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I fucking hate that ginger gobshite. His comments after the match were a discgrace, trawling up Heysel to justify why they haven't played a European match after Christmas in decades. Classless bitter cunt. I am fucking livid. The sooner they fuck off to Kirkby the better. Sorry for the profanity. That is all.:wallbutt: :wallbutt:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7120482.stm These are not the 'roids you are looking for.

If yes, please tell. I don't have a name for mine, but I'm considering giving him one just to make our relationship even better. It would have to be a name with respect though, I don't want to offend the little fella. Maybe I'll make a poll to decide his new name if there are some good suggestions.

Has been sent down at Preston Crown Court for 15 months for 'feeling a man's muscles without permission' Wouldn't fancy sharing that cell!

Rash a-ah Savior of the Universe Rash a-ah He'll save every one of us (Seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactical upsets) (Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha) (What's happening Rash?) (Only Doctor Hans Zarkhov, formerly at NASA, has provided any explanation) Rash a-ah He's a miracle (This morning's unprecedented solar eclipse is no cause for alarm) Rash a-ah King of the impossible He's for every one of us Stand for every one of us He save with a mighty hand Every man, every woman Every child, with a mighty Rash (General Kala, Rash approaching.) (What do you mean Rash approaching? Open fire! All weapons! Dispatch war rocket Ajax to bring back his body) Rash a-ah (Rash is alive!) Rash a-ah He'll save every one of us Just a man With a man's courage You know he's Nothing but a man And he can never fail No one but the pure at heart May find the Golden Grail ...Oh..Oh........Oh..Oh ................ (Rash, Rash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!) Rash!!!)

Has me in genuine stitches at times, his blasé attitude to posting and the fact he doesn't get/give a shit about what the older heads say to him. You could compile a best-seller from some of his insights I swear you could. Chin up son!

.. making dinner, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ye." "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ye, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..." "Sure and I must, Brenda. Your husband Seamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Brenda reached a hand out to her side, found the arm of the rocking chair by the fireplace, pulled the chair to her and collapsed into it. She wept for many minutes. Finally she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guineas Stout and drowned." "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, no Brenda......no." "No?" "In fact , he got out three times for a piss."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tees/7063366.stm Man jailed for urinating on woman Anthony Anderson was filmed urinating (pic North News) A man who urinated on a woman as she lay dying and shouted "this is YouTube material" has been sentenced to three years in prison. Anthony Anderson also covered Christine Lakinski with shaving foam after she collapsed in a Hartlepool street. The 50-year-old, who suffered from a number of medical conditions, was later pronounced dead at the scene. Anderson, 27, and from Raby Road in the Teesside town, had earlier admitted outraging public decency. The court heard how, on 27 July, Miss Lakinski was making her way home with a box of laminate flooring when she fell ill and stumbled into a doorway. Totally shocked Anderson, a former soldier, had smoked a cannabis joint and been drinking when he and two friends spotted her. He tried to rouse her by throwing a bucket of water over her, before urinating on her and covering her with shaving foam. A crowd had gathered around, watching and laughing, and the incident was filmed on a mobile phone. She was later declared dead at the scene, the cause of death being given as pancreatic failure. Christine Lakinski had "a difficult life" (pic North News) Magistrates in Hartlepool had referred the case to Teesside Crown Court so a longer jail term could be handed out. Judge Peter Fox, the recorder of Middlesbrough sitting at Teesside Crown Court, said: "You violated this woman in an incredible way, and the shocking nature of your acts over a prolonged period of time must mean that a prison sentence of greater length is appropriate in this case." Outside court, Miss Lakinski's family said in a statement: "We remain totally shocked that anyone could behave in such an appalling way. "The fact that Christine was dying makes this man's actions even more sick and inhumane. "However, those who stood by and did nothing to stop Anderson are also guilty in our eyes. "It beggars belief that these people chose not only to condone his cruelty, but also to walk away from a neighbour who was clearly in distress and needed help." The family statement added that Christine had "faced immense challenges throughout her life", yet still had managed to "forge an independent life for herself". What the fuck?!

.. and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes. "I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man. "O.K." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!" A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip. Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid. "Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen. "Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that squid!" The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringes back and gives a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling. "Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show. That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. With mild green, hairy lip squid!"

has anyone ever had a go, experimented or used full time? any stories/advice appreciated.

I think he should go to Leicester. They're setting up a good team and who want to live in Cardiff?

Following on from Ezekials ace thread, I thought I'd ask what scared you as a child. At first I was scared of Monsters until my dad put a sign on the door saying Go Away Monsters & I made sure the door was shut. Then I had a nightmare about wild horses trampling me to death so that did it for a while. but after watching too much Crimewatch and Murder she wrote, Murderers scared me. No one could tell they didn't exist. Combined with a man who lived near me picking me up by the throat (for an A team style crime I didn't commit). Terrified the bejesus out of me that did for a few years

Saw this in an old football book and it raised a smile... Before a first round FA Cup Tie against Everton late in 1881, Bootle discovered that they only had eight players. Three spectators were asked to play and Bootle won the tie. Unfortunately it doesn't give the score.

I can dress myself I voted in the last election I'm pulling in a 5 figure salary I've supported *place football team name here* my whole life (emphasis on the word whole)

Well?

Wish he'd simmer down, he shouts like Hitler. Can't wait till I go back to work, daytime TV must have been engineered to keep people off the dole...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/6403227.stm So. Mr Ferguson. Explain how you have a better chance of winning if we knock Barcelona out?

I know they're still on sale for limited views, but this is for a proper view in the Main Stand, and why take the risk, they could still sell out! One of the lads has been off work for a year with a broken leg (self employed builder...nasty break) and is skint. Apparently, when he said, "Get us a ticket for the Arsenal cup game!" so he could make his long awaited return, he meant the FA Cup! So now he wants to save up for January instead! Cost price of course...£30. Any takers PM me......ta

There seems to have been a lot of lunacy on the forum recently and a lot of agression and hate. So I thought I'd bring some love into TLW and balance it all out. Who is your favourite poster and why? This is the poster you look for in a thread, you pay attention to more than others, makes you laugh, think etc. They may not always say the right things or be spot on but who is the poster you look out for? Mine are as follows: AlonsosWig - Seems like a genuine spot on bloke and his posts always make me smile. AlonsosWig seems the sort of lad you knew in school but never spoke to much, but when you left you always see him in the pub and is a right laugh. Stu Monty - We seem to have the same fucked up sense of humour and same interest in comedy programmes. Although we do clash on some ploitical debates (which is healthy) but his post do make me chuckle and he's not one of these posters who posts for the hell of it. You can always he puts effort in. Paul - I always pay attention to his POV on the FF and always brings a bit of optimism to a doom and gloom situation i.e when we get drummed by the blueshite. He is clearly a genius who is far above us intelectually and I like the way he lowers himself to get involved in our plebian debates! He is down with the kids. So go on ladies and gentleme, its Christmas, let a bit of love into the room and tell that special poster how much you care about them.

I reckon McDonald's milkshakes are the single most unhealthy thing you can drink, what about to eat? Can anyone raise me on a deep fried Mars bar?

At last the final is upon us and a new winner shall emerge. Behold the 5 contenders, who will all fight at once, in the cold room in a sandwich shop in Canvey island. There can only be 1 winner - who shall emerge victoriuos?

"But I don't think I will stay at Liverpool. "I will ask for a transfer because I still have three years remaining on my contract and I don't want to be loaned any more. You dont really need to ask Anthony

I was once nearly run over by Louise Redknapp near the multi-story carpark in town, she smiled at me apologetically, and to be honest, I think she wanted a slice of the big mans pie. Not a direct claim to fame, but my auntie met Mr T when he was in panto at the Empire theatre back in 1990 (saw it and it was ace) anyway, she got me his autograph but then managed to insult him, he'd come into the cafe where she worked for his dinner, and she noticed he had a gold knife and fork on one of his chains, she made a passing comment about how he should use them to eat his dinner, and he lost his rag big time. Love her as I did (she wasn’t a proper auntie mind you, just a very close family friend for decades style auntie) I would have been in stitches if he’d thrown her through the window in slow motion, I reckon the responding emergency services would have been equally impressed also. "I come in here, to your fine establishment, and you dissrespect my gold, you best get that look of your face too, before i knock it off" I also went to school with ‘Leo’ from Brookside, Mick Johnson’s son apparently I challenge anyone to beat these claims to fame.

Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyon says three players will leave in the summer - but they will not include Shaun Wright-Phillips or Didier Drogba. The Blues, who retained the Premiership title on Saturday, will make three new signings and Bayern Munich midfielder Michael Ballack is a transfer target. Kenyon told BBC Radio Five Live: "It will be three in and three out. "One of those is clearly Michael Ballack and we hope we can get that done before the World Cup." Bayern director Karl-Heinz Rummenigge thinks Chelsea's move for Ballack, 29, is "set in stone". And if the German international does move to Stamford Bridge, Kenyon says he will not be the only new face. Kenyon added on Five Live's Sportsweek programme: "There is a constant process of improving the team. "We have got a 24-man squad and that is what we want to maintain. We think that is right for the competitions we are in. It is right from a rotation point of view. "We can improve, we need to improve and we will improve but we are talking about improving what is already a fantastic squad - it is not easy. "I am convinced that the players we will bring in for next season will move us on as a team. The ambition at this club from everybody - the board, the owner and the manager - is to do well domestically but also to win the Champions League." Kenyon also rubbished reports that Mourinho would leave Chelsea, despite securing the club's second successive League title. Mourinho said on Saturday: "A couple of times, I thought about closing the door and saying goodbye." But Kenyon explained: "He wasn't close to leaving at all. "He is a very emotional guy. What he was saying is he had some thoughts. "He is someone where things happen and then everybody moves on - and that is what happened. It was never in question, it was never serious. "He is going to be here next year and I think he is going to be here for many years to come. "He knows what we want to achieve and he has got the resources here and the support here to do it. We are all 200% behind him. "There is no question he thinks he has finished the job he came here to do - and we don't think that. He is young, he has got many years ahead of him, he's got a great future and what better place for him to be. "When you look at it in the cold light of day, why would you move somewhere else? There is plenty of time for him to consider other parts of his career a long way down the track. "He is proud of what we are doing here and what he is doing . "Sometimes I think he cannot understand why we don't get the credit and he does not get the credit he thinks we deserve. I have to say I fully support him in that. "To win the Premier League is fantastic but to win it in back-to-back seasons is historical. Only one other team has done it since the Premier League started - Manchester United - the team we beat convincingly and with style on Saturday. "

http://home.skysports.com/list.asp?hlid=381658&CPID=8&clid=6&lid=2&title=Jol+hits+back+at+Wenger got to love martin jol,how funny would it of been if he would of just head butted wenger :yes: