sh#t waffle

That makes no sense on so many levels.

Exactly. Wouldn't be any fun otherwise, would it? And without stuff to moan about, your life force would gradually weaken until you disappeared. And we couldn't have that, could we?

Precisely. We'll shit 'em.

What?

It's such a shame it didn't work out for him, as he was undoubtedly a class act. As it's long been rumoured that he's off and to be replaced, it's brilliant we've managed to find a buyer so quickly.

We always knew he was forced out in the sense that the club sold him rather than him asking for a move. And I know how much he cares about the club, and I love him for it. but his book was self serving, even for an autobiography. Are you telling me he didn't make mistakes along the way? Even considering he's just an average lad from Toxteth?

It certainly was. That is to say, it was if you take it at absolute face value and as gospel rather than it being an ever so slightly one sided take on events.

IF - and at this stage it's a big if - there's anything in this story, then I find it very weird. With a full pre-season and strength training under his belt, I'd seen enough in him to know he's going to be a quality, quality player. And I don't believe Rafa paid £5.5m on him with the intention of having to loan him out. As I say, this all depends on the story being true of course.

With typical stupidity, Freddy Shepherd allowed ickle Micky's request to sign the contract on one of those glass Poker World Tour tables. The rest is history..

Should Momo Sissoko be banned? And do the Liverpool players pay much attention to fansites?

I was 1! But my parents were poor, so I didn't get it till '93.

Big Trak, surely?

It's not you. It's everyone else.

You'd think Adidas could maybe stretch to some teracotta tiles or something for their publicity shots..

I'll get in touch with the guy who is founding the site and try and wing some stuff your way..

I'm writing for a soon to be on-line website showcasing unsigned bands. Have been involved in music journalism in an amateur guise for a number of years. Should probably put a plug in - if anyone is in an unsigned band and fancies some good exposure (the site has got some money behind it and looks ace) then drop me a PM. Also if anyone fancies reviewing gigs/demos, also let me know...

Oh, I'll be there. Is there a cafe in Fredrikstad?

You'd take tickets off my disabled sprogs? If you can live with yourself then fine..

Talk to the hand. My withered, diseased-addled hand that stops me getting to the games nowadays..

You really don't want to be doing that. Admittedly they have some brilliant captions, but apart from that there's very little to recommend..

Fuck off you little twat.

Is that true? Or is it a 'whoooosh' moment for me?

Exactly. You're all as bad as each other. Rashid posts some shit, and brings some of this on himself, but this really isn't necessary..

Surely you've read enough of what that guy posts to admit him saying that makes a deal more likely?

36 1/2 years. Luckily only a two grand fine, and the money I saved by buying all those stolen goods more than pays for that.