Harry Squatter

People who use bereavements or other peoples illnesses as an excuse to act like cunts to other people. My brothers mate died a few years ago but other closer friends to the deceased got on with everything, my brother just enclosed himself in his own little world, ignored his family and acted like the world owed him everything. Even though he saw this lad maybe once a month. Was out with my mate on Friday and his bird turned up, she started winding him up flirting with other fellas, arguing with the bar staff and being a twat to him. She later apologised saying "it's cos my mum died I'm like this now" yet our other mate lost his mum a week before her mum died and he has never acted a cunt to anyone. Some bad scall I used to play a certain game with started drinking too much and when we played he would get himself sent off or have to be subbed to stop him getting an early bath. When the manager told him to sort himself out he screamed at him "me nan's ill yer tit" and stormed off. Fucking cunts stop being cunts and milking other people's deaths as an excuse to be a bigger cunt.

I went out on Friday with my mates in Chester but didn't tell my bird which ones I was going out with. My mate who lives in Crosby posted a picture up on Facebook but showed his location and as he tagged me in on it, my bird instantly assumed I wa with him in Crosby. She said "you're a fucking liar, you are out in Crosby with Ste". I said "no I'm in Chester" She said "prove it" I texted her a photo of the main street of Chester and she still didn't believe me. The weird thing is that the photo he put up was from 1987 in my mates back garden, I had my school uniform on and long hair, my mate who is completely bald had a full head of ginger hair and was small and skinny. I then texted her "you daft twat, I sold my delorean ages ago"

Please go Downing and don't sit off on the bench collecting wages like a massive shithouse.

Have we got 14?

Can woo not get any of his mates to play? I will pick them up from the swan

Uncle Phil ate him for tea last Thursday

Can't we book the small pitch again?

Why not just go round wearing a Sunday league team footy shirt and embroider your own badge, that way everyone will think you play to a decent level of amateur footy. Whereas if you are a slightly overweight man in his late 30's from Crosby, no one will believe that you play for Real Madrid, Barcelona, AC Milan or Spain.

After viewing the Tradtional Shaving Company website I decided to purchase the following: Edwin Jagger DE89 Safety Razor A badger shaving brush Truefitt & Hill West Indian Limes Shaving Cream, also Aftershave Balm from the same company with Lime. Truefitt & Hill Sandalwood Shaving Cream. Bought 5 boxes of Derby razor blades, but for some reason they sent me ten boxes which was a nice bonus. Gonna take a bit of getting used to as they are fucking sharp blades

You will not win, for every skyscraper you save we will smash up a million more

Happy Birthday Dave, pity your last game of footy as a 30 something was a pile of wank (the game in general, not your performance)

He looks like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia

Well that was a pile of wank, anyone reported Bakare going missing to the bizzies yet?

Failing that, jizz on his phone and put it back in the drawe or shove it up your arse for a bit then put it back all smelly, just make sure no one rings him while it's up your arse.

If you can get his phone and on Facebook as mentioned before just befriend tons of random friends, preferably loads of Nigerians who will constantly pester him for money or even hack into his account. If he is friends with any birds, particularly any you work with, make him look like a stalker by liking every single one of their photos or leave sleazy but subtle comments such as "this dress/top/skirt is like one you wore last Monday" rather than saying "I want to shag you" as this looks a bit more obvious that someone got a grip of his phone. The women in work will avoid him as they'll think he's a big sex pest who has been eyeing themnup for a long time or even report him to the manager. Failing that they may have jealous sted head boyfriends who will wait for him and fill him in after work.

Fucking hell this game tonight is going to cost me £7.50 as Mark paid for me last week, I could get a prozzie from that Globe pub up the road for the same price :)

Not that we care it's just funny that every time we me tion a takeover or some movement on the ground they pipe up to try and remind everyone they still exist, they don't care what we say, apart from talking about us at every single opportunity.

Fuckin bitter bastards, everything they ever do revolves around us, you can guarantee that they would never have even mentioned a new stadium if the plans for Anfield weren't released the other day. Liverpool City Council even had to buy their training ground for them to head off the claims of bias towards the redshite.

Love Laurence Fishburne's delayed reaction in the battle scenes, he's sitting off in his office for about half an hour watching some spaceship blow a massive hole in the ground, cars are flying, people getting crushed, buildings falling down left right and centre, Superman, General Zod and his cronies flying through every building smashing them to bits then he just says "err come on lets get off". I'm glad he isn't a fire Marshall where I work.

Can new stadiums fail medicals as well?

Seen this on Skyscraper city forums regarding funding for transport links. This was posted before the announcement so maybe the priorities of this list may alter again. The line itself runs from the docks, past Bootle Town Hall and then under the tunnel next to it, the old stations on the line are Canada Dock, Spellow, Breck Road, Tuebrook, Stanley & Edge Lane before coming out by Wavertree Technology Park and onto mainline services. The expansion of the docks/Liverpool 2 will put more pressure on the roads round Seaforth and the M57. The Government recently created Local Transport Boards as form of extension of the Local Enterprise Partnerships (LEP's) their intention was LTB's would be run by or influenced by the LEP's. Theyve been given some degree of autonomy in spending the Dft's Regional Funding Allocation (also known as the Local Authority Major Capital Schemes) which is a five year grant to sub-regional transport schemes costing more than £5m. They gave the new LTB's just three months (end of July deadline) to create a priority list ranking of what schemes they envisage pursuing over the next spending round 2015/16-2018/2019 and then from April 2014 they would approve and manage the projects. As part of that process Merseyside has created a long list of 36 projects requiring £327m of funding with a value of £377m of which £120m is rail schemes they would like to see go ahead. They are planning to whittle that down to 22 projects at the next meeting.The actual budget they will have will have to spend will be a lot less and will be carried over from the previous funding allocation which is per capita based based on projected population estimates for 2017. Theyve been told to plan for 30% plus or minus the value (for Merseyside thats £35.5m) though I dont think many people are expecting them to actually boost spending, we may be lucky if we get away with only the 10% average departmental cuts planned for the Spending Review in July. The 36 schemes identified in Merseyside before being whittled down to 22 best business cases/fits in a 65% funding envelope (The actual projects rankings have been anonymised so wont know till next meeting or possibly later) 4 Halton 2 Knowsley 8 Liverpool 10 Merseytravel 2 Sefton 5 St Helens 5 Wirral 12 public transport, 17 highways, 4 maintenance and 3 connectivity themes. Location/Project/required funding/total cost Halton Silver Jubilee Bridge Major Maintenance (maintence/strengthening) £3.3m, £4.5m Halton M56 J11A (motorway widening, new east facing sliproad) £19.4m, £21.6m Halton Daresbury Bridges (access roads to enterprise zone) £5.8m, £6.4m Halton Widnes Waterfront EDZ Access Improvements (improved access) £1.9, £2.1m Knowsley A5300 - Access to Opportunity and Employment (M57 Extension A5300) £3.97m, £4.97m Knowsley Industrial Park Access and Connectivity improvements (improved access to Knowsley Industrial Park) £5.6m, £6.6m Liverpool North Liverpool Key Corridors (A565 and A5036 improvements) £13.25, £15m Liverpool International Gateway/Airport Eastern Access Road (new road) £12.6m, £14m Liverpool International Gateway/Speke Estuary Major Scheme (improved junction at entrance to Speke Estuary Business park) £2.95m, £3.3m Liverpool North Liverpool Sandhills Lane Link (improvements for freight) £6m, £6.6m Liverpool Stonebridge MDZ A580 East Lancs Road (access to Mayoral Development Zone) £7.35m, £8.2m Liverpool City Centre SIF-Strand Corridor Scheme (improve public realm between waterfront and city centre) £5.35m, £6.6m Liverpool City Centre Connectivity Programme (job creation) £33.3m, £37m Liverpool City Centre Canning Docks (infrastructure connections to waterfront) £3.6m, £4m Merseytravel Newton-le-Willows Interchange (bus, P&R, rail interchange) £14.65m, £16.25m Merseytravel Maghull North (rail station) £6.1m, £6.8m Merseytravel Carr Mill Station (rail station) £6.2m, £6.9m Merseytravel St Helen's Link (St Helen's Central to St Helen's Junction rail link) £25m, £28m Merseytravel Halton Curves (dualling or electrification?) £12.6m, £15.6m Merseytravel Bootle Branchline (passenger services to Bootle) £46.3m, £51.5mMerseytravel Real Time Passenger Information £2.7m, £3m Merseytravel Kirby Headbolt Lane (rail extension) £24.2m, £26.9m Merseytravel Merseytram Line 1 Replacement Scheme (improve transport facilities) £13.9m, £14.25m Merseytravel Prescot Station (improve access between station and town centre) £2.8m, £3.54m Sefton Southport Eastern Access (access to regeneration area Southport ‘classic resort’ Town Centre) £7.2m, £8m Sefton M58 J1 Junction Improvements £5.5m, £6.15m St Helens A 570 Southern Employment Corridor Improvements (highway capacity at three roundabouts) £3.15m, £3.5m St Helens Road Bridges Package (strengthen weak bridges) £4.6m, £5.1m St Helens Haydock Access Improvements (access to industrial estate) £3m, £3.3m St Helens St Helens Interchange (bus/rail interchange improvement) £4m, £4.55m St Helens Windle Island (junction improvements) £2.9m, £3.3m Wirral A41 Route Improvements (improve connection between A41 and local areas) £5.2, £5.75m Wirral Heron Road to West Kirby Improvements (access to development land) £5.85m, £6.5m Wirral Wirral Dock Bridges (road and dock improvements) £3.73m, £6.7m Wirral Poulton Bridge (replace redundant swing bridge) £1.2m, £3.3m Wirral Streetcar (US style streetcars around Peel development) £7.7m, £10.8m I think £46 million won’t go very far, Roby and Huyton are being upgraded with car parks and a new track being laid for services to Wigan and that is costing £25M. Not sure how they would link it directly to the city centre apart from having to get the train to Wavertree/Broad Green or get on the Northern Line and get off at Oriel Road/The Strand. Three possible sites for stations, this one by Goodison Park, by the police station: Disused Stations: WALTON & ANFIELD STATION Tuebrook Disused Stations: Tue Brook Station Clubmoor (Stanley) Disused Stations: Breck Road Station

Went in 2006 and enjoyed it, did that quad biking in the desert and wore a Yasser Arafat scarf, got a video done and when I put it on back home it looked like an Al Qaeda training video with all Arabic writing going across the screen, grainy footage of me with a scarf on driving round the desert with dodgy music dubbed over it. Would love to go again and do the day trip to Petra which was about 250 back then.

So it's Defo happening then?

Cards, not just Christmas and birthdays. I fucking hate going to card shops and more and more of them seem to open. My ma used to send about 300 christmas cards to randoms she never used to speak to all year or hadn't seen for years, I just don't understand why people send them and hate the phrase "looks like he/she isn't on your Christmas card list" There seems to be a card for virtually every occasion these days from weddings to changing your undies, they all cost a fucking bomb, especially Tatty Teddy cards and guess what? The majority of them end up getting binned after a few days.

Next week then? 1. Rob