Harry Squatter

small pitch means we could play with 10, if anyone can play let us know as soon as. We have 4 at the moment I think?

Wouldn't Speke be a viable option?. By the airport, motorway, Liverpool South Parkway/Hunts Cross, there's a lot of open spaces/land that is underused, only problem being the retail park.

How many have we got so far then? - are Emilio, Seraf & his mates playing?, McLids?, John Gallagher? BDD?, Paul?. We can live with 7 a side, 6 might be a bit of a struggle but we've done it before

I'm playing - btw it wasn't my fault, it was my lovely missus who took the car and mysteriously "forgot" I was playing footy

Guy i sit next to went to Cardiff for the day to interview someone, work were to stingy to pay for an open return train ticket so he travelled at 11 am to get there for the afternoon. The guy he interviewed withdrew his claim so the interview lasted about 5 minutes. As he had an off peak train ticket he couldnt leave until 7pm so spent the entire day getting shitfaced in the nice weather. He had a nice lie in, 5 minutes work, a day on the ale in cardiff and claimed his travel time as flexitime which equalled one full day off.

I'm playing

1. Grazy 2. Mark 3. Rob

Cont'd Apart from Aldrige'd goal the whole game was completely forgettable apart from Pat Van Den Hauwe dragging one of their bellend fans off. Felt a bit cheated that the game was a bit of an anti climax but after they equalised the game exploded into life and was very nerve wracking. Unfortunately the only goal I got a decent view of was MCall's second as by this time me and my brother were sitting on the greyhound track behind the goal. Due to loads of pitch invasions mainly by them there was no lap of honour so we left, straight away me and my brother bumped into my Dad who informed us that he had sneaked in after the gates had been opened on 90 minutes and seen the entire extra time, plus some bird who took her top off when Rush scored his header! Just about got back on the coach as it was pulling out of the car park, our coach driver managed to get us home for 9 despite a tyre blowout by Birmingham. Couldn't wait to go into school on the Monday and tell everyone about it.

1989. Obviously everyone knows the events leading up to the final. My Dad had got us 3 tickets for the semi final but gave them back at the last moment as we were going on holiday the next week. They were for the Leppings Lane end as well but the people he gave them to came home. We went to the ground to see the display of flowers on the pitch went to the Catholic Cathedral for a memorial service, I can remember standing on the steps with thousands of people all silent outside listening to the mass on a warm spring evening. The day after we had our first family holiday to Italy, something I should have been really hyped up for but I was a bit indifferent to it after the events of the past week. I can remember watching the Everton V Liverpool game as it was live on Italian TV, it was on the same night Napoli were playing Stuttgart in the UEFA Cup, I was surprised that our game took equal billing on Italian TV as I thought that Italians would have hated us after 1985. Two days after we got home my Dad arrived home from work with 2 Cup Final tickets, straight away me and my brother (I was 14 and he was 9) bagsied them, leving my other brother to watch it at home. Got the coach there and ours was a strictly red coach, there were hardly any songs on the way down until we pulled up alongside an Everton coach on teh M6 who all decided to show their arses at us, we then started singing lots of songs and all got hyped up about the game. Got goosebumps on the way up

dickiemint, i've texted a few of the others who were there that night and they confirmed that it was nearer 10.37 than 10.30.

I worked in a department that was responsible for paying interpreters, their tightness was unbelievable seeing as they were getting paid shitloads for only a few hours work. One interpreter rang the office screaming and panicking from James street station, I thought that there was something seriously wrong with her but all that had happened was she had stapled her single train ticket to Hoylake (about £1.70) to her claim form by accident and wanted us to root it out and come over the road to the station to hand it to her. I said "why not just buy another ticket?" she then moaned and said she wouldn't get reimbursed for it and slammed the phone down on me. She even complained about my attitude to my manager! Three of them would ring up over their tax and one said "Mr xx has paid £436 tax this month yet I've paid £474, why is this?, I demand an explanation". This would happen on the same day every month.

I posted this in a "cunt behaviour" thread. Two people were leaving our work last year, a man and a woman. The woman came up with the idea of having a leaving party as she had worked there 30 years and knew virtually everyone. The other guy had worked there about 10 years but kept himself to himself. The woman asked him if he would stump up some cash for the food at the leaving party but he point blank refused saying he didn't like being put on the spot. The night of the party I turn up and went to pay for a drink and she said "it's ok, I've put some money behind the bar, it's free until 10.30". I said "Did Tony put any money behind the bar?" and she said he didn't. However, he'd got there at 6 on the dot and had helped himself to about 10 pints of Stella and was well on the way to being twatted. He was bragging about how brilliant the cruise that him and his wife had booked was going to be and that it cost £2500. As soon as 10.30 came he was out the door quicker than Usain Bolt saying he had to get the last train. Very convenient seeing as the free bar finished at 10.30 and the last train was actually at 11.45. He left the poor woman to foot the entire bill which was about £600 in the end.

Some lad in our work was a pain in the arse about money, he wasn’t tight as described above, but he was terrible with money and always borrowing off people without any shame, he’d also go to extreme lengths to avoid paying people back but always protest his innocence to make you feel like you were out of order asking for your money back. On payday he’d go out on the lash and buy loads of people drinks but by the 10th of every month he’d literally have no money to last him to the next payday, even buying bus fare and dinners became out of reach for him so he’d always be looking to borrow money. He was due to come on my stag do but cancelled 2 days before saying he had just moved into a flat and couldn’t afford it. It took me from May to October to get the flight & hotel money back after I constantly threatened him. I later found out he’d borrowed money off another lad to pay me back and he never got the money back off him. My mate lent him £100 when they were working together in Leeds but it took 6 months to get the cash back off him, he used every stalling tactic possible – his cashcard allegedly got nicked twice, his mobile phone got robbed so you couldn’t ring him, when he got a new one it was broken, when it was fixed he’d mysteriously change his number. He was always unfortunate getting mugged as well. He made up some blag about his e-mails in work not working properly, oh and his desk phone was damaged – phoning the engineer or moving desks never crossed his mind. My mate finally collared him when he saw him out in a pub and marched him to cashpoint to get the money off him. Another time he was working away he had wasted all his cash, he was that desperate for money that the hotel receptionist bet him £20 to run across the car park naked. He did but then probably spent it all on ale. He’d lent £500 off a fella in work after making up some blag story that he needed to pay his rent after his bird left him (she had but she had paid up before moving out). Two weeks later he announced that he was leaving Liverpool and moving to Jersey but then went off sick until his last day and didn’t come into say goodbye. The fella who he lent money off was gunning for him as he’d also robbed a kitty from the footy lads he played with (another £230). All attempts to phone him were futile and he asked all his other mates in work where he was and how to contact him. Anyway this fella managed to find out what flight he was on to Jersey so turned up at JLA. He said his face dropped when he saw him and he made a massive fool of him in front of everyone at the check in desk grabbing him by the throat and threatening him. He started crying saying he never had the dough and would pay him back. The guy just told him to keep the money and never come back as he’d burnt all his bridges with everyone in work. He didn’t want to fill him in with about 1600 witnesses there.

This thread got me thinking about some lad I used to hang around with who was a bad mingebag and pisstaker. He had been a “struggling musician” until he was 30 and had never got a job since he had left school. He’d always cry poverty as his Mum had kicked him out and I stupidly felt sorry for him saying I’d sort him out with a few pints to get him out as he said he was always staying between his mum’s house and one of his mates in between being kicked out again. One time we went out and I spent £50 and he said “don’t worry, once I sort myself out I’ll do this for you”. He was that cheeky he kept asking if we could go to a lapdancing bar in town and expected me to pay and had a face on when I said no even though I’d sorted him with a load of ale. I wouldn’t mind but I wasn’t exactly rich myself at that time. One time we arranged to go out in Crosby and I had bought him a pint then looked at him to buy me one and he just said “I’ve got no money”. This annoyed me because he never said that he was coming out without any cash so in effect he was expecting me to pay for his night out without telling me about it beforehand. I just said “I don’t get paid until next week so I’ll have to go home after this next one, I’m skint myself” he looked at me with utter disgust but didn’t have the brass neck to slag me off for going home, ruining his complimentary night out that I wasn’t aware I was financing. I was pissed off because he tried to make me feel guilty that I wouldn’t buy his drinks all night. After he went home I just went to another pub and met my other mates, telling them about him. About 2 months later I decided to give this lad one more chance but asked my other mates to come out with me so I didn’t get cornered on my own again. This lad went out with his 2 brothers and they stayed in a round together and were buying each other drinks faster than me and my mates yet he never once offered to buy me a drink despite me sorting him out with loads previously. I was in a proper rage as he was so blatant about it, drinking faster than the rest and going the bar and getting his cash out like he was Robert De Niro in Goodfellas. He had his wallet open on the bar and had at least £80 in there, I just walked up, grabbed it, took £40 out of it and said “Nice one, this will pay a bit back for the last time we were out together, you’ve obviously sorted yourself out now”. He didn’t even say anything to me or try to get his wallet back off me, his brothers never got involved either and I just got off. I bumped into him about 18 months later as I hadn’t even spoken to him since, he didn’t even mention the incident or why we hadn’t bothered contacting each other in this time. He asked me to see his new flat, as I was about 2 minutes away from it I reluctantly agreed. He had part converted into a music studio and had bought a cheapo car to get himself to his gigs. He said “it’s hard keeping a flat going on your own you know”. I said “Yeah, you must have to do loads of gigs to keep this going” to which he replied “No, I do the gigs cash in hand, the Social pay for all of this” without any shame at all. I really, really wanted to grass him up, I was working full time and couldn’t afford to move out of my ma’s yet he was blatantly taking the piss claiming for everything and earning a couple of hundred a month on the side AND was probably still being a mingebag, he even asked me if I was free on the Saturday to help him move his speakers to a pub he was playing at in Maghull!. However, I’m not a grass and always thought someone else would blow him up. Someone did a few years later and he ended up having to train as a chef which he blamed for ruining his music “career”. He also hardly paid any child maintenance to his ex for his son and I think he’s only just started seeing him recently now he’s 15 and he’s into music, he never mentioned him when I used to go out with him. His alleged career basically involved playing cover songs like Mustang Sally & Brown Eyed Girl in pub bands in Crosby & Waterloo yet he was that deluded he thought he was going to move to LA and get a recording contract despite never being able to write his own songs or play in a decent band. He takes himself dead serious citing Robert Plant and Steve Winwood as his “influences” My mate saw him play in a band on Friday night in Waterloo so I guess he’s as close to his LA recording contract as he was when he was 16.

When I worked away in Cambridge there were about 7 of us all from Liverpool living down there so we would more often than not socialise. There was one woman from Southport with us who never bought one round in the entire time we were there and would always turn up like a bad smell, even if she wasn’t invited. First week we were there she got me to buy a treble vodka and had it for 2 hours, I went the bar every 30 minutes for my own drink while she was sitting there yet she never offered to buy me one back. People got wise to her after she would cadge double vodkas or large white wines off them in similar circumstances. We were in some pub and we sitting on a balcony in blazing sunshine and everyone was downing drinks, I told the rest of them to time how long it would take to see if she bought a drink, we timed her and it took her 25 minutes to drink half a glass of white wine before it was her round. She then sat there for the rest of the night without getting up to go the bar. Everyone just got up and bought 2/3 pints each and left her out – she then went the bar and got her own with a massive face on. After this we'd all go out and leave her standing on her own whilst we got a round in, you could tell she was annoyed that we ignored her but never had any cheek to moan about it. She would just sit there with the same drink all night even if it was a shot of Vodka. One time we all went to Ely for a meal and she phoned this fella in our group asking if we could hang on 20 minutes as she had finished the late shift, we all hung on for her but she even went back to the hotel miles away first to get ready before turning up an hour later. When she turned up she didn’t like anything on the menu and said she was just going to get a takeaway – so we were all Hank Marvin waiting and she just decides she’ll get Chicken Fried Rice from the chippy. I was fuming and told her that she was taking the piss out of us but she just stormed off and went back to the hotel while I ate my Haddock & Chips at 10.30 pm. Another time all of us went out for a curry and I specifically said “don’t invite her and don’t tell her where we’re going” but one of the others who felt sorry for her was weak and betrayed us. She turns up late (again), doesn’t drink and only has a main yet moaned when we split the bill 7 ways, saying she was only putting in £10, I pointed out that she got £30 expenses every day so why was she moaning. Also you would have to submit a receipt to claim your money back yet she wanted to claim her full £30 whilst getting a copy of the bill but only putting in a tenner!. She believed that it was the principle of her only ordering one meal while loads of us had drunk a few pints of Cobra and she had had one coke, I shamed her and said in a packed curry house “yes but you’ll get the full amount back, we aren’t here to make you money” Eventually she caved in but had a sulk on for the rest of the night before disappearing back to the hotel. I got accused of being a bully by trying to exclude her from the rest of us but I just said I hadn’t had a problem with her as long as she doesn’t take the piss out of us. She lived with her brother in Southport and both their parents were dead, they owned a massive house there which was worth at least £450K which was paid off and she drove a battered old Nissan Micra that looked like it couldn’t travel ten miles, let alone the distance between Southport and Cambridge. We used to clean up on the petrol claims and everything was paid for while we were down there but she still wanted to be a mingebag even with her expenses. I’d dread being stuck in the same hotel as her as she could never take a hint that she was disliked or not wanted. She bought our boss a bottle of vodka and some chocolates for his birthday and claimed the chocolates back on expenses, she forgot that he had to check the receipts before they could be authorised - he was shaking his head for about 2 hours bewildered at her stinginess.

The press conferences are going to be hilarious, plus if something fucks up he'll try and blame one of the players publicly. Wonder what his tactics will be when England are losing 2-0 to France with 30 minutes to go? Hasn't he also got to go to Norway for a friendly?. I'm sure members of their press will love him after his outburst saying "that's another country i'd never work in"

Lad my brother knew would always go to poker nights at various friends houses, he wouldn't bet even when they played until 4am. He'd just sit on the sofa and smoke ciggies. Bit weird not bothering to bet when going to a gathering where people play cards all night but it was a cheap night out for him because he would scrounge 2 ciggies off each person present which was normally ten people, so he'd smoke a whole pack of ciggies for nothing. He'd never bring his own beer and if he did he'd buy the cheapest shite possible and put it in the fridge with everyone elses but take other people's as to him it would be like a beer kitty. He walked out with someone's Zippo lighter once but the person he nicked it off gave him a good punch to the face and he stopped going. He started seeing one of my female friends about a year after this and she is a good laugh and always gets pissed, I'd see her out in the pub bladdered and he was always sat there either without a drink or just a coke. She said he had stopped drinking after a "family bereavement" and made her feel guilty for being pissed so much, he'd always have a face on if he had to buy her a drink. She fucked him off soon after his enforced break from drinking. Dunno why she ever went out with him as she is a good laugh and has absolutely massive tits. I saw him not long after the zippo incident in a paper shop reading the sunday papers without going to the till to buy one, after I bought one, went home I had forgotten to get some milk so went back again and he was still there reading another paper. The shopkeeper then said "are you going to buy one of them?". He just put them down and walked out.

As you've already said, they are fine, I knew that already. Yes, take your dog to a Casino, get him to play loads of card games and you'll have enough cash to buy one. I don't think you'll qualify as the Disability Act doesn't extend to canines.

You've got it completely wrong, I didnt say "wouldn't it be great if his kid is disabled" I never wished a disability on his kid, I just made the point that he seemed to think it was funny that kids have Autism and a clip round the ear would sort it all out. I made the point that it would be ironic if he had a child who suffered from such a condition and he thought a clip round the ear would sort it out and see how funny it is then. I would never wish a disabled child on anyone as I know a lot of parents of kids with disabilities and know how hard and heartbreaking it is for them.

I'm in

the film would have been more fun if there were loads of sharks attackin the lifeboats but i suppose you'd get some titanic 'expert' saying that this never took place.

Perverts. One of the managers in my place was sacked for persistent perving. Any new bird that started he'd find out her name and try to flirt with on email without even meeting her. Pinched loads of birds arses on nights out and whispered 'i've got a fucking massive cock' into the ear of some new admin bird on her first day. Whilst playing for the cricket team he started lusting over all the 14 yr old girls who were coming out of the school opposite the pitch. His wife wasnt best pleased when she found out about his antics as she worked on the same floor as his intended 'targets'. Pervs are all liabilites who cant concentrate on their work and always end up getting filled in by annoyed boyfriends or husbands.

Women in their 50's. All the women i've worked with in this age group have all been nosey 2 faced gossips who seem to use any excuse to do fuck all work.

Scallies. Most can't even string 2 sentences together, probably type official documents in text talk, want to nick stuff, lazy, take drugs, threaten to batter or get someone to batter anyone who makes them do something they disagree with. My mate was in charge of 10 scall admin officers who turned up to work reeking of pot and wearing lacoste trackies. He gave one a final warning about his punctuality and was threatened by this lad that him and his mates would get him after work if he got sacked.

That wasn't really what we meant. Just the fact that he seems to have a laugh about it, how would he cope if he was personally affected?