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OK. Seeing as the landlord of this place fancies a pig, we might as well all come clean (no pun intended) and admit to some objects of desire that maybe others would not find so tasty (I like bacon Dave, so this doesn't include yours). I'll kick us off with Ray's missus in Everybody loves Raymond.

I have it on here to see if Ken Barlow is still playing away from home (unfortunately he isn't). Anyways, there is an old man in it who has recently had a stroke (the character, not the actor). What an annoying old twat he is. Most annoying voice on television. God, I hope he fucks off so that he isn't still around the next time I tune into this programme. He's a greasy old bastard as well.

Who's got one, what does it feel like, are they really dead expensive, got any pics? I got a few questions... Im considering it you see.

I had a 4 hour train journey yesterday from Cardiff so went to the WH Smith for some reading material. I bought a Private Eye and the latest Viz Fuck me the Viz is funny. I haven't read it in about 2 years and just thought I'd give it a go (if nothing else for the Profanosaurus) but I was pissing myself on the train Some of the comic strips were brilliant. 24 the dog, Mr Logic, there was a detective story about how a young Elizabeth II found a porter who didn't bow to her mother. It was superb. The letters were probably the funniest "Every time my clock reads 9:11 I get a chilly shiver down my spine. Not because I am remembering the 2001 atrocity but because I'm over 10 minutes late for work" had me in stitches. The 'Top Tips' too (also reader submitted) 'Fool your doctor into thinking you're going on an exciting, exotic holiday by booking in for malaria jabs' I'm sure the prim and proper middle ages lady who was on the train from Abegaveny to Shrewsbury disapproved, her monocle practically fell into her martini. But I reckon I'll be buying this every month now!

Another year passes by, another perfect hat trick hits the scrap book, never blessed with pace but a goal instinct Like no other, all the best and thanks for the forum, it is largely responsible for the strange man I am today.

Just saw her on a advert sexy as hell and her voice is proper sexy. Can't post any pictures Im on my phone.

He had his first traning today. Getty Images - Unsupported browser detected

This prisoner thread has made me think about things that I have done in my lifetime that I could potentially have been sent to prison for. 10 years ago, I bit my ex-partner's nose off. The police came round to my house to arrest me for assault, but when I explained that this ex had beaten the crap out of me for years, and produced crime log numbers to back it up, and that I'd bitten him after he'd had me pinned up against a wall for hours and I was trying to get away to call the police, they dropped it and I never heard another thing about it. I was lucky that it was a decent copper. It easily could have gone the other way. How many of us, being absolutely honest, have never commited a crime? Maybe you've "borrowed" a laptop from work and forgotten to return it, or went 5 years without buying a TV licence? You might be a decent, upstanding member of society now, but had a wayward spell in your teens and become a graffiti artist. 'Fess up. Poll to follow.

And an 89% pass completion rate last night. The boys come good I'd say.

Apologies for the new thread, but I couldn't think where to put them. The film thread didn't seem appropriate, neither did the gif thread, but the GF should see these: If we don't, remember me.

I have been on Rawk for a few years and been on the liverpool way recently, and I'm amazed by the community that you people have on the site like. I find it fascinating that some of you guys have become mates and shit over the years and dave has helped create this comunity of people. I bet it's fuckin helped a few of you over the years as well like. So me question is, How has the liverpool way website , influenced ya life over the years? Hope ya don't neg me haha

YNWA etc... So, hands up who had a proper Sony Walkman at one point? I remember getting one for xmas and being disappointed it wasn't the yellow waterproof version. Why the hell would I need a waterproof walkman? It was a chunky plastic number, whereas my dad had this awesome, sleek metal model. Sexy. Some lad at school had one with digital controls. Wanker. The joy was in the huge buttons on the sides. I remember listening to it in art class when I sat on a rickety old stool and it broke. Weeks to get over that humiliation.

Was playing FIFA with a few friends last night, and then Beyonce-Single Ladies came on. My proper scally mate turned around and said in true style 'Argh lad she'd get it'. So I was sitting there, with my mate no doubt nursing a lob on watching the video to 'Single Ladies', and I had to ask myself. Why have I not got a lob on, and why don't I find Beyonce remotely attractive? I mean I don't think she's sexy, or even pretty I think she's very average, with a fat arse and thats about it. Any advances on Beyonce?

is make or break for TLW. Basically, unless things really pick up financially I'm not going to be able to carry on much longer. I'm sick of constantly worrying about money and bills and shit, and unless I can start making this work I'm going to have to pack it in and look for a steady job with a regular pay cheque at the end of every month. The thought of that scares the shit out of me, as I've been doing this for so long I can't imagine doing anything else. But I see no alternative the way things are going. Sales of the fanzine have been pretty consistent overall, I sell roughly the same now as I did when I started. That's not bad, considering how many fanzines across the country have come and gone in that time. The internet has killed a lot of fanzines, and although I'm sure it's had an effect on TLW, it's also helped in a way as the site has really helped promote the magazine across the world. But when I started I lived with my parents, and didn't have any bills to pay or any family to support. It was fine then, money wasn't an issue. It's different now though. The cost of living has gone up a fair bit since 1999 too, but in that time there's only been the one price increase to £2.50. I've no plans to put it up again though, as I don't think that's the issue. It's not about getting more money from the people who are already buying TLW, I need to either get more people buying it or find another way to get money in. I do the ressies reports for the Post and Echo, and even though the money is crap, without that extra cash I'd have had to pack TLW in a year or two ago. Sales at the match are shit, and getting worse. I sell less than half what I did when I started, but the number of subscribers I have has helped to soften the blow a bit. I hit an all time low at the Pompey game though, when me and my dad sold 24 between us. A crowd of 45,000 and we sold twenty fucking four. Just what I needed before Christmas. The fanzine is how I make my living, and the website is how I promote the fanzine. In an ideal world it would be the other way round. I'd make enough off the site to live on, and the fanzine would be extra cash rather than my only real source of income. I don't think that's possible though, even though the site generally gets around 50,000 visitors a month. I'm not saying this to get people to make 'donations' to the site, as that side of things is actually ok. Between donations, the bonus ball and atk's ridiculous bets the hosting fees are being taken care of, and I can honestly say I don't touch any of that money myself. It's a seperate bank account that is only used for the running of the site. Dipping into that would be like stealing from the church plate! On that subject by the way, I know I'm well behind on the bonus ball payments, but I've got a list of names who I need to send cheques out to and I will be doing that in the next couple of days. I'm just fed up of relying on family helping me out. I drive a car that my dad bought for me and my mum insured, and I'm living in a house that my missus has more or less paid for with money she got from selling her own house. We furnished it with money from my parents. It's unacceptable really, I've got a little girl to support and I need to get my act together financially. I either need to sell more fanzines, make money from the site, get more freelance work, or pack it all in and get a 'proper' job. I don't know how to do the first three, and I don't want to do the fourth, but I think I'm going to have to. Sorry to be putting all my troubles on you in the festive season and all that, but I need ideas, or Steve Kelly won't be the only Liverpool Fanzine editor hanging up his keyboard this season.

Please click this link: Clicky It's nothing dodgy ;)

Just thought I'd put it up again on a new thread. Not going now so would have to sort out today. PM me.