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First, a bit of Milligan ... There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in. The holes are very small that's why rain is thin. Mrs. Dighty in her nighty, walking in the dark; Trod upon a puppy's tail and made the creature bark. Mrs. Dighty in her nighty, let the creature go; By lifting up her instep and raising her big toe. I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky; I left my shoes and socks there - I wonder if they're dry? and then, the only poem I can still recite in full from my childhood: Faster than fairies, faster than witches, Bridges and houses, hedges and ditches; And charging along like troops in a battle, All through the meadows the horses and cattle: All of the sights of the hill and the plain Fly as thick as driving rain; And ever again, in the wink of an eye, Painted stations whistle by. Here is a child who clambers and scrambles, All by himself and gathering brambles; Here is a tramp who stands and gazes; And there is the green for stringing the daisies! Here is a cart run away in the road Lumping along with man and load; And here is a mill and there is a river: Each a glimpse and gone for ever! 'From a Railway Carriage' R. L. Stevenson

Figured that I may as well join in.

Levi Roots and his infamous sauce. Dragons' Den gold.

A random stumble? On a site with millions and millions of profiles. I think it would be too obvious that he was making excuses. Just face her like a man and send her a message. A day or two probably won't make a difference either as it will still be clear that you looked her up. Do it. Do it now.* *and post the message on here. Only for further advice purposes, of course.

If she asked about you, then I don't think it's odd for you to message her. She was clearly interested. Is there no chance that you might just run into her again at another party or on a night out?

Given your comment on the plastic surgery thread, there appears to be a very oddly shaped portion of your face that you're not so happy with. Hiding the offending area behind a classic 'hogan' tache is the perfect distraction. Well done.

There's not enough rep in the world for the accuracy of the above advice, never mind the speed with which it was given.

You have to make a donation to the site or sign up for a full 'season ticket'. I believe it's £24 a year for that. Then you will have the power of the neg and the ability to have an avatar etc etc.

Interested to know many of you fine people would contemplate going under the knife or having some kind of cosmetic surgery? Poll to follow (when I figure out how to do one) Botox for men is on the rise - Times Online I think that I would in the future, but only to the extent that I would have botox injections. The people who have endless surgeries and end up looking like they've been put together wrong scare the shit out of me. I can understand people who have major surgery of this type for medical/health reasons but other than that it seems a bit extreme to have every part of you corrected. Who would want to end up looking like this.

Seriously? I'm really not up to date on my 'dead people'. Swayze is still alive, right? As is Goody? Wendy Richards is the one who recently died.

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I have a bottle of this in the fridge at the moment. It is truly wonderous stuff. Goes with everything.

Not entirely sure how you've come to that conclusion, given that one day the marks aren't there and the next they are. This is besides the fact that you can actually see him pushing the plaster cast into her face. Each to their own though, I guess.

This came to my attention a couple of weeks ago and I thought I would share it with the GF. Having read the capital punishment thread I know that some of you hold some very strong views in favour of the death penalty, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts on this kind of practice. Manufacturing Guilt?: Experts say this exclusive video shows a dental examiner creating the bite marks that put a man on death row. - Reason Magazine The video is about 2/3 down the page and is only 30 secs long, so have a look. The rest of the article is pretty interesting too. Not only is the guy mentioned affected by this, but many others too; some of whom are clients at the office I'm working at.

RL tried to do that to me last summer in Turkey. The cheeky camely twat said no. That's Israel, not Egypt. Close, but not close enough. As for clothing, she definitely needs to cover herself up outside the hotel for the aforementioned reasons ... the men will stare. In the hotel you should be fine though. I only went to Cairo as well so not sure about other places, but by the pyramids, in the museums and in the city etc you both probably need to be covered.

My god woman. Yes, I hover. Mainly to avoid the above problems. These cheeks have never touched a public lav seat. You still have to 'stand up' after the squat though. That's the movement I was referring to.

... I discovered a number of things. 1. Joy Division are the perfect 'driving through the Delta' accompaniment; 2. One of the most disgusting things in the world is going into a public toilet and finding someone elses discarded pube on the seat. Pubes are evil and should be destroyed. (NB: Similar rules apply to finding the last person's urine on the seat. Why can't other women finish peeing before standing up?); 3. You can't drink a drink from Subway 2 hours+ after you bought it as it starts to taste like the plastic cup thing it is in; 4. On a similar Subway theme, I found that you should never wear white when eating a sandwich covered in the 'Southwestern' sauce; 5. The purple one in American Skittles is grape flavoured ... wtf is that about?; 6. You can't trust old women who answer their doors in orange nighties (at 3 in the afternoon I might add); 7. The women who live in Sat Navs are dosey bitches. If mine tells me to do a u-turn on a interstate slip road one more time, she's going out of the window; 8. Coors lager tastes shit when it's not cold. I'm just left wondering what joys tomorrow will bring.

FAO Leeson : Stop negging for no reason. Especially when you punctuate the negging with phrases like 'Back once again like a renegade hamster' *shakes head in despair* I know you feel it is your duty in 'life' (i.e. the GF) to be as 'neg-tastic' as possible, but I am low on 'green-ness' as it is, as I am new, so please stop torturing me.

I don't have the four book collection, but I've read the Running Man as well. May have to make a new purchase and get the others read. Glad there's some people with good taste on the GF.

So, I probably shouldn't tell you that that this is the wrong use of the word 'your' then? No problem. Keep up the good work.

Just started reading this again; almost forgot how good it is. Possibly my favourite book of all time. Must have read it 15 times. Stephen Kind writing as Richard Bachman. Anyone else ever read it? I don't want to spoil the storyline for anyone who hasn't heard of it as the main idea/twist really shocked me when I read it the first time. Its a truly terrifying idea. I always thought someone should make a film out of it.* *Copyrighted to me for the idea of course.

He would have more luck if I was at home. I could take the car in and bob's your uncle ... fixed for £100. Due to me being stunningly charming of course.

Fact: Mondeos are one of only three cars that the whole of the Top Gear team agree on as being good.* Can't recall the other two right now. * Edit: Not sure where I'm going with this ...

Fugitive, you did the right thing. No *ball allowed. Jennings will never make that mistake again, although the instant jump from red to 'much to be proud of' may not have portrayed quite the right message. The ratings are very skewed.