chauncey

Jonathan "Arse Tampon" Wilkes almost kissing the Umbro badge there.

Gay as a window, that one. The forced laughter from him and Fat Sam whenever Al Murray does his 'ironic' 'comedy' is excruciating. Surely ITV has broken its record for cunts/minute tonight. From a channel with X-Factor AND Britain's Got Talent that's going some. Almost makes me want save up, fly out to Africa and kill the poor cunts with my bare hands.

So Purslow and pals have shown that the Fourth Estate still has much sway in footballing matters, but actions speak louder than journalese. We are told Benitez's exit will ease the lack of stability at the club, the boat rocking and shit slinging which puts off buyers. I'm sure the extortionate asking price might also have a little to do with it. Pulling the wool (sic) over Henry Winter's Home Counties cunts and the Bascombe moutbreathership is easy, making them believe 'SACK RAFFA!!!11!one!1' is the cure to the club's ills is easy, proving himself to be a man of his word is going to be tough. No way is the Echo realistically able to criticise the M.D. yet it also chooses to not even report criticism either (no mention of the anti-Purslow feeling at the flag burning protest.) I hope they're paying attention on the fourth.

If and when we complete our descent through the league(s) will Chrissy's EXCLUSIVES be as highly sought after as when he quit the Echo? His career has peaked methinks... and at the News Of The World. His bezzies at the club are not going to be around forever - with this crusade Bascombe's will be proven to have shat on his own doorstep.

Sources close to a furious Ince reveal he has been snubbed due to his inherent blackness.

I reckon Kenny would have more sense than to take it. Besides, his relationships with the 'power players' and 'sources' at the club might just take things to the opposing end of the Rafa scale. In no way an Evans lack of respect but a... familiarity. And that's before you throw in the inevitable legacy-pissing. Can't see it happening. For what we need in the short term the ideal man for the job would be a low budget motivator with European experience, ideally young and British: if he was managing Newcastle or Villa and getting the same results then the screaming skull from across the park would be top of my list. In reality I'd go for Hodgson.

I'm content being skint and principled, but thanks for the offer.

If you're referring to the AIDS thing - it's not Basco's fault he's dying of a shameful lifestyle choice. He needed the money.

It's true what they say: never meet your heroes :(

Nice one. Ordinarily I wouldn't follow this guy off a burning oil rig, but couldn't bear missing out on such nuggets as 'Favoured DVD viewing of many England lads is The Wire (great choice). Box sets are packed. Reckon Fabio more of a Sopranos man myself.' How can a writer make it to a national without knowing the distinction between 'less' and 'fewer'? Oh... Must admit I don't really take pleasure from slagging the guy off as, genuinely, I used to enjoy his Echo match reports - but I was only a kid then. Put it down to the naivety of youth (often I'd be swigging off a bottle of Orange Lucozade and piss in my own mouth by mistake ffs!). That, and his style of stock phrases and crowbarred topical 'wit' has long since worn thin. I remember listening to him as summariser on Radio Merseyside growing up - he was insightful and knowledgeable... if you could get past that midget-on-helium-with-its-balls-trapped-a-vice nasal whine. Sometimes the commentary would cut out but if you checked the next room and the dog was having a seizure and shitting everywhere you knew it was just Chris talking. Also, when did he get The AIDS? I remember him being much fatter and fanny-headed. That profile picture is shocking: a recovering Belsen freak with a nose that's been stamped on by an elephant. Like I say, I don't take much pleasure from it.

I literally saw Redknapp literally talking bollocks on SSN earlier. I mean, bollocks were literally popping out of his mouth. Literally.

The one I really feel for is Montse. She'll be driven to distraction by him sitting round the house all day, rubbing his hands.

Woman banker claims she was sacked for being too attractive - Telegraph MOAR: Debrahlee Lorenzana: Too Sexy for Bank?*Pictures - CBS News

Why can't our captain behave like this?

*deep breath* Eh? What does this even mean? Rafa's fault, clearly. All those tinnied houses would be gone if only he'd have played Stevie in his preferred position. Ok, an analogy. Let's see where you're going with this... A loaf of bread made up of two sections?!?! Fucking hell, even one of those rip-off loaves from Sayers give you at least twenty slices. Again, what does this even mean? "Give them the beating of their lives, Smithers." Funny how people have started coming out with this particular line since Benitez's exit becomes ever more tangible. Remember all those anti-owners discussions where little twats would impose their anti-Rafa agenda in attempts to derail the discussion? That was you, that was. For whatever ends, the manager fought like a bastard against the owners and their appointments. Do you honestly think the current owners will choose to employ someone who is going to rock the boat in a similar fashion? There is no cure for cancer. You lost me at 'implore'. I'd suggest a thesaurus. I hear Henry Winter has a few going spare. When Liverpool Football Club is falling through the leagues will you still be remembering his achievements? Will you even spare a thought for Liverpool Football Club? Hey, that's your opinion and that's sound. A managerless club is what the Rafa-out brigade have been striving for. Excellent work, Agent Purslow. Stage Two: So, er, who's going to save the club then? The fans? Broughton won't give us the time of day. And wasn't that supposedly Purslow's initial brief anyway? Agreed. You do realise that is going to be a lot more difficult when the owners put in place a mouthpiece who is going to appease the players and toe the line with the media? A fuck of a lot more difficult. I admire your spirit and would like to join you but the whole 'let's-get-rid-of-the-nasty-owners' schtick is hard to take seriously from people who have until now viewed manager removal as priority number one. Ignoring - through ignorance, agenda or herd mentality - the REAL problems at the club.

Sorry to piss on your chips but I think he's been married for years. :no

If any, or all, of Gerrard, Torres, Masherano or Benayoun do leave in the summer it will make an absolute mockery of everything Maddock/Winter/Bascombe et al. have been regurgitating from Purslow. There'll be a few on here with red faces too.

Haha. Yeah, me too. Those goalposts shift quicker than a Cumbrian caught in the crosshairs.

*rubs hands together*

I dunno man - if you leave it a couple of days, and get the trajectory right...

Gallows humour.

A bit of both, I think. Purslow was brought in to find new investment and failed; Rafa guaranteed fourth and failed. Rafa's been accused (rightly so) of using the ownership debacle to cover his failings and this is precisely what our slimy M.D. has been doing through his hounding of the manager. Rafa saw off Parry but his successor is too slick an operator. Crucially, Benitez made too many mistakes in his job to get away with the politicking this time. I will always maintain he deserved another season.

Probably a lot to do with the worryingly high oestrogen levels. And don't even get me started on the women.

If 'player power' had as much to do with Rafa's dismissal as Purslow and Gerrard are telling Maddock, surely whoever comes in next will have to be a yes-man? As already discussed ad nauseum: we're not an attractive proposition to the elite coaches, and most are already employed anyway. Pellegrini would certainly be good for the owners/powerful players in that he's used to being neutered. A greasy Roy Evans, if you will. This leaves yet another power vacuum, but this one's on the already disastrous playing side. Also, those who've been saying for the last few months "It's sound - we'll get Mourinho" will get a rude fucking awakening.

Gerrard, Purslow, Broughton, Cancer + AIDS; the cunts have finally taken over the asylum. Wouldn't be surprised to see Purslag replace him as player-manager.