320m tall.

Yey, I won! 2 bottles of Vodka, 2 bottles of Red Wine, 1 toblerone and 10 teabags. So bri, drewy, in thanks, your more than welcome to come round for a cup of tea.

Yeah I did, I must be shit at googling as well.

We're doing a quiz at work today for charity or some shit. I wouldn't care a toss usually but there's two bottles of Vodka and some wine at stake so I'm taking it rather more seriously. I'm stuck on 3 questions, help me out please. * What sporting items are there currently three of on the moon? * What do the songs "Kelly Watch The Stars" by Air, "Bingo Bango" by Basement Jaxx and the theme song from "Batman" all have in common * Identify the song from which the following lyrics are taken? "you give me all the after midnight action". Quick as you can please pub quiz buffs.

I've always liked Doge's Palace in Venice. Incredibly ornate.

Yeah a lot of it does look tacky but you can find some normal looking stuff if you search hard enough. I wasn't in the RN mate, I was in the RFA. Training to be a deck officer, but got an offer of a University place so left after 2 years. Were you in the RN?

A grand should be enough, especially if your just going for a piss up. It's the daytime stuff (wild wadi, dune buggying etc) that costs most as far as I can remember. Make sure you go to Spice Island at least once, it's well worth it. The food's amazing and you can drink as much as you want, all for £20! It's in the city centre, just jump in a cab they all know where it is. That's assuming it's still open of course, have you heard of it Mukky?

Fooking ace if you've got the cash. I was there for 3 weeks in 2002 with the Navy. Are you going with your mates or with the missus / family? Family suitable: Jumeira Beach Club & Wild Wadi - (where I saw our very own Stevie Me and Phil Thompson) huge hotel with an amazing water park and other water sports. The Gold Suhk - massive market selling cheap gold, surprisingly enough. Spice Island - fucking ace, £20 for an all you can eat and drink buffet. The food is amazing and you really can drink as much as you want. 15 of us went through about 5 bottles of Tequila and countless beers. Suitable for Over 18's only: The nightlife - fucking crazy. After spending 2 minutes in the first bar you'll know why! ;) There's also a few decent night clubs full of expat fitties who are well up for it. The beer's usual price from what I can remember. All in all a good do but you need a lot of cash.

Buying a new shirt and getting home to find one of the cufflinks is missing. Fuckedy fuck fuck fuck.

Pulp Fiction Carlito's Way Scarface Usual Suspects Old boy

Smelly farts in bed Bob Geldoff

I have and yes, I do. The chapter about the Chelsea saga is what struck me the most. He spins it out but basically it comes down to him not being offered a contract quick enough after the Champions League final. He also feels that Liverpool should have come out and offered him 90k or more straight away instead of asking his agent to suggest a figure first, and enter into some sort of negotiation. Consequently he starts to feel unwanted and undervalued (he was already the top earner on 80k) and begins to think the club are trying to sell him behind his back. So he whinges a bit and they offer him 100k. Still not convinced, he decides the only way to see if the club really want him is to put in a tranfer request. As you do. Then after 12 hours of 'soul searching' and an 'emergency meeting' where Rick Parry, David Moores and Rafa do everything but suck his cock in an a last ditch attempt to keep him he decides he just can't leave his boyhood club afterall and he'll sign a new contract. For 100k a week. How nice of him. There are also some parts of the book that are laugh out loud funny, and you really can't believe it was written by a 26 year old. Now I don't hold anything against Stevie, and I really don't begrudge him his financial success or his right to capitalise on his fame. But when you compare his off field activities with someone like Kuyt or Carragher it really does make you think he's a bit of twat, and not too disimiliar from the Ashley Cole's of this world. He used to be my favourite player, a local lad made good an all that, but I'll never see him in the same light as a Fowler or Carragher now. Which is a shame, because he should have been the biggest legend this club has ever seen, instead of just the best player.

Has to be The Strokes for me, simply because it's fucking ace and I've hammered it since it came out. Also for anyone who liked 'Is This It' and 'Room On The Darkside' but hasn't listened to 'First Impressions Of Earth' you should get it and play it, coz it's class and definitely as good as the first two.

Supertramp - Breakfast In America, Dreamer, Bloody Well Right, The Logi...............oh fuck it. I'm listening to the Best Of album and it's class.

Marlin steaks coated in herbs and a few drops of lemon juice.

Finishing work for the weekend and not having to see any of the fat smelly annoying cunts for another 2 days.

Bic disposables, and not just the bog standard ones either. Bic Sensitive With Aloe Vera Strip! A bit indulgent I know but sometimes you just have to splash out....

How I Met Your Mother

Is it fuck you fat retard! It's down to you shovelling dairy lee lunchables and turkey twizzlers down their throats. People like that should be shot. It makes me fucking sick. Some fella offers to provide a healthy, hot cooked dinner for your child for no extra cost and you choose to complain and smuggle in burgers and kebabs? 'Av a fucking word with yourselves.

Seen them a couple of years ago (unless he's done another series). Very good indeed, especially for jackasses like me who usually lose interest in anything educational after a couple of minutes. The one on Marx is well worth watching.

Class programme. Methinks that fella with the seatbelt gizmo from last night's episode is gonne be quids in pretty soon.

------Bellamy------Kuyt-------- Kewell--Momo--Gerrard--Pennant -Riise---Agger--Carra---Finnan-