Harry Squatter

People who brag about saving money booking holidays. My brother went to las Vegas a few years ago and said I got ripped off by paying 250 quid more than him. What he failed to realise was that I went for 3 more days than him and got a direct flight. Being the stingy twat that he is he only went for 4 days and went Manchester to Philadelphia then Chicago to Seattle then to Vegas. He was jet lagged to fuck and tired for the whole holiday then when he got home he stayed in bed for 3 days cos he was tired. A guy in work does a similar thing every year, he'll get 2 flights to Spain or Italy just to save 20 or 30 quid then make out he is Michael Palin. Took his kids to Florida last year and did the ultimate mingebag holiday. They flew on Ryanair to Dublin then to Atlanta then Orlando saving about 150 quid overall. If anyone has been on holiday with their kids you'll know the last thing you want to be doing is prolonging their travel as they get tired and stressed. He went with a friend and his family and they shared a 2 week park pass between them so one week they would be on rides having a great time, the week after they'd be sitting round doing fuck all. Funniest thing about it was that Ryanair charged him a fuckin fortune for taking loads of luggage so his vasco da gama trip cost him even more than flying direct and paying for a 2 week park pass!

Not a very good game last night, their team played better and our just couldn't pass or shoot. I'd like to defend Mark on the "incident" as he never touched the lad when he tackled him, he just completely over reacted about it and kept trying to go back at him for another 10 minutes after Mark had told him to stop moaning. It did cause an uneasy atmosphere but we don't want our game turning into some big scally sunday league type affair. I was made up with my goals and run that hit the bar, even though I was a bit greedy in front of goal, should have passed to dave to tap in at one point but blasted it straight at the keeper from a bad angle.

Is this happening or not?

I thought we paid 8m for Adam, never heard anywhere we've paid more than that. Spearing to Reading for 3.5m would be great too, o know ot was caughtoffside.com but 6m for cole tp west ham would be hilarious. Just need villa to put in a 15m bid for downing. My car will need a few tanks of petrol to drive all of them to each ground. Off to bed for a wank about these rumours. laters.

Women who talk about celebrities/non entities like they know them personally. Bird in work talking about people in celebrity big brother like she goes the pub with them saying 'don't know why she still goes out with him/she should have left eastenders years ago'. Then goes into a rant about Madonnas adopting kids and said that 'I fully respected her and supported her adopting that kid but in hindsight it's all been done for publicity'. I am sure Madonnas is made up that a scally bird working in an office in Liverpool supported her adoption of an African kid.

That would be immense about Adam if true. Nothing against him personally but never understood why Kenny pursued him so much as he never struck me as anything special. If West Ham are willing to pay any kind of money for joe cole I would laugh my tits off. How much would Spearing be made available for?

Richard Fucking Branson, moaning today about losing the west coast train line franchise. You have been ripping people off for years you bearded cunt and forcing them to use the fate that is worse than death - National Express to London. It cost £327 in April for me to go to a meeting in London standard class, I saw a flight from Manchester to New York for a tenner less. People have been forced to stand on these trains despite paying to whack for a ticket, imagine paying 250 quid for a flight somewhere and standing by the bogs the whole flight?. Fuck you, you robbing twat. Virgin also hiked up prices for the Olympics and tried to ram as many people onto their trains as possible. No doubt the company taking over will be as expensive and as useless as yours as you raised the bar for shitness and ripping people off which is now seen as normal service.

Saw a load of these twats at Manchester airport in July. Everyone had to use the same check in desk so me and my family got stuck in the same queue as a load of twats going to Ayia napa. All had the same polo shirt on with gay names on the back such as 'The Sperminator' 'The Cheeky Fella' and 'The Mad Bastard' all constantly shouting about how many birds they would smash and whether they could shag an air hostess. All were thick ugly wooly backs who probably wanked themselves to sleep every night. Cringeworthy.

9. Rob.

Passing to each other helps too

Try the site 419eater.com for ideas. It's a site where they bait Nigerian fraud merchants into doing all kinds. Some fella on there got one fraudster to get a pirate tattoo. The Nigerian posted photos of himself getting the tattoo saying "I was scammed, shiver me timbers"

The 7m fee is the fee his agent negotiated with Universal Studios to replace Samuel L Jackson as Mr Glass in the sequel to Unbreakable.

Tell her to post a video of her shoving a bottle of baileys up her minge on here to prove her love for you but not to tell her mum otherwise we'll have some Russian battlexe on here giving us loads saying she just wants to move on with her life now.

Tell her to get a tattoo and send a picture to you. Tell her to get one saying "I suck big fat hairy cocks behind chippies" and blah her its an old English saying that Victorian people had in their wedding vows that they used to profess their love for each other.

Only because we made you look good

This off then?

It's ok because the manager has produced a 180 page document that outlines his philosophy of how to play football and given it to John Henry, plus we've got Chevrolet as a new club sponsor. This is more important than signing any decent players.

How can a fella who looks like jimmy Somerville, works on a shit car lot, wears brown suits and has his feet nailed to the floor of a shite pub get so much fanny?. Why does anyone in their right mind want to smash Kat slater when she has probably got more diseases than the outbreak monkey?

Old women who read depressing novels by female Irish and scouse writers about women in the 1960's getting pregnant at 16 or being opressed by their overbearing religious obsessed mothers. There seems to be thousands of these books about.

Little cunts on holiday buying laser pens and shining them in everyone's faces at night. Their massive chavvy parents then getting a cob on when you threaten to drown the little twats and shove said laser pen up their arse.

People you meet on holiday who think that they are world explorers because they have been going to the same resort for 15 fucking years. Basically they are sad twats who think that they are clever because they are on first name terms with the hotel staff or that they know a place down the road that does a 'cracking full English breakfast'. Cunts.

Can someone start a "Clint fucking Dempsey fucking fuck off" thread similar to the Yossi Benayoun one from a few seasons ago?

Fella in work was telling me he is going to Majorca on Tuesday, I asked him if he was looking forward to it and he said no. He said his wife won't let him handle the passports because she doesn't trust him to not lose them. Said the entire journey consists of her being panicky and neurotic. Every holiday always involves her being neurotic and finding fault with everything making him go to the check in desk or hotel reception about 50 times to complain about something pathetic. Said he was on holiday in Kenya once and they were walking down a road, she started moaning at him for something trivial and he just stopped behind her then fucked off into a pub. He looked down the road with his beer and saw her still moaning in the belief that he was still walking behind her listening to her moaning.

Have we signed anyone since yesterday yet?. These owners are a fucking joke.

She was due to go out tonight but one of her mates who was driving her and the others has suddenly decided that she doesn't fancy going. Left a vague cryptic text about her not wanting to make small talk and "stuff going on at home". This night is some woman's birthday party and they've planned this night since they got the invites in april. This is actually quite early notice for some of them as well. Some have sent texts to her cancelling 10 minutes before being picked up in a taxi.