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Is this against the rules? I have always thought it was not on esp when married yourself. Reason I ask is that I have just had a call from a mate telling me another mate is in the hospital with two broken legs an 75 stitches. He got caught mid shag by some birds husband. Baseball bat and thrown naked through a patio door. Funniest thing I've heard in ages. Best bit is when asked why he didn't duck or hide he said 'I never saw him coming I had my eyes closed' He is going to get some stick for this. His wife is not to pleased however especially as it is going to be in the paper on Tuesday.

...has just snogged the face off me...right in front of him / my mate / her hubby. Getting very touchy feely indeed, and I didn't exactly feel too comfortably about it, yet it felt pretty damn good cos I really like her...and I know she likes me too. A bit confused tbh. What to do, questions, questions...

No, I don't even masturbate quite that often. What's your frequency Kenneth?

The BBC are continuing to use our license fees to 'sex up' the news it seems....

Wife of our new owner! Hubba!

For the time being, the site will go down for a short while at 3am every night. To cut a long story short, we think we've found the cause of all the server overloads, but at the moment the best way of preventing it happening is to just reboot the server every night when it's quiet.

My mate has fell asleep on the stairs, the point of this thread (would be poll but i'm not quite with it enough) is to decide over the next 10 min if i should wake her and drag her to bed to sleep or leave her there about 5 steps up to sleep it off. She's incredibly drunk and would last the night there if she didn't slide down (if that was what the GF decided) but she would be left feeling sore and aching for tomorrow if it was decided to leave her be... So GF, it's over to you, Should i wake her or not?

1. stephanie beacham..i know ken barlows been there buy ide deffo wham one right up it 2.twiggy..been around for donkeys years but still worth one after few stellas 3.cilla black.imagine them teeth grinding against the skin of the erect stem...awesome!

anyone ever done one? people say not to do it for whatever reason but why not its just like a one night stand isnt it? i ask as i am considering doing one, met a right nice girl and she has a top personality but i'd see her as more of a mate but she fancys the pants of me and i've all but confirmed i'll shag her (obviously her not knowing its out of pity) as i see shes nice enough and the pitys just really coming from how desperate she seems to be, not much of a looker but im pretty desperate and have to say i havent been laid in a while so its partly for my benefit too

Alfie Patten becomes a father at 13 after one night of unprotected sex - Times Online Just heard the little tyke on the news, his balls haven't even dropped yet!

Fuck yeah

I'm pretty excited actually, it's my first real 'date' in ages. I hope I haven't forgoten how to do it... bought myself a new dress and everthing.. fingers crossed...

Having been inspired by Gazelle's hot date thread and seen all you posting about what she was up to, I thought I would be brave and ask about first date etiquette. I have a first date this week. Thursday if you must know.... Bit of background I am mid 40's bloke who has been single for 8 months and divorce is slower than I would like. Now I am not looking for a piece of fanny. Had the meanleless shags. I have what would be called very old fashioned ideal about dating. I believe that if I invite a lady on a date then I pick up the cheque for the meal drinks whatever, after all I can influence where we go and its cost. I also firmly believe in no nookie on a first date, a kiss at end of date if there is another date pending. Does this make me a total prat. do the ladies like this as well as good manners. Should I tell the lady my rules, or will i sound like a loony. So what do you guys and ladies really think. Ducks for cover.....

Day 3 JEWSON NOVICES HANDICAP CHASE 2M 5F, CLASS A, 5y-o+ RECENT TRENDS Just 4 runnings of this race. Killer stat: ALL 4 winners of this race were 7yo's • All 4 winners finished 1st or 2nd last time out • All 4 winners finished 1st or 2nd in their last 3 runs (when completing the course) • All 4 winners carried less than 10-12 • All 4 winners had run at least 3 times that season • All 4 winners ran in a February Novice / Beginners Chase last time out (not handicap) Interesting Facts: Paul Nicholls has sent out 9 runners in the race with all un-placed. Selection Isn't That Lucky Alt Kia Kaha EWay Astradore PERTEMPS FINAL HANDICAP HURDLE 3MILES, LISTED, 5y-o+ RECENT TRENDS Killer stat: Only one 5yo winner in 34 runnings • 12 of last 16 winners had already won over 3miles • 6yo & 9yo have the best recent record with 4 wins each in the last 10 runnings • Only 1 winning fav in last 10 years • All of last 10 winners had prep run between 31&66 days prior to race • 8 of the last 9 winners had run 3 or more times that season • 8 of rhe last 9 winners carried 11-02 or less Interesting Fact: The last 5 winners had all won a race with a field of 16 runners+ Selection Syncronised AlT Ballydub EW Heathcliff RYANAIR CHASE 2M 5F, GRADE 1, 5y-o+ RECENT TRENDS Another new race that has only 4 years of data Killer stat: All winners were from the first 3 in the betting and only 1 horse with double figure odds has made the frame out of the 12 possible places (Lacdoudal 2nd at 20/1) • All 4 winners had won at Cheltenham • All 4 winners had won a Class 1 race • Paul Nicholls has trained 2 of the 4 winners • 3 of the 4 winners were aged 9 years+ • 50% of all French Bred runners have been placed Interesting Fact: Both Fontmort and Our Vic finished 2nd in the race before winning the following year. Selection Imperial Commander Alt Voy Por Ustedes EW Tidal Bay WORLD HURDLE 3MILES, GRADE 1, 4y-o + RACE HISTORY Formerly the Stayers Hurdle and run in it's current format since 1972 it adopted the peculiar new name of the World Hurdle when Ladbrokes took over the sponsorship. Still run over the same distance it has been the main event in deciding the stayers division for some time. Recent winners include the French star stayer Baracouda and the horse who ended his attempts for 3 wins in the race, Inglis Drever. The latter went on to record an historic victory in last years race when he became the first horse to achieve that feat of 3 wins in the Stayers Hurdle. Unfortunately injury has forced his retirement and scuppered any dreams of the unprecedented 4 Stayers Championships. RECENT TRENDS Killer stat: The last 21 winners finished in first 4 last time out • No 5yo has ever won the World Hurdle / Stayers Hurdle • Only 1 aged over 9 has won (1986 Crimson Ember) • 9 of last 10 winners aged 6-8 • No Irish winner since 1995 (Dorans Pride) • No winner this decade had more than 3 runs that season • 8 of the last 10 winners had won a Graded hurdle • 8 of the last 10 winners had won or were placed at a previous Festival Interesting Fact: The last 8 winners finished either 1st or 2nd in all there runs that season HOW THE LEADING FANCIES FIT THE TOP TRENDS Finished top 4 last time Aged 6-8 Run 3 or less times Won a Graded Hurdle Win or place at a festival Finished 1 or 2 all runs Kasbah Bliss Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Punchestowns Yes Yes Yes Yes No Yes Big Bucks Yes Yes Yes Yes No No Fair Along Yes Yes No Yes Yes No Blazing Bailey No Yes Yes Yes Yes No Catch Me Yes Yes No Yes Yes Yes Mobaasher Yes Yes Yes No Yes No Powerstation Yes No No Yes Yes No Duc de Regniere Yes Yes No Yes No No Tazbar Yes Yes Yes Yes No No Hardy Eustace No No No Yes Yes No Lough Derg Yes No No Yes No No 1999 – 2008 PAST WINNERS Year Horse Age Trainer Odds Weight 2008 INGLIS DREVER 9 H. JOHNSON 11/8F 11-10 2007 INGLIS DREVER 8 H. JOHNSON 5/1 11-10 2006 MY WAY DE SOLZEN 6 A.KING 8/1 11-10 2005 INGLIS DREVER 6 H. JOHNSON 5/1 11-10 2004 IRIS'S GIFT 7 JJ O'NEIL 9/2 11-10 2003 BARACOUDA 8 F. DOUMEN 9/4J 11-10 2002 BARACOUDA 7 F. DOUMEN 13/8F 11-10 2000 BACCHANAL 6 N. HENDERSON 11/2 11-10 1999 ANZUM 8 D. NICHOLSON 40/1 11-10 HOW THE FAVOURITES FARED Favourites finishing position: 2611223F1To £1 Level Stake: -£2.27 Position of winner in market: 9-3-1-1-2-3-4-3-1 TRAINER RECORDS SINCE 1998 (RUNNERS – WINS – PLACED) A. KING 8 1 2 W. MULLINS 5 0 1 H. DALY 3 0 3 H. JOHNSON 4 3 0 N. HENDERSON 5 1 0 F. DOUMEN 9 2 3 N. TWISTON-DAVIES 7 0 1 AGE OF WINNER. WINS - NUMBER OF RUNNERS 5yo 0-9 / 6yo 3-28 / 7yo 3-33 / 8yo 3-27 / 9yo 1-16 / 10yo 0-12 / 11yo 0-5 / 13yo 0-1 PACE IN THE RACE – HOW THE FIRST THREE FINISHERS RACED LED 2 RACED PROMINENT 11 MID-DIVISION 2 HELP UP IN REAR 12 AVERAGE JOE – THE AVERAGE PROFILE OF THE WINNER AGE WEIGHT POSITION LAST TIME RUNS THAT SEASON DAYS SINCE LAST RUN NUMBER OF RUNS OVER HURDLES ODDS 7 11s 10lb 2 3 34 10 9 to 2 COUNTRY OF ORIGIN (RUNNERS WINNERS PLACED % WIN & PLACE) to No. of Runners / to No. of Places (27) GB Bred 34 5 4 26.5% 33.3% Irish Bred 45 1 7 17.8% 29.6% French Bred 31 3 7 35.5% 37%% German Bred 2 0 0 0% 0% Others 10 0 0 0% 0% KEY TRIALS Blue Square Hurdle. Haydock. February 14th This saw the long awaited seasonal reappearance of last years World Hurdle runner up Kasbah Bliss who hadn't run since a fair 4th in a Group 1 flat race last backend. And what a comeback run it was as the French horse jumped superbly, moved effortlessly alongside the runner up approaching the last and sprinted 8 lengths clear on the run in. Given the soft ground this was a performance out of the top drawer and sets the standard for all the other World Hurdle hopefuls. Cleeve Hurdle. Cheltenham. January 24th Run over the course and distance of the World Hurdle but on ground described as heavy this was still a good dress rehersal for the main event in March. The race went to the Paul Nicholls trained Big Bucks who, in receipt of a much needed 8lb, got the better of the odds on Nicky Henderson trained Punchestowns by 4 lengths. Connections of both horses will be very pleased with the result but with conditions likely to be less testing in March it will be Mr Henderson who has more reasons to be smiling. Fair Along ran another good race in third on his favourite track and will no doubt give another game performance without threatening the market leaders. A comment that also applies to the robust Lough Derg who ran well in fourth without posing a danger. He would be an interesting runner in something like the Coral Cup. Long Walk Hurdle. Ascot. December 20th The race that put Punchestowns to the forefront of the home based stayers as he recorded an easy success from his stablemate Duc de Regniere. With a whole host of decent stayers well behind him this was a very good performance and a big step up from the handicap he had won at the track previously. Mobaasher stayed on quite well to take third and should be suited by Cheltenham's stiff track. Blazing Bailey ran another poor race, after flattering to deceive three flights out, to finish a well beaten fourth but it's worth remembering that this horse seems to run his best races in the Spring. With the majority of winners having run previously at the Cheltenham Festival it may be worth looking at the 2008 running of the World Hurdle. 2008 World Hurdle. Cheltenham. March 13th 2008 Kasbah Bliss was the only runner to give Inglis Drever any sort of race last year and he lost nothing in defeat in going down by a length to one of the best stayers of recent years. With that rival now enjoying a well earned retirement the path is clear for the relatively young French horse to assume his Staying Crown. After a highly promising reappearance that crown is his for the taking. Blazing Bailey assumed his normal finishing position of fourth last year and seems unlikely to improve on that run this time around while Hardy Eustace and Lough Derg were well out the back and have it all to do again. LAST YEARS WINNER HAD HIS LAST RUN PRIOR TO CHELTENHAM IN THE.... Cleeve Hurdle at Cheltenham. See above... Selection Big Bucks Alt Kasbar Bliss EW Tazbar RACING POST FESTIVAL PLATE HANDICAP CHASE 2M 5F. GRADE 3. 5y-o+ RACE HISTORY Formerly the Mildmay of Flete Handicap Chase it took it's new name in 2006 when The Racing Post took over the sponsorship. When it was run under the old title it was a race Martin Pipe regularly targeted and he won it 4 times in the 5 races between 1997-2002.. He was also responsible for the last winning favourite in 1999 (Majadou) since when the race has been won by less fancied runners none more so than last years shock 66/1 winner Mister McGoldrick . This horse was also only the second horse to win this race at the ripe old age of 11. RECENT TRENDS Killer stat: French bred horses have won 5 of the last 9 runnings and were runner up in the other 4. • All of the last 11 winners had won a Class 3 or better race. • 10 of the last 11 had won at a trip between 2m3f and 2m5f • 15 of the last 17 winners had run at a previous Cheltenham Festival • 14 of the last 17 winners finished in the top 4 last time out • There's only been 1 winning favourite in the last 27 years • The last 11 winners all had there last run in a Chase event within the last 2 months • 10 of the last 11 winners carried 11-03 or less Interesting Fact: The shortest priced winner since 2000 was 12/1

The Wire, The Sopranos and Soon to be Deadwood have all been dear to my heart. Cracking shows and now that they are no more, I know I will never have the pleasure of viewing all the great episodes again nor be able to look forward to an upcoming episode.

Rafael - Reds running scared Dutchman thinks Liverpool are 'frightened' of Real Madrid Real Madrid midfielder Rafael van der Vaart believes that Liverpool will be scared when the two sides meet each other in the knockout stages of the UEFA Champions League. The Spanish giants face Liverpool in a clash between two of the most successful club sides in football history. However, the Holland international thinks that Madrid will have a psychological advantage even before the first-leg kicks-off. "We're Real Madrid, which is why I think Liverpool are frightened of us. We have great players. It's going to be a great tie," he told Spanish newspaper Marca. "The team is working hard to be in perfect shape. We're anxious to do well in Europe, and if we end up as champions I will be capable of anything. I will do anything to win the Champions League." Bench The 26-year-old has recently been relegated to the Real Madrid substitutes' bench, but he does not think his form has deteriorated badly. "Everything was going well at the beginning of the season. I had a great feeling. I don't think I was playing poorly, but I was benched for a few matches," he added. "It's not easy to get used to being a reserve because I had been a starter throughout most of my career." Van der Vaart moved from German side Hamburg to Madrid in the summer of 2008 and is hoping to stay at the Bernabeu for some time yet. "I signed for five years, but I hope to be here many more years," he said. "I want to be an important part of Real Madrid's history and win many titles. That's what I've always dreamed about."

I've lived in Brum for a while now but will obviously be red 'til I die regardless of where I live. I used to work around St Andrews and spent some time there from time to time with work, so have had a bit of a warm feeling towards the bluenoses down here. Then again the Baggies always seem to have good support, so I'm fairly positive about them too. Then there's the Villa. Until O'Neill came in I used to see their empty stands on MOTD and think, "Big club my arse!". They seem to have fickle support. But that doesn't make them bad people necessarily. Then last season I got a ticket for our game in the Doug Ellis stand and giggled inwardly as we beat them only to witness Holte End Scum wading in to families in red colours after the game like shithouses. Then today watching the game in the pub I had to put up with abuse from some more of their scum who apparently "hate Scousers with a passion" - Christ knows why! And this was topped by some twat storming out after full time screaming "Kill the Scousers, fucking Hillsborough!" What has Pompey-Liverpool got them so wound up about? If we lost they would go equal second - United would still be where they are regardless of our result! As it stands now they're third above Chelsea and looking good for CL football next season. Our result means f. all to them surely? Small minded knobs! My Midland colours are now blue!

This morning Mrs Chap was on the driveway wiping the snow off the car windows. She had already started the engine and presumably had the fan blowing. I close the door thinking she's setting off. Next thing she appears at the door. I open it and she says "I just want to change my shoes" - but she's left the engine running. I say "Can you take the keys out of the car" to which she replies "I'll only be a minute". To which I replied "If that get's nicked we'll have to find twenty grand to replace it as the insurance won't cover us". At this she storms out of the door saying "I'll go in these shoes then, shall I?" and slams the door. 30 minutes later I get a text from her at work saying "You'll be glad to hear that the car is okay, you inconsiderate pig". I rang her thinking she was joking. She wasn't and the conversation lasted about 15 seconds. Mostly silent. For fuck's sake. We live in quite a nice road but at the end of it is a walkthrough to a bit of a slag estate where various characters go to buy and smoke/inject their shite. Any doped-up fucker could come walking past and see an opportunity for a free fairground ride. Who's in the bloody right here? Did I really do anything wrong? And rag week was last week so it can't be that.