There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose co** was so long he could suck it
As he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a c**t I could fuc* it
It was boss when you had to arrange a night out by actually speaking to people, and whilst out on said night out, nobody could get in touch to nag you.
You can have said night out - Just leave your phone at home or let the battery die - The peace is blissful.
McIlroy and Garcia were poor - bottled in on 18.
Poulter was utter dogshit - the 2nd into the water on the par 5 was like a beginner. Felt sorry for Gallagher.
A bloke with a gun enters a bar. "Who the fu*k had sex with my wife?" he snarled. A voice was heard in the background: "You don't have enough bullets mate!"
Enjoying myself in a club last night. This really ugly girl came up to me , squeezed my arse and said, "Give me your phone number sexy." I said, " Have you got a pen. " She smiled and said, " Yes. " I said, " Well **** off back to it , before the farmer notices you're missing."