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Premier League Round Up (Sep 18-19 2021)

Lots to get through this week so let’s start with our neighbours, who are not a happy bunch after a spanking at Villa followed by a League Cup exit at QPR.

 

Asmir Begovic was in goal for the Blues as Pickford is injured. What happened to the Swedish fella Carlo Magnifico brought in to keep Prickford on his toes? Has he fucked off too like Carlo and “Hamez”?

 

Some Blues were crying about an injury crisis but from what I could see they were only missing Pickford (which is a good thing) as well as Richarlison and Calvert-Lewin. It’s not like they had to start a load of kids, the bad cryarses.  

 

Matty Cash put Villa in front with a brilliant goal to cap off a terrific move (questionable keeping though). Luca ‘better than Robbo’ Digne headed into his own net to make it 2-0 and Bailey added a third after a quality ball by Ings put him clear. Again, what the fuck was Begovic doing there though? The opposite of making himself big is what he was doing, the shrinking tit.

 

Everton had actually been unbeaten in their first four games but there was a thread on Grand Old Team entitled “Has Benitez taken us as far as he can?”. That was posted BEFORE they got spanked by Villa! The funny thing is, the answer to that is probably ‘yes’ because they were in the top four before this game and are unlikely to ever be scaling those heights again.

 

It’s easy to criticise Everton fans for their stance on Rafa, sorry, Rafael, but who the fuck are we to be telling them how they should feel about their manager? Because he is their manager. Some Reds seem to still see him as our manager and are protective of him, but he isn’t our manager. He’s the Everton manager and loads of them hate him. And you know what, they’re entitled to. 

 

He was our manager, he took the piss out of them, he made us European Champions which gave us the opportunity to rub their noses in it. They hated him. They’ve hated him for years and then out of nowhere the people that run their club went “here you go, we don’t care what you think. He’s your new manager, get behind him”. Some of them have, others just can’t find it within themselves to do it and I respect that.

 

I fucking despise Guardiola and if he became our manager after Klopp I’d struggle to overcome that. I’d try, but it wouldn’t take much for me to completely turn on him and want him gone. So after this week the honeymoon period, if there even was one, is well and truly over and you only have to look at some of the posts on Grand Old Team to see Rafa, sorry, Rafael, is on a sticky wicket over there.

 

Meanwhile, Norwich still have no points after getting dicked at home by Watford. Prior to this game you can justify them having no points as they’re fixture list has been brutal. Farke even said that they’re only three points down on the target they had set themselves at this stage, which tells you he expected to lose every game and then beat Watford. They didn’t beat Watford though because they’re shite.

 

Emanuel Dennis headed the opener when he nipped in front of Ozan Kabak, but Pukki equalised when he ran in behind and finished well. Sadio's boy Sarr should have restored Watford’s lead after a brilliant though ball by Danny Rose (remember him?) had sent him clear. Tim Krul made the save but Sarr should have buried that. I’m not convinced by him but I’m not not convinced either, if that makes sense.

 

He might actually be really good, I’m just not sure yet. He looked great in the second half and put Watford ahead with a neat finish at the near post. Then he put in a Trent-like ball from the right that should have been converted, before he wrapped up the win with a composed finish from a rebound. He's winning me over but as I say I'm not sold on him just yet.

 

That third goal initially looked like it wouldn’t count as the lino had flagged against Josh King, but VAR showed it was onside and the goal stood. That’s one where it looked clearly off from the lino’s perspective as King was leaning forward and the defender was leaning the opposite way. It was the defender’s foot that played him on so people will point to that as VAR working well.

 

My argument to counter that would be that it’s the kind of offside decision I could live with. I still hate VAR and always will.

 

Elsewhere, Brentford’s great start continued as they won at Wolves. They were awarded a penalty when a Wolves defender was wresting with Ivan Toney from a corner. Absolutely 100% the right decision but it’s quite rare that they are given and the Wolves player probably thought it’d be ok to do it. Hopefully refs start calling this more often because Virgil is held on pretty much every corner we get.

 

Toney stepped up and buried the pen and then had a second ruled out for handball. Really harsh, his arm is pinned to his side and the ball bounced up at him from close range. He then adjusted himself and scored with a back heel and I reckon that should have stood.

 

Traore almost broke the crossbar with a thunderous effort but then Toney broke away down the end and crossed for Mbuemo to tap in. 

 

Baptiste was then sent off for picking up a yellow card. Brentford were about to sub him too so the manager won’t have been best pleased. Mind you, he seems like the most laid back man in the world and I can’t see him getting angry about anything. Proper 60s hippie vibe about him.

 

Jiminez should have bagged his first goal since his comeback when he met Traore’s brilliant cross but couldn’t direct it goalwards. I want to see him scoring again but it’s quite conceivable he’s never going to be the same after what we went through. Heading is such a big part of his game but how could he ever be the same? He took off the protective head gear after that miss, but that’s not ideal is it? 

 

Toney is fucking ace and has pretty much assured himself of ‘my boy’ status already but I’m not going to rubber stamp it until after the week. Just a couple of i’s need dotting and a t or two needs crossing, but he’s essentially my boy now as he’s boss.

 

Arsenal won at Burnley in a result that nobody saw coming. This is the kind of game you’d expect Arsenal to wave the white flag in, but they stood up to the physical challenge and emerged victorious thanks to a solitary goal by Odegaard, who curled in a nice free kick from 20 yards.

 

Burnley were shite but they were briefly awarded a penalty when Anthony Taylor adjudged Ramsdale to have brought down Vydra. The keeper clearly played the ball and it didn’t need a replay to see it. Well, it wouldn’t have needed a replay if it had been anyone other than the hapless Taylor. He got it right in the end though, even if Dyche predictably didn't agree.

 

If Burnley can’t beat a soft touch like Arsenal then I think they’re in trouble. Their fans were obviously irritated by that and decided to show the players how it’s done by roughing up the Arsenal fans at full time. That didn’t work either as the Arsenal fans gave as good as they got. If Burnley can’t win the physical battle they don’t really have anything else going for them really. That goes for players and fans.

 

City were held 0-0 at home by Southampton just days after Guardiola complained that not enough fans were coming to watch them despite them offering great entertainment. Sod’s law that. This is the kind of game they’d usually win 5-0 but when you run your mouth like that it can often bite you in the arse.

 

They were shite and didn’t have a shot on target until stoppage time. This is because, like I keep saying, they’re good but not great. The hype over City doesn’t match who they are. When they win they’ll often win by a cricket score, but they won’t win every week the way they did three years ago.

 

They were lucky they didn’t lose this as they needed a VAR review to overturn a penalty and red card for Walker. Firstly, it was defo not a red card. Secondly, I don’t think it’s a penalty either, because the striker is already going down needlessly. That’s really subjective though and half the time that will be given.

 

Martin Atkinson the VAR suggested Jon Moss have another look though, which he did and he overturned his decision. I’m fine with that, it’s what VAR should be used for and I’m happy for Moss to have the opportunity to review it to make sure he’s happy with his decision.

 

What VAR giveth it also taketh away. City thought they’d won the game in stoppage time through Sterling but the lino flagged and VAR showed it was the right call. If Sterling had left it to Foden the goal would have stood, which just makes it all the more funny. Fuck Man City.

 

Leeds and Newcastle played out a highly entertaining 1-1 draw at St James' Park. Raphinha put Leeds in front with a cross that was cleverly dummied by Rodrigo to leave the keeper flatfooted. Quality by the striker that.

 

Newcastle should have levelled when the turbo charged Saint-Maximin blew by the full back down the right and cut it back, but useless lower league journeyman Jo Elinton couldn’t finish. Saint-Maximin took matters into his own hands next time to dance around four challenges in the box and fire in the equaliser. 

 

He’s one of my favourite players to watch as he’s exciting as fuck. He almost won it late on but his shot was too close to the keeper.

 

The Geordie crowd are revolting. They’re also in revolt. Kicking off about Ashley and Bruce like they’ve got some divine right to be a top six team is one thing, but them desperately wanting to suck Saudi cock and crying about why they’re not being allowed to is something else.

 

They’re the fucking worst aren’t they? Imagine them if they had owners like City. It doesn’t bear thinking about. As much as I despise City these days, the fans are way down the list of reasons why. They’re not bad all things considered. Imagine Newcastle or Everton in that situation. Fucking hell, they'd be insufferable.

 

Onto Sunday now and Brighton somehow beat Leicester despite getting fucking mullered for the entire second half. Big assist to the officials on this one though, who thoroughly shafted Brendan's boys.

 

Maupay scored from the spot after Vestergaard had been penalised for handling. The big defender was clearly being fouled and that’s why his arm was in an unnatural position, but VAR upheld the decision and Brighton went ahead. Baffling how they missed that.

 

Danny Welcrap headed in a second but Vardy pulled one back with a close range finish from a nice move. Leicester were pushing hard for an equaliser and thought they had it when Lookman fired home, but Barnes was stood in front of the keeper in an offside position. Then Ndidi scored and that too was disallowed because Barnes was offside in front of the keeper. Hilarious! Can't stand that diving little fuck. That second one should have counted though really, that was a fucking terrible call.

 

The wheels have come off Spurs these last couple of weeks. Getting spanked at Palace and following it up by being utterly humiliated at home by Chelsea. Tuchel’s side were so superior to Spurs it was embarrassing, especially in the second half.

 

Thiago Silva headed the opener, Kante’s deflected effort doubled their lead and Rudiger wrapped it up late on. They had at least five other great chances too though and Alonso could have had a second half hat-trick just on his own.

 

He is no longer taking the knee because he feels the gesture “is losing strength”. Instead he’ll stand and point to the anti-racism badge on his sleeve. Yeah because that’s a much stronger gesture. Not really sure it's his place to be deciding what is and isn't an effective gesture like, but whatever.

 

Spurs were awful though, they shit all over the memory of Jimmy Greaves by not giving him a fitting send off. Although I suppose going the full Spurs is a fitting tribute to Greavesie as he’d seen that from them his entire life. RIP though, I liked him a lot.

 

Harry Kane played mostly on the left wing. What’s going on there? Is Nuno punishing him or is he just trying to be too clever? No league goals for him so far this season but he did score in the League Cup win at Wolves in midweek. Maybe when he eventually accepts his fate and realises he’s stuck at Spurs for the rest of his life he’ll start to look something like his old self.

 

Finally, the Mancs won at West Ham but they owe their former manager a big thank you. This should have been a draw before ‘The Chosen One’ intervened. What a fucking plonker. First time he's contributed to a positive United result since he was Everton manager.

 

I don’t watch United games but for some reason I stuck the closing stages of this one on just to see what happened. Almost immediately Lingard scored, which served me right. I thought United should have been awarded a penalty when Ronaldo went down in the box. Sure, he played for it, but those are given almost every time. A couple of minutes later it was a pen at the other end when Shaw handled. That was going to be the last kick of the game, but Moyes decides to send Mark Noble on to take it.

 

You just don’t fucking do that. It puts way too much pressure on the taker who isn’t warmed up and is expected to just immediately switch on and be able to convert a high pressure kick. You just don’t fucking do it, but that soft cunt sent Noble on and his kick was predictably saved. That’s why you’re a loser Moyes, and always fucking will be.

 

I’m fuming about that as its two points United shouldn’t have. I’m sick of them getting results despite clearly not being that good. You only have to see them in Europe to see their true level, but they keep spawning these results away from home in the league because of slapdicks like Moyes.

 


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Ivan Toney’s career is fucked now he has ‘my boy’ status.

 

Alonso is a wanker, as evidenced by him smashing his car at into a wall at speed while over the drink drive limit and killing his passenger.

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I want to see him scoring again but it’s quite conceivable he’s never going to be the same after what WE went through .

 

Didn't know you had a head injury before Dave ???  Did you head the crossbar instead of the ball or something funnier knowing you ?

I'm sure you'll enlighten us.......

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1 hour ago, dylstar said:

I want to see him scoring again but it’s quite conceivable he’s never going to be the same after what WE went through .

 

Didn't know you had a head injury before Dave ???  Did you head the crossbar instead of the ball or something funnier knowing you ?

I'm sure you'll enlighten us.......

 

Yeah I can enlighten you. I'm fucking terrible when it comes to typos.

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