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Jimmy Greaves: He's England's most prolific (and funniest) goalscorer, but now he prefers to watching rugby and cricket | Mail Online Visitors to the O2 tonight should have got Michael Jackson. Instead there is Jimmy Greaves. He smiles broadly at that: 70 years old and still going strong. He'll be on stage for his travelling show at 7pm: two hours, not including the interval, and only the last 20 minutes devoted to a question-and-answer session. The rest of the time it is just Jim: telling jokes, telling stories, quite a marathon stint at his age. Tonight, as it's his birthday, he will be joined by a few old pals and the gig will last even longer. 'It's a shame Michael Jackson could not make it,' he says. 'He could have popped over from the other hall and we'd have introduced him to "Chopper" Harris.' Pause. 'Not that he'd be able to do much moonwalking after that, mind you.' 'Or any other walking, really.' Jim's tour is a long-standing fixture on the theatre circuit. 'I'll have to phone my agent first,' he adds, 'just to check whether this is the farewell or the comeback. 'We alternate them every year. Well, what else are you meant to do at 70?' What indeed? His fans come because they remember the player, and the wonderful goals, but in many ways the greatest achievement of Greaves's life has been its second act; the recovery from alcoholism followed by a successful career as television pundit, newspaper columnist and raconteur. There is a serious man behind the cheery façade, one who appreciates that the most challenging aspect of a sporting life is what to do when it ends. He could easily have been a tragic figure, like Paul Gascoigne or George Best. The intelligence and insight it required to survive addiction is what sets him apart, even though he has never claimed expertise on football, or what lies beyond. 'It is not easy being a sportsman,' he says. 'Put aside the money and the glamour for a moment and just think of the life. Sportsmen have to settle for second best very early. No matter what you do, no matter what you go on to achieve. Take Mike Atherton. Superb broadcaster; great cricket writer. But it's not like being England's opening batsman, is it? It is not like being captain of the England team. 'So it does not matter who you are, the minute you stop playing your sport you are now beginning your second best life. It can't be as good. And you're not 70, you're 30. You've got 40 years ahead and that is not easy to live with. You've got to reinvent yourself and you don't know how. 'If you take a guy like Paul Gascoigne, he has no chance, because the only time he even looked remotely comfortable was on a football pitch. Yet we all have to find something to do because your career is cut off and the one thing you are able to do is taken away. People blame football for what has happened to Paul, but it's not football that cheats you, it is nature. Suddenly, you can't do it any more and you have to start again.' So would you advise him? Could you help? 'It's not for me to advise anybody,' Greaves concludes. 'I don't set myself up as an expert. Life is life, and we've all got to sort ourselves out. Usually, there will be family members around a certain person who want something done, but if the actual person is not interested, there is no point. I've dealt with some friends, helped them if I can, but the person has to come to you. If you are going to them, you are wasting your time.' It sounds cold, but that is not the intention. What sets Greaves apart, as a companion and a colleague (having thoroughly enjoyed working with him on his newspaper column for several years) is a complete absence of ego. His experiences have made him wise, but not hectoring. He knows that nostalgia draws his audiences, but is unpretentious enough to find that odd. He maintains that he cannot remember much of his playing career, yet accepts strangers can, and is charmed by that. Most ironically, he inspires a love of football in others that he never truly felt himself. 'I do find it strange that people are still interested 40 years on,' he says. 'If a welder finishes a job he doesn't get grilled on it 40 years later. I've been a lot of things since, done a lot of things since, and I'm still talking about goals I scored in 1962. I can't explain it. I'm more revered now than I was when I was playing. Back then, I would sit in a corner, smoke my pipe and everyone ignored me. 'There are some players that can recall every game they played. I can't. People are always coming up to me, "Jim, can you remember that goal against West Brom in 1968?" and I say, "No". But that's all right because they only want to tell you about what happened to them, anyway. "Well, you had the ball on the halfway line, and I remember that because I was with Charlie and we'd just got two pies..." and it turns out the real story is about Charlie dropping his pie and what you did wasn't all that important anyway. And I prefer that, really. 'I've always said the person on the football field wasn't me. George Best felt that, too. I'm a very poor example of a footballer, really. I don't even know why I was a footballer. There was no reason for it. My dad played hockey, in India. There was no history of footballers in my family. I'm not sure I even wanted to be one as a kid. I just liked playing. 'I never thought about it. I woke up and wanted to play football, for 12 hours a day. And that never changed when I was a professional. It was the playing I liked, nothing else. 'I used to go to a tennis club that was owned by the Co-op. They had a Sunday football team and we would play the Met Police or local company teams. I used to turn out for them, so did Alan Sealey, Brian Dear, Cliff Jones, and on some mornings we'd have Bobby Moore and Geoff Hurst on the line, waiting to come on. And we were all still playing, all still professionals. We just fancied a match and a pint in the bar afterwards. That was what it was like. 'Players still played for the fun of it. I can remember a match between England and Brazil in the Maracana stadium in Rio de Janeiro. Brazil were 1-0 up and I made one of the greatest mistakes of my life. I equalised. You could see them looking at each other and thinking, "Right, here we go", and they scored about four in 15 minutes and beat us 5-1. 'We had the raving hump and were off the next day, so we went down to the Copacabana beach and there were these kids playing. We thought we'd take it out on them. And they beat us 8-1, We couldn't get the ball off them. You kill it (the ball) in the air in beach football. They absolutely slaughtered us. Didn't get near them.' These days, Greaves prefers cricket and rugby union. Perhaps he always did. There is too much artifice in the modern game for him now, too much hype. As a member of England's World Cup-winning squad in 1966, receiving his medal belatedly during half-time of a recent match with Andorra, Greaves was roped in for a brief television interview. Asked about that night's action, he pretended not even to know England's opponents. 'Andorra?' he queried. 'I've never seen such a bad team in my life. I mean that.' He was hurriedly moved on. Nobody shines light on football's magic these days. Nobody wants to hear that Super Sunday might not be so super after all. 'We were sitting in the stands, all the members of the 1966 squad,' Greaves recalls, 'and we were looking at each other as the game is going on and you know everybody is thinking, "Why didn't we get to play teams like this?". We couldn't believe what we were watching. So I said what we all thought. The TV people weren't happy. They didn't say it, but I could tell. 'When I worked in television you didn't have to wear rose-coloured glasses at the game. You watch a match now, at half-time a bloke comes on, flashes his teeth and tells you it's fabulous. And I'm thinking, "No, mate, it was crap". So, bing, that gets turnedover, you watch something else for 15 minutes waiting for the second half to start, get interested in that programme, and never go back to the match. Well I do, anyway. 'I watch rugby and think there are men out there, playing. I'm not so sure about football now. People tell me it's better than before, but it isn't to me. It's not a game I recognise. I think everything is overblown: it's all about what goes on around the game, not the game itself. 'Players score and they've got to wipe their a*** on the corner flag because if they celebrate someone complains to the Old Bill. It is alien, all that nonsense. And what's that about, putting your finger to your lips? You've scored a goal. That's your job. Get back to the halfway line and get on with it. I watch it, but I don't feel in tune with it. I've much more affinity to cricket and rugby. 'My choice was to be out of the game. I didn't want to know about football other than playing. I never thought about it. I never sat around scratching my head working out systems. You went on the field, you could play or you couldn't, that was it. Denis Law and George Best were like that, too. I got dragged back in by television, but that was never my intention. Mine was a different time. 'I used to drive to matches, park in the side street and walk to the ground. That was how it was. John Sillett told me about a nightmare game he had at left back for Chelsea. He scored an own goal, the full works. He said he took his time leaving, to let the crowd go. He waited until it was getting dark, pulled his overcoat up and headed to the bus stop. And he was standing there waiting, and there were still a few fans about, and they were slagging him off without knowing he was in the middle of them. He said he didn't want to take any chances, so he joined in. 'But you know what makes me laugh? The idea of a footballer at a bus stop. Can you imagine that now? And it was not as if football was unpopular then: Chelsea used to play in front of 50,000 people, more than they get now. 'One day I was walking to Chelsea with Les Stubbs. These dustmen were emptying the bins, and a big cloud of dust went over us. Les said to him, "Watch out mate, there's a load of s*** in that bin". The bloke pointed to Stamford Bridge and said, "Not as much s*** as there'll be out there this afternoon". You wouldn't get that now. It kept you grounded. No barriers. 'Some things haven't changed. That business with John Terry could happen in any walk of life, at any time. The difference is that when I played, Mrs Terry would have gone down the pub with a mate for two Mackesons and a packet of Gold Flake, and now she p****s off to Dubai for a month. My wife Irene must be willing me to have an affair. "Do me a favour. Jim, I could do with a week in Dubai".' Boom and, indeed, boom. There will be no King of Pop, but that does not mean there won't be one hell of a performer on stage at the O2 tonight. Talk turns to the upcoming games in Milan and Jim shuffles off to have his photograph taken still recalling his brief time as a striker in Serie A. 'I got hit with so many fines I usually needed the win bonus to break even,' he says. 'There used to be these girls that watched training, they would call out and wave to the players. I didn't have a clue who they were. I thought they were fans. So I was driving to training one morning and they were standing by the road and I thought as the new player I should be nice, so I pulled over and asked if they wanted a lift and they jumped in and we arrived at training together, the three of them in my Jaguar. Nice bit of PR, I thought the club would be delighted. Turned out they were all prostitutes. Cost me a fortune, that did.' Seventy today, but he still knows how to finish. Maybe Jacko just didn't fancy the competition.

what a fucking wanker, flicked ssn on when that shit bastard scored for the pretenders to check other scores on and theres Le Toss smiling away loving us losing as usual, if Thommo cant do our games no more neither should he

Purely from a 'getting ridding of these owners' perspective which scenario would be better for the long term health of the club. 4th in the league or 5/6/7th? With a 100m exposure as far as getting the debt extended with RBS is concerned I am thinking that we will have a new controlling owner regardless this summer which would imply that a CL spot would not make a difference either way - Would this assumption be correct?

...if the definition of world-class is top three in the player´s position. I would say four, possibly five. Pepe Reina Goalkeeper Only Iker Casillas and Peter Cech can compete. Glen Johnson Right back This is a maybe because we haven´t seen enough of him against top quality opposition. Maicon and Daniel Alves are probably better. Javier Mascherano Defensive midfielder/Game destroyer Definitely for me. Michael Essien and Esteban Cambiasso are runners-up. Stevie Gerrard Offensive central midfielder Aged 29, I´m not sure for how long he can stay fresh and deliver game after game. He´s definitely the best yet though. Kaka and Cesc Fabregas are runners-up. Fernando Torres Striker The main man, although injuries could ruin his carreer. Runners-up: Wayne Rooney and David Villa. This is when you laugh off my opinions as utter bollocks and call me a Manc in disguise.

Hello, dudes! I invite all of you to that website: Poll: Greatest ever 10 Football club teams: and vote for the best 10 club teams in history of Football. Thank’s for participate!

Login | Facebook Its a football sim with real players. Enjoy (WARNING EXTREMELY ADDICTIVE)

using all the players who've featured since 1991 (who weren't there already!) Reina Jones Hyypia Carragher Riise * McManaman Gerrard Alonso Berger Fowler Torres/Owen Seems to me that all the talk about the chequebooks of others and over a 20 year period our best players haven't cost so much at all. Again not very scientific (and I'm hedging my bets on Torres because I know that's my big fee elephant in the room) but would be interested in others' line-ups Just a bit of fun, just a bit of fun... * as he's the least-shit left back.

When we first signed Riera I thought that he showed a lot of promise and as time went on he would only improve. But in all honesty, he has gone from decent performances to cringeworthy performances. He has no pace, loses the ball too much and more often than not doesn't track back when he has lost it. He is maddening to watch to say the least. In all honesty, I think that he is looking for a move back to Spain in the Summer and I for one, aint gonna be too fussed if he goes. I'll even pay for the flight if we can get anywhere near to £10million for him - which has been the rumoured fee in the past. Albert Riera certainly isn't the one for me:whatever:.

Eamon Dunphy just on Irish tv: 'Wayne Rooney is the greatest player since Pele'. Did I laugh my bollox off! How many players can we name since Pele retired that are better than rooney.. I'll start with: Zidane

Yeah it exists. Lucas Leiva | Unofficial Fansite | Liverpool FC's Lucas Pezzini Leiva

One nil up with 10 minutes to go - get beat two one by Birmingham City -ha! That'll teach you to give free points to the scum at Old Toilet! Some of their fans at work celebrated their draw against us like it was a victory. I had to point out to them that we were shite and they still couldn't beat us. Then they asked if I had channel 5 on my tele - like they'll be watching any grade of European football - ever! Mind you they won't even be able to watch the football league round up next season as they've all got horses in their front rooms getting in the way of the tele. Looking forward to the banter from the bluenoses at work tomorrow! Get back to the Championship McCarthy you Slur loving small timer!

Who agrees and who doesn't IMO, if City beat us, the damage will not only be on the points and their game in hand, but they'll also start to believe more and that will be IT for us. On the other hand if we win, we have 3 easy games afterwards and I think we'll be opening the gap and a draw at OT would be enough after those 3 games. A draw would still keep things confusing I think, hence the likely scenario.

Arsenal 1996- Arsene Wenger Man City 2009- Roberto Mancini Wolfsburg 1998-2003 Wolfgang Wolf Any more?

Why can't he just retire so i don't have to see him on the news all the fucking time. He will get picked for the WC squad no doubt (fuck knows why) and lurk around for a few yrs yet but i just hate the fan fare that surrounds him when he was never that a good a player yet gets alot of air time especially on sports news. The whole build up to the Man U/AC game is about him it seems and whenever England play it's about who is better than him to warrant a place on the right midfield. Not who is HE better than to deserve a place in the squad itself. p.s he still very pretty, bless!

He´s a Red and reports suggest he wants the job.

Brazil star Ronaldinho doubtful for World Cup squad Brazilian Ronaldinho has played 87 times for his country Ronaldinho could miss the World Cup after being omitted from Brazil's final warm-up friendly ahead of the summer tournament in South Africa. He will not face Ireland at Arsenal's Emirates Stadium in London on 2 March. The AC Milan star, 29, has not played for Brazil since the start of 2009, but his improved recent form has encouraged supporters to call for his return. But coach Dunga has resisted pressure from the fans and local media in Brazil to recall the ex-Barcelona forward. The 1994 World Cup winning captain has kept faith with Michel Bastos (Lyon), Juan and Doni (both Roma), Kleberson (Flamengo) and Gilberto (Cruzeiro). Former Manchester City forward Robinho, who is now on-loan at Santos, has been included in the squad as has Liverpool midfielder Lucas. But there is no place for Manchester United midfielder Anderson. Ronaldinho won the World Cup in 2002 and famously knocked out England at that tournament after lobbing keeper David Seaman with a second-half free-kick. Brazil legend Pele was another who called for Ronaldinho to return to the fold. Ronaldinho has appeared 87 times for his country, scoring 32 times. He was also twice named World player of the year in 2004 and 2005 and has won the prestigious Ballon d'Or (european player of the year) once. Brazil squad to face Ireland: Goalkeepers: Julio Cesar (Inter Milan), Doni (Roma). Defenders: Maicon (Inter Milan), Daniel Alves (Barcelona), Gilberto (Cruzeiro), Michel Bastos (Lyon), Juan (Roma), Lucio (Inter Milan), Luisao (Benfica), Thiago Silva (AC Milan). Midfielders: Gilberto Silva (Panathinaikos), Josue (Wolfsburg), Felipe Melo (Juventus), Lucas (Liverpool), Kaka (Real Madrid), Ramires (Benfica), Elano (Galatasaray), Julio Baptista (Roma), Kleberson (Flamengo). Forwards: Robinho (Santos), Adriano (Flamengo), Nilmar (Villarreal), Luis Fabiano (Seville).

Please excuse this thread because im a tad drunk but... Whoever set this up needs to be punished. If i met him in real life i'd rip his fucking head off. Login | Facebook

The man is simply a legend: ---------------------- Rafa hails 'right-back' Dirk Rafa Benitez today heaped praise on Dirk Kuyt for his role in getting Liverpool back to winning ways - and revealed how the Dutchman offered to play at right-back amid the club's injury crisis. Rafa hails 'right-back' Dirk - Liverpool FC Kuyt was the two-goal hero as Liverpool beat top-four rivals Tottenham last week and was the subject of several questions as the gaffer gave his pre-Wolves press conference on Monday. "He has a fantastic mentality," Benitez told reporters. "We talk about him being a striker who has played on the right because we needed it. He can also play as a second striker. "When we played in the Cup and Philipp Degen had cramps, he said to me that if I wanted he could play at right-back. "It's not just his versatility and the fact he's in very good condition, it's his mentality. He's always ready to help the team. "He is a player that every manager would want in their team. You can play him or not but he's always available, always ready and always helping the team. "When you talk about a squad or a winning team, you need players with this mentality. If you have to change something for a game or have to put a player out of position, he is always available. That's massive for a manager." Meanwhile, Benitez has been delighted with the attitude of his players in the last two fixtures against Tottenham and Stoke. Now he wants to see the same workrate at Wolves, where victory will lift the Reds into fourth place. "The players have been really good," said the boss. "The commitment and the team spirit has been very good. "When you don't have two important players like Gerrard and Torres, everyone has to stick together and work hard. The players have taken responsibility. "People realise we could have won that (Stoke) game and I think it was a really good performance from the team. Since then we've been stronger. "Wolves work very hard and have a good mentality as a team, so I think it will be a tough game for us. But we have the challenge that we can be in the top four if we beat them. "We had problems with injuries, late goals and beach balls. If you put everything together it could have made a big difference. But everyone is working so hard now that it's easier for us to get results." Benitez believes there will be plenty more twists in the race for Champions League qualification regardless of Tuesday's result. "The four teams are so close and I think it will be the same for the rest of the season, so it's not a big difference if you're fifth or fourth at this stage," he said. With Liverpool out of the FA Cup, Benitez gave his players some time off before they returned to full training on Saturday. He added: "Maybe (being out of the Cup) you'll have more time to train with the players. When you have two games a week you cannot prepare things too much. You have to carry on with the games and rest players with light training. "When you have time you can prepare things a bit better." Elsewhere, Nabil El Zhar and Martin Kelly are back in training following persistent injury problems. ------------------------------- Good to have Kelly back..

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Anyone watching the Feyenoord v Ajax game? It's 1-1 with about 17 minutes to go and it's been an entertaining game.

Has told Brazillian Radio he's back off to Brazil and today is his last game for city according to Sky. Great signing that.

Was always a fan of Shearer and Ferdinand at Newcastle, solid, hard working, awesome in the air and Shearer lethal in the box.

Someone on RAWK has images of Liverpool's new shirts for next season. He claims they are pre-production samples, so they don't show the Standard Chartered logo on them. I can't post the images, and I'm not sure I should link another forum on here, so I shall describe them. Home shirt - scarlet red (of course!). Plain red with broken (white) shoulder stripes like our current away kits. Red round-neck collar. Adidas badge on right chest. Small white piping on the sleeves and bottom of the shirt. The front of the shirt has a triangle pattern inset, a bit like the square pattern on last year's grey away kit, or more accurately, the pattern on the 1990 grey away shirts. Away shirt - if the image is genuine, this is the real gem I think. White shirt with red shoulder stripes and red pinstripes down the front. Black V-neck collar with the front part in red. Adidas badge again on the right chest. The Liverpool badge is all red and white with gold Hillsborough flames (no green at all!). I'm not sure why the home shirt badge still has green on it having seen this. European/3rd shirt - black with bright yellow rounded collar and bright yellow shoulder stripes. Again the Adidas badge is on the right chest. The Liverpool badge looks to be all bright yellow with black detailing, so it matches the look of the shirt. Otherwise it appears quite plain-looking. None of the shirts show Adidas's new TechFit bra-strap design, although they might be available on final versions.

Things have got to me,I can't understand all this labeling. Im taking a fucking break from life It's went to my fucking head I promised it wouldn't bu it has...

Prem: Gerrard on Lucas | Setanta Steven Gerrard has told the Liverpool supporters to stop criticising under-fire midfielder Lucas Leiva. The Brazil international, 22, has been booed by his own fans this season as he has struggled to find his best form and recently admitted that ‘some people don't trust me yet’. However, he has already received the full backing of boss Rafa Benitez, and Gerrard has now called on the Liverpool fans to get behind the player as he develops. “The criticism he receives does get to me,” he said in the Daily Star Sunday. “I think people forget he’s 22 years old. He’s not 27 or 28. “I remember what I was like at that age and I look at where I am now. “I know that I’m a one-million-percent better player now. I got better with experience. “I made mistakes and learned and it has helped me become the player I am. “Lucas is a good player and I know he’ll continue to get better.” Gerrard has also called for critics to recognise the contribution of the rest of the squad after the team’s recent impressive run. Gerrard and Fernando Torres have taken most of the plaudits after the impressive victories over Real Madrid, Manchester United and Aston Villa, but the club captain feels it has been a team effort. "It's an absolute privilege to captain this football club at any time, but especially when the team is playing the way it is," he said. "It makes my job an awful lot easier when you don't have to talk too much to players because they are just doing their jobs without that being needed. "Confidence is really high right now and we're certainly enjoying playing together. We are playing without fear and without anxiety and I think you're seeing some superb football from us in the last couple of weeks. "I'm playing with magnificent players. Torres and myself have had a lot of pats on the back of late, but it's important to acknowledge our teammates who have been fantastic. "That's from the goalkeeper and the defence right through to the front. "The two full backs have been magnificent lately, the centre backs have been the same. I could go right through the team and everyone is doing their job properly. “Long may that continue and hopefully it will right up until the end of the season. "If we keep playing the way we have been over the last three games then it's going to be an exciting finish." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gerrard really has matured into a true Captain Marvel. The guy is a fucking LEGEND.