JustTosh

Easy. Not knowing how to use a knife the monkey would simply throw it and accidentally cut off the beers peewee. Monkey would mistake it for a banana and eat it. Seeing this the bear would pick up the knife and commit suicide. Monkey wins

I’d be the new shirt sponsor for Chelsea, dressing everybody in the team in T-shirts with pictures of Mohammed. Then the Muslim fanatics would kill them all, and I could spare my one bullet for Rooney.

I was searching for suggestions on what each and everyone of us could do to help lift the atmosphere and maintain the “the Liverpool way” Here’s one: When going to Anfield have a piece of paper in your pocket with the words to the Liverpool songs, you know YNWA, FOAR and a couple of others. Then when you’re seated next to someone who’s not singing, in a friendly way offer him that piece of paper and advice him to learn the words for his next visit. If he’s a good supporter there’s every chance he’ll appreciate your help. If not, he’s not the fan you’d like on the stands anyway. Maybe a stupid suggestion I admit. Still better than nothing?

First of all, I despise that song. People sing they hate ManU, still they stand up to honour them. I’d never sing it myself, not even when playing against them. You’re worried we’re about to loose the Liverpool way - the way to support thought by fathers to sons on the terraces I agree, there’s every reason to be worried. I don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me if more than 50% of the crowd on a regular Saturday were people with no connection to Merseyside at all. Liverpool FC has a huge fan base all around the world, it’s a fact and it’s a necessity if we want the club to compete on the very top international level. You can whinge about the facts of life as much as you like, but I promise you it won’t change a thing. Whinging is only interesting if followed up by suggestions on how to make it better. My challenge to you forumites is: Is there anything you can do to help? You’re complaining fans aren’t thought the proper Liverpool way. I say: Teach us!

No 2nd team, until today that is. Now my 2nd team is Manchester City FC. Psycho for president!

C’mon Rafa. I bet you’re not an atheist. As all Spaniards you believe in God. So do we. This one’s not for you to decide. Leave the decision to God.

Look at his gorilla-wank-style celebration. He’d just hugged Wayne Rooney and was obviously sexually aroused. He was too embarrassed to show his team mates he had a hard-on, and run to us for protection. We’ve all had an erection on an embarrassing moment – Give the lad a break!

Yeaa. Let’s suggest for Fergie they wear their badges on the front of their pants. That way his players won’t forget to kiss it when they go bed at night.

Neville’s stupid celebration is an honour to us really. Those of you present at the theatre of Silence (not particularly silent yesterday, we could all hear “five times” loud and clear throughout the match) must really have taunted the stupid twat. Now he's facing suspension, well done lads!

Have a secret room behind the bar or something for your trusted customers, like the yanks used to during the Elliot Ness era. Worked for them back then didn't it?

Answer to your question no. 1 is easy. All you have to do is to point your dish towards the satellite transmitting C+ signals, and then decode the signals. Decoding can be done either by hacking or by subscription to C+. I believe you’ll need at Scandinavian address for the latter. Subscription is 20-25£ a month, for private users that is (you’re going to do something illegal so private sub is all you need of course). C+ pays for the dish+decoder if you sign up for two years. You’ll then get some other shitty channels and pay around 35£ a month. I’ve no idea how they’ll punish you if you’re caught, but I guess there’s every chance you’ll get burned. Close the curtains and shut the door 10 mins before kick-off maybe? I really don’t know.

Too late son, Eeeegggoooooorrrrr! If it was to be any club except LFC, suerely it'd had to be wherever Eeeeggoorrr's playing. Tosh

I have tried to support my local club. You see, I completely agree with everybody who says it’s weird to support a team that’s not even from my own country. So, I’ve tried to get LFC out of my system. I’ve tried to attend matches and support my local team. Problem is, it doesn’t work! Like love it can’t be explained. It’s a feeling. It’s passion. It’s been there from childhood for as long as I can remember. Logic’s got nothing to do with it. If there was no Liverpool FC? I’d try once again to support my local team, but I know it would be without even 1% of the passion I feel for Liverpool FC.

Whether we like it or not, whether we think he's shite or not, Crouch is a Liverpool player. He’s just received booes from the home crowd at theatre of disgust. I really hope everybody at Anfield sings his name loud and clear tomorrow. Not that I have any doubts. I know you will! C’mon Crouch, show’em! Tosh

What makes people love football? Is it the sport itself that attracts people? Yes of course it is the sport, but it’s more. What makes football special and different from other sports, is the passion that comes along with it. Not just the players on the field. Also us, the fans, are part of the product that fascinates people all over the world. Every winner of the Champions league is benefited with more attention, more support, more money. No team, however, has had the increase in popularity that we’ve had after Istanbul. Some reports say we have almost doubled our support around the world. Why? It’s no other explanation than the passion shown from us, the fans. The grace we showed the world at the ties against Juve. The hard work from the players and overwhelming support from the stands when the working class underdog beat capitalism. Then there was Istanbul. Before the match one big passionate party with no real problems at all. Then the phenomenal support halftime at 0-3 and our players responding to the support with a remarkable rise from the dead. Football fans all over the world seem to embrace Liverpool FC after this. The noise and support at Anfield is admired. If you give a tourist with no sympathy for any club an option to go to a premier league match, there’s every chance he’d say he’d like to experience the passion at Anfield. So, other than to brag about being the best supporters in the world, what is my point exactly? My point is the club has to be aware of an increasing demand for tickets amongst tourists. If the club doesn’t watch out we might end up like ManU with a stadium full of shrimpeating tourist more and more living up to the nickname “theatre of silence”. It’s of the utmost importance that the club does whatever it can to prevent that Anfield is filled with tourists wanting to experience the sound and passion of Anfield. They must make sure the stands are filled up with real passionate fans. If they let to many tourist in they’d actually be ruining their own product. We, the fans, are probably looking forward to increasing difficulties at getting tickets. We might experience a price raise as the stadium would sell out anyway. We might experience that local support is squeezed out even more. The paradox is we’ve brought it on ourselves with the good support we showed our team through the CL campaign last year. As sweet at the victory in Istanbul was, there could be a price to pay.

Good management would be not only to listen to players’ views and arguments, but also to encourage them to express their opinions. Between matches that is. On match day the manager decides our game plan demanding his players follow orders, no room for argument A manager that sees players input as undermining authority would be a bad leader, a leader without the necessary respect and authority. You cannot demand respect, you’ve got to earn it. Without respect you cannot lead. I'm confident Rafa listens to what our players have to say, even if they’re criticizing the manaher's own ideas.

I’d have thought it to be more difficult than that mate. I don’t have unlimited financial resources. I try to go once a year, and would’ve been gutted if I were to stand outside the ground without a ticket on my annual trip. I’ve got an understanding wife who knows this means a lot to me. But I wonder what she’d say if I came back home after spending our money and I told here I couldn’t go inside the ground because I couldn’t get a ticket. She’d probably divorce me, that is if she hadn’t already killed me ;-) Hats off for you though. To solve the problem supporters and club must work together. They’ve just introduced the fan-card. Let’s give them a couple of years and then we’ll see if they use this opportunity to get rid of the touts once and for all. And I mean ALL touts, including the agencies in London AND the travel agencies selling packages. Ta

Not paying over the odds, that must be the understatement of the month. Correct, then again not doing what I preach is something I do all the time. I believe we have so many tasks in my community a taxraise would be good. Still, every year I never pay moore than I have to. I believe we must reduce C2O-pollution. It doesn't stop me driving my car or flying over to Liverpoool for a visit. I could go on and on. Btw I've never actuially said I'd pay (and thus support) the touts. I've never said it's OK to buy from them, so far I haven't had to (I've paid for a tour, touting in disguise imo). But I can see myself outside the ground desperately doing things I don't like. My God, maybe I'm not Jesus after all. I agree with you introducing the fan-card the club's doing something. In the future it can be used to stop the touts even more. As I've told you I have hundreds of ideas.

I love the optimism. Let's hope Harry gets back to his very best. Normally thinking of Harry makes me feel angry. To those of you who feel the same, it helps reminding yourself of the way he threw himself into a headball challenge against Sol Campell and Toure at Anfield last season. As you might recall that suicidal challenge created just enough space for Boy Mellor. Give us that attitude week in week out Harry!

I agree. The same goes to Morientes. What we’ve seen from the two is far from good enough.. We seem to accept that Morientes needs time to adapt to the English game. Let us give Cisse some time too. There’s nothing we can do about it before next year anyway, so it’s no use whining. We’re stuck with both Cisse and Morientes for another three months. So far it looks like a big mistake selling Baros and keeping Cisse though. I hope they’ll prove me wrong.

1. There's no way to be 100% sure, but if I sold tickets to i.e. you, I'd be quite confident I hadn't sold it on to a tout. 2. I guess they could have 10 fancards or more. 3. Why would it never work? Your only argument seems to be it hasn't worked before? Should be quite easy to make it work actually, if the club really wanted it that way. You don't have to ID-control everybody at the turnstiles. If there's a 20% chance you'd be denied access to the ground, that could ruin the market for the touts. 4. I agree, but it obviously doesn't work that way, does it? I admire you for standing firm against the touts outside White Heart Lane. However, I can’t see many people doing the same as you after spending let’s say £300 for flight and accommodation. Most would fork out the £100 or so needed to get access to the ground. Moral standard isn’t higher than that I’m afraid. And I absolutely don’t agree with you the club does all it can to stop the touts. As you say, they do nothing to stop the touting agencies, thus telling us it’s morally OK to buy tickets from them. And I really can’t see what they’re doing to stop the touts outside the ground. Then you have the packages which is legal, but still is touting. They say you pay face value for the ticket and £50 for the Snickers Bar they call lunch. If I had to choose I’d buy from the tout outside the ground. The “legal” touts are worse. The moral thing to do is of course to reject any offer that’s not face value. A better ticket policy could eliminate the problem. I’ve hundreds of ideas. If at travelling fan is willing to pay £100 for a ticket, let him do so, but let the club make the profit. But limit the availability so that local fans isn’t denied access. Sorry for using so many words

Unsuccesful in the ballot I'm afraid. Regarding your NB. Yes, you're probably right, it would be taking tickets away from other fans I suppose.

I'll probably "win" in the ballot every now and then. My idea was for more people to do the same. Then we'd have som spares for every game. One time you'd benefit, next time me, then another, get it? My guess is that we're many on here living so far away from Anfield we can't go every weekend, but we can apply for tickets in the ballot. Tosh

Providing tickets to fellow fans want stop toputing but it would reduce ticket demand for the touts. A drop in the ocean I know, but still.. Stopping touts is easy. All you need to do is to print a name on the ticket and ID-control 20% of those passing the turnstiles. Distributing tickets to proper fans only is equally easy. Only sell tickets to fans with a fan card. Problem is, I can't do anything about that, only the TO can.

We've been though som difficult matches. Now the opposiiton is supposed to a bit easier. I hope and believe Rafa's going to let Cisse have a run in the side togheter with Crouch. Then we'll see. What Cisse's done for us so far has been far from impressive, but give tha lad a chance. Come christmas, then pass judgement.