Mook

There are probably toddlers with one leg who kick better than big Simon.

I hope so, mate, my heart goes out to you. I'm another one who has had it easy with mine, I would be going up the walls (probably in the pub) if I was in your shoes I think.

Jay, pictured at work today.

It must be fucking bad if he's having to pay £4 for a cup of coffee to get away from it.

Some LPs that came out in '71 Marvin Gaye - What's going on Led Zeppelin IV The Who - Who's Next Pink Floyd - Meddle Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers Miles Davis - A tribute to Jack Johnson David Bowie - Hunky Dory Carole King - Tapestry Yes - Fragile Black Sabbath - Master of Reality T-Rex - Electric Warrior Sly & The Family Stone - There's a riot going on Mahavishnu Orchestra - Inner Mounting Flame ELP - Tarkus Joni Mitchell - Blue You could make a case for each & every one of them being a stone cold classic & there were loads more. I think '71 is a good shout although you could pick any year in the late 60s/early 70s & it would sound pretty fucking good.

When men were men.

Brilliant news, Byrnie, congratulations.

They certainly don't look amused.

I wouldn't feed corned beef to my worst enemy, or my cat. And they're the same person.

I think he means cum dribbling out your cock about 10 minutes after you've had a wank. Or something.

Cheers, yes - clearly that's completely fucking mental.

What happens currently? Totally genuine question by the way, I would've assumed that the parents paid for these things in America at the moment.

Just had a look online to see who is on... "The line-up for the ceremony includes Robbie Williams, Little Mix, The 1975, Emeli Sandé, Bruno Mars and Skepta. Following her performance of new, political single Chained to the Rhythm at The Grammys on Sunday, Katy Perry was announced as a performer on Tuesday. Ed Sheeran has also tweeted that he'll performing on the night, and he even has his own emoji to prove it." So that's Katy Perry & the wee blonde one out of Little Mix I wouldn't mind watching, the rest - I would rather saw my own face off & then there's Robbie fucking Williams, who is going to receive an 'Icon award for outstanding contribution to music' apparently, what the fuck? Sorry Katy but it'll have to be Youtube in the morning.

I read something yesterday which has left me dumfounded at the current state of popular music... Apparently Ed Sheeran is on course to knock himself off the No.1 spot in the charts on Sunday. On topic, apparently Katy Perry is performing at this year's ceremony, I'd boil her knickers & crawl through eight miles of Orlando Bloom's toenail clippings in order to beat myself to death with the pan.

Your memory must be as bad as mine because we've had that discussion a couple of times. I've seen Pulp Fiction & if that rhyme is in it then it has escaped me like a dove departing its nest to head East for the great carnival of Tanktatta.

No, I preferred a more weighty tome.

Surely it would've been a police truncheon if that had been the case.

Ah, I've just looked it up & apparently people used to replace the word 'tiger' with the name of the dog out of Dambusters. Genuinely did not know that. I'm still not convinced that the t-shirt is racist though.

Primark have had to withdraw a t-shirt due to a complaint that it was 'fantastically offensive' by a customer in Sheffield:- http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39051079/backlash-after-primark-pulls-fantastically-offensive-walking-dead-t-shirt The t-shirt has 'Eeny Meeny Miny Moe' written on it along with a picture of a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire - in reference to The Walking Dead tv programme. I don't know the song myself, I thought it was a way to get children to count their fingers/toes. Is there anyone on here who would see that t-shirt in the street & think it was racially offensive?

Personally speaking I've just had to get over the fact that I didn't get my bonus this year and my job is hanging in the balance. There's only so many times I can call all the leave voters complete and utter spastics.

Aye, I saw it the other night and it had a fair effect on me. Can't really put something like that into words.

Behind the scenes...

German soldiers react to being shown footage from Nazi concentration camps, 1945. Mussolini & his mistress hung in Milan, also 1945.

My boss has spent the afternoon saying 'subjective' when she means 'objective', she's said it about 14 times in the same context so it's not one you could put down to a slip up. My dilemma is, should I tell her or just smash her over the head with an anvil? Decisions decisions.